TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES by GEORGIA JACKETT Bachelor of Arts in Psychology, Providence University College, 2019 Thesis submitted in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for The Degree of MASTER OF ARTS IN COUNSELLING PSYCHOLOGY in THE FACULTY OF GRADUATE STUDIES TRINITY WESTERN UNIVERSITY January 2022 © Georgia Jackett, 2022 TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES The following committee members attest to the successful completion of this thesis Marvin McDonald, PhD, Danielle Vriend Fluit, PhD, Gary Thomas, MA, Thesis Supervisor Second Reader Second Reader ii TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES iii ABSTRACT Generative devotion is a desirable outcome for some married Christian couples who strive to cultivate flourishing relationships with each other and with God (Dollahite et al., 2019). A narrative approach was adopted to investigate distinctive patterns among a subgroup of Christians from their experience of growth in their marital quality, emotional maturity, and spiritual journey as a couple. The results for the thematic analysis emerged in 13 shared themes, connecting in a larger pattern: foundation, oneness, depth, and growth. The emic results contribute to and expand the etic models of the generative devotion researchers. These findings may inform researchers, therapists, and pastors from these communities who work to equip Christian couples in pursuit of godly marriages. The patterns that emerged from these couples may inspire adherents of other faiths who desire to build healthy relationships as they work towards growing in faith, emotional maturity, and depth of love in marriage. Keywords: generative devotion, Christian marriage, emotional maturity, couple therapy TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES iv TABLE OF CONTENTS ABSTRACT .................................................................................................................................. iii TABLE OF CONTENTS ...............................................................................................................iv LIST OF TABLES ...................................................................................................................... viii LIST OF FIGURES ........................................................................................................................ix ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ............................................................................................................ x CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION.................................................................................................... 1 CHAPTER 2: LITERATURE REVIEW......................................................................................... 8 Formation of Spiritual Well-Being, Emotional Maturity, and Marital Quality .......................... 9 Spiritual Well-Being: Journey as a Religious Couple ........................................................... 9 Emotional Maturity: Emotional Regulation ......................................................................... 12 Marital Quality: Feeling Love.............................................................................................. 13 Maintenance of Spiritual Well-Being, Emotional Maturity, and Marital Quality .................... 15 Spiritual Well-Being: Sanctification of Marriage ................................................................ 15 Emotional Maturity: Spiritual Character and Refinement ................................................... 16 Marital Quality: Choosing Love .......................................................................................... 18 Transformation of Spiritual Well-Being, Emotional Maturity, and Marital Quality................ 19 Spiritual Well-Being: Relationship with Jesus .................................................................... 19 Emotional Maturity: Emotional Attunement ....................................................................... 21 Marital Quality: Sacrificial Love ......................................................................................... 22 TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES v Rationale and Research Question ............................................................................................. 25 CHAPTER 3: METHOD ............................................................................................................... 27 Research Design ....................................................................................................................... 27 Ontology............................................................................................................................... 27 Epistemology ....................................................................................................................... 28 Axiology............................................................................................................................... 28 Methodology and Narrative Inquiry .................................................................................... 29 Method, Research Question, and Framework ...................................................................... 30 Participants................................................................................................................................ 32 Recruitment ............................................................................................................................... 35 Data Collection Procedures ...................................................................................................... 37 Collecting the Data............................................................................................................... 37 Guideline Questions ............................................................................................................. 38 Analysis Processes .................................................................................................................... 39 Rigour and Quality.................................................................................................................... 41 Credibility ............................................................................................................................ 41 Transferability ...................................................................................................................... 42 Dependability and Confirmability ....................................................................................... 43 CHAPTER 4: FINDINGS ............................................................................................................. 45 Overview of Emic Patterns in the Findings .............................................................................. 45 TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES vi Salient Features of the Emic Patterns ....................................................................................... 46 Shared Themes .......................................................................................................................... 48 Themes in the Overall Pattern .................................................................................................. 60 CHAPTER 5: DISCUSSION ........................................................................................................ 65 Summary of Purpose, Interviews, and Results ......................................................................... 65 Integrating Results with Existing Literature ............................................................................. 68 Generative Devotion ............................................................................................................ 68 Similarities ........................................................................................................................... 69 Enhancing Marital Unity. ................................................................................................ 69 Resolving Marital Conflict. ............................................................................................. 71 Marital Sanctification. ..................................................................................................... 73 Forgiveness in Marriage. ................................................................................................. 75 Differences ........................................................................................................................... 77 A Roadmap for Marital Sanctification. ........................................................................... 78 Unity as a Couple. ........................................................................................................... 80 Navigating Marital Conflict. ........................................................................................... 81 Forgiveness in Marriage. ................................................................................................. 83 Applications to Therapy............................................................................................................ 85 Strengths and Limitations ......................................................................................................... 86 Recommendations for Future Research .................................................................................... 88 TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES vii Conclusion ................................................................................................................................ 89 REFERENCES .............................................................................................................................. 91 APPENDIX A: Glossary ............................................................................................................. 100 APPENDIX B: My Personal Relationship with the Research .................................................... 102 APPENDIX C: My Identity and Inheritance in Christ Position Statement ................................. 106 APPENDIX D: Background Questionnaire ................................................................................ 109 APPENDIX E: Relationship Flourishing Scale .......................................................................... 111 APPENDIX F: E-mail to Key Informants ................................................................................... 112 APPENDIX G: Recruitment Poster............................................................................................. 114 APPENDIX H: E-mail to Nominated Couples Sent from Key Informants ................................ 115 APPENDIX I: Welcome E-mail to Volunteers who Have Reached Out .................................... 116 APPENDIX J: Consent Form ...................................................................................................... 117 APPENDIX K: E-mail Sent to Selected Participants .................................................................. 119 APPENDIX L: Second Interview Script ..................................................................................... 120 APPENDIX M: Interview Guide Questions................................................................................ 121 Appendix N: Table 1 Reprint Permission ................................................................................... 122 Appendix O: Figure 2 Reprint Permission .................................................................................. 128 TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES viii LIST OF TABLES Table 1 Generative Devotion in Personal and Relational Processes ............................................. 11 Table 2 Participant Background Information ................................................................................ 46 Table 3 Connections Between Themes, Salient Features, Objects, and Meanings ....................... 61 TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES ix LIST OF FIGURES Figure 1 A Christian Model of Generative Devotion ...................................................................... 6 Figure 2 God as Direct or Indirect Influence on Marriage ............................................................ 21 Figure 3 The Four Salient Features ............................................................................................... 47 Figure 4 Themes Embodied in a Physical Space........................................................................... 60 Figure 5 Embodied Themes with Salient Features ........................................................................ 63 TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES x ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Thank you to the couples who shared their stories with me. You shared with bravery, openness, and humility as you reflected on some of the deepest and most vulnerable parts of your relationship. It was an honour to sit with you as you kindly shared your stories and experiences of marital, spiritual, and emotional growth. I would like to thank my supervisor, Mac, for offering me your wise insights, your passion for research, and your gentle guidance throughout this project. It has been an honour to learn from you and I greatly appreciate the feedback and encouragement that you provided. Thank you to my second readers, Gary Thomas and Danielle Vriend-Fluit, whose expertise in the topics of faith and family life have greatly contributed to this research. You have both inspired me towards greatness in this field, both personally and professionally. Gary, thank you for your valuable insights around the intricacies of ministry, faith, and marriage. Danielle, thank you for bringing your professional experience of relationships, therapy, and research. Thank you to my husband, Daniel, for your constant encouragement and support throughout this journey. Thank you for your commitment to grow together as a couple, for your prayers, and for all the conversations that have been sparked as we have embarked on our own marriage journey. Thank you for cheering me on in this endeavour. I am grateful for my parents, Paul and Mary Jane, who have consistently demonstrated the love of Christ toward one another, and to me. Your marriage has been a gift not only to me but also to everyone who knows you. Thank you for your endless support, encouragement, prayers, and inspiration. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 1 CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION The journey of marriage may include mountain-high victories, valley-low experiences, and everywhere in between. Two imperfect people learning to love each other in close proximity presents a great opportunity to experience a beautiful, yet challenging, refinement of the self (Thomas, 2000). Past research indicates that couples experience higher marital commitment (Lambert & Dollahite, 2008), quality (Stafford et al., 2014), stability (Call & Heaton, 1997), and satisfaction (Dudley & Kosinski, 1990) when their faith integrates with marriage. Goodman and Dollahite (2006) found that the influence of God (both indirectly and directly) was particularly significant in bringing stability, unity, growth, motivation, happiness, and peace to the marriage relationship. The generative devotion model proposed by Dollahite et al. (2019) posits personal, relational, and generational religious processes: some of which include fostering marital devotion, engaging in relational coping skills, partaking in relationally oriented prayer, sacrificing for spouse, personal repentance, forgiveness, and sanctifying marriage (see Appendix A for a glossary). Mahoney et al. (1999) found that religious couples who act in ways to sanctify marriage have more positive outcomes for their relationship compared to religious couples who do not treat their marriage as sacred. When the domain of faith and the sphere of marriage connect, two deeply significant realms of life have the potential to impact each other in an impressively influential way, and Mahoney and colleagues noted that this intersection between faith and marriage needs further exploration. Culturally dominant expectations of marriage in Canada and the United States emphasize the sexual and romantic aspects of relationships. These are important dynamics for any couple relationship, but marriage can rest on much more than sex and romance. Some married couples TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 2 experience the benefits of high marital quality, spiritual growth, and emotional maturity that foster generative devotion in their relationships with people and with God (Dollahite et al., 2019). When the storms of life hit, their marriage seems to be anchored in a deep love that outlasts the emotional struggle. Dollahite and colleagues’ (2019) research on generative devotion has taken on an approach that addresses the broader etic-oriented research community. Conventional research communities can be described as cultural groups who intentionally address multiple diverse faith communities. Dollahite and colleagues use general and broad language for their readers as they take an etic approach to understand spirituality in marriage, which allows their results to be valued and relatable among the various specific communities of faith. They also welcome readers who may be unfamiliar with or unidentified with faith communities. One can refer to this latter group of people as friendly outsiders who represent a perspective that emphasizes shared features of human relationships and priorities. Principles of generative devotion may also be applied to outsiders, in a way that looks different and may be less focused on aspects of faith. Dollahite et al. (2019) have described an etic approach to generative devotion that involves many emic subgroups of faith communities. Although emic faith groups may share similar patterns and even overlap at times, different communities may have distinctive ways in how they live out the practices of generative devotion. Taking an emic scholarly approach is worthwhile for faith communities, and taking emic approaches also benefits and enriches the etic models of scholars. The patterns that I hope to clarify in this thesis may well be of benefit both to scholars and to faith communities. As researchers, we have to understand emic subgroups so that the richness of any subgroup can be sympathetically understood. It is valuable to track patterns of generative devotion when the focus narrows on a particular group so that researchers can learn TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 3 what makes them unique as a distinct faith community and how that uniqueness shapes the understanding of generative devotion. One of the interesting features of the generative devotion model is that the authors of this model invite both emic and outsider perspectives not only to learn about the etic faith groups but also to expand the principles of their research. The emic faith group that is researched in this thesis is a specific subgroup of Christians who believe that marriage is an intentional relationship between one man and one woman that can reflect the deep love of God, that marriage is sanctified, that marriage is instituted by God, and that God is actively involved in their lives (Brown, 2014; Keller & Keller, 2011; see also Appendix C). Throughout this thesis, I use language to accommodate all three types of readers: the emic, the etic, and the outsider. For instance, if I am talking about the influence of faith in marriage, for the friendly outsiders who prefer to emphasize human relationships and realities, this language may sound like, “For some couples, their spiritual commitments have changed the way they think about marriage as they consider the true meaning of love”. The etic language may sound like, “For some couples, their personal faith journey has changed the way they think about marriage as they consider how their idea of love has been shaped by their understanding of God”. Lastly, in emic language we might say, “For some couples, their relationship with Jesus and understanding of the Holy Spirit has changed the way they think about marriage because of their own personal experience of God’s love”. I invite all readers to recognize the language that is most relatable as this research has specifically taken an emic approach to further and deepen the understanding of what faith means to married couples from this particular Christian community. Speaking to the outsider, listening to the accounts of others is an effective way to learn about the sacred moments in a couple’s relationship and is also a transforming method to inspire TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 4 others towards hope in their own marital struggles. Mahoney (2010) suggested that future researchers look toward processes of formation, maintenance, and transformation within faith and family relationships. Through narrative inquiry, Christian couples can share how, together, they experience growth in their marriage relationships, spiritual journeys, and emotional maturity to cultivate generative devotion in their lives. In using etic language, people who identify with a faith community may claim that their spirituality has had a profound impact on their marriage. Dollahite and colleagues (2019) have extended an invitation to researchers to examine generative devotion principles and to weave them into their own scholarly work. They also invite scholars who work at the nexus of faith and family life to consider ways that their efforts might be best employed to strengthen generational bonds, promote human flourishing, enhance human agency, and assist persons in families of faith to support one another in their devotions to God, to one another, and to those who need them most. (p. 444) In using emic language to address the specific faith community studied in this thesis (and to which I belong), a marriage relationship is seen to reflect the sacrificial and unconditional love of God, which is demonstrated through Jesus dying on the cross to save humanity from their sin (Keller & Keller, 2011). In this community, Jesus’ death is considered to be the perfect example of sacrificial love and the best example of perfect, unconditional love. I have experienced the effects of selfless love in my own marriage. When my husband gives me grace that I do not deserve, when he responds with kindness after I have hurt him, and when he blesses me when I have wronged him, I can see the love and grace of Jesus at work in our marriage. As a woman who strives to live a life led by the Holy Spirit and to have a deep personal relationship with TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 5 Jesus Christ, my desire to selflessly love my husband comes from a place of feeling grateful to God for the unconditional love that He has shown me. My personal theological stance in relation to the research project presented here is further described in Appendix B. In this research I want to investigate how Christian couples experience transformation in their marital quality, spiritual journey, and emotional maturity as they strive to promote a lifestyle of generative devotion in their relationship with each other and with God. Not only can marriage and religion be positively related, but some would argue that marriage and faith cannot be separated and that a marriage relationship thrives when two hearts are fully devoted to the Lord Jesus Christ (Keller & Keller, 2011). In difficult times of marital struggle, some Christian couples may turn to their faith in Jesus to equip them for relational strengthening and, as a result, they may experience a deepening of their spiritual journey. Each couple holds their own experience of marriage and spirituality, and one fitting and powerful way of exploring these domains is through the avenue of storytelling. In Figure 1 I lay out a general description of how the dimensions of marriage fit together with the phases of relationship development. This model serves as an application and extension of both Dollahite et al.’s (2019) and Mahoney’s (2010) etic frameworks, synthesizing conceptual elements. Given that generative devotion in its etic form is compatible with Mahoney’s framework, the structure in Figure 1 can be addressed in an etic fashion and can be clarified in a helpful manner by looking directly at a specific community of faith. The combination of rows and columns shown in Figure 1 provide an emic Christian model of what generative devotion can look like in marriage relationships that unfold overtime. This tentative model offers a conceptual summary of how some Christian couples may work towards generative devotion in their lives. In a formation stage, couples may devote TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 6 Figure 1 A Christian Model of Generative Devotion An Emic Christian Model of Generative Devotion Note. The columns in Figure 1 describe relationship phases that take shape and mature overtime (see Mahoney, 2010). The rows in Figure 1 identify dimensions of marriage: spiritual well-being, emotional maturity, and marital quality (Fishbane, 2011; Goodman & Dollahite, 2006; Siegel, 2007; Zadoulek, 2014). Together, these elements of couple development describe a number of ways that generative devotion may unfold for some Christian couples (Dollahite et al., 2019). themselves to a shared spiritual journey (Dollahite et al., 2019), learn emotional regulation (Sbarra & Hazan, 2008), and share strong feelings of love (Savulescu & Sandberg, 2008). In a maintenance stage, couples may work towards sanctification of marriage (Mahoney et al., 1999), character refinement (Zadoulek, 2014), and choosing to love in difficult times (Keller & Keller, 2011). In a transformation stage, couples may experience growth in their personal relationship with Jesus Christ (Shichida et al., 2015), emotional attunement with one another (Knudson- TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 7 Martin, 2013) and in actions of sacrificial love (Pippert et al., 2019). Furthermore, a final stage of transformation can provide a proactive climate for couples who desire to nurture generative devotion in their relationships. I will explain the key concepts of this model in the next chapter. Overall, the relationship between marriage, faith, and emotional maturity are important topics as couples foster generative devotion in their lives. The three relationship stages of formation, maintenance, and transformation will act as an organizational strategy that supports the research on marital relationship processes. I expand on these relationship stages as they relate to generative devotion in the literature review of the next chapter. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 8 CHAPTER 2: LITERATURE REVIEW The purpose of this study was to understand how Christian couples from this emic subgroup experience growth in their spiritual well-being, emotional maturity, and marital quality, together as a couple. Within the existing literature, a wide variety of religious groups and spiritual depths have been explored by researchers (Dollahite et al., 2019), including groups with many different spiritual outlooks (Goodman & Dollahite, 2006). For a diverse range of cultural, religious, and social backgrounds, generative devotion can be a desirable outcome for many couples who share common goals of having healthy, committed relationships (Dollahite et al., 2019). There are specific distinctions among emic faith groups pertaining to generative devotion that cannot be clarified through taking an etic approach. This study will focus on a specific subgroup of Christians who believe (a) that Jesus is Lord, (b) that God is actively involved in our lives, (c) that marriage is sanctified, (d) that marriage is instituted by God, and (e) that marriage is designed for one man and one woman. Appendix C is a position statement that summarizes some beliefs about one’s identity in Christ to which some Christian groups adhere (see Southland Church, 2011). To help grasp this multifaceted literature, it is important to recognize a contrast between proximal and distal measures of researching the connections between marriage and religion (see Appendix A). Some researchers have pursued studies that measure these spheres from a distance, such as individual religiousness in connection to marital quality (Brimhall & Butler, 2007; Dudley & Kosinski, 1990). These distal measures lack descriptions of ways that couples go on a spiritual journey together. Researchers can look at proximal measures to gain a deeper understanding of how married couples experience their faith as a couple (Mahoney et al., 1999). TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 9 Some examples of proximal measures are when a couple engages in spiritual activity together or how they participate in the sanctification of marriage. In sanctifying marriage, couples may believe their marriage has sacred characteristics or that they have experienced their relationship as an avenue of God’s manifestation in their lives. This chapter reviews literature that pertains to connections between spiritual well-being, emotional maturity, and marital quality in relation to some Christian faith groups. These dimensions of marriage will be explored through the relationship development phases of formation, maintenance, and transformation (Mahoney, 2010). This chapter concludes by mentioning a few ways that the practice of therapy might be relevant to this research focus. As an aid to the reader, Figure 1 outlines a tentative overview of an emic Christian model for generative devotion where both the relational dimensions and developmental phases are used to organize the previous literature. Formation of Spiritual Well-Being, Emotional Maturity, and Marital Quality As couples formulate a committed relationship through a marriage covenant, they participate in an act of devotion to each other. Each spouse has the opportunity to move from personal devotion to generative devotion because they are now in a committed relationship (Dollahite et al., 2019). For some couples, the early stages of marriage can present trials as each spouse transitions from pre-marriage to early marriage. This formation phase of relationship development is where a couple’s spiritual journey as a family unit is birthed, where couples may develop skills to regulate emotions, and where feelings of love are often heightened. Spiritual Well-Being: Journey as a Religious Couple The formation of a couple’s spiritual journey initiates through the act of marriage as two individuals bring their own spiritual backgrounds together to form a new family unit. The TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 10 spiritual journey that forms between a man and a woman in marriage can be a unifying experience, a dividing experience, or perhaps a mix of both (Kelley et al., 2020). Couples who are congruent in their faith are known as religiously homogamous and this can lead to greater marital adjustment (Dudley & Kosinski, 1990; Wilson & Musick, 1996). Thirty-one of the 32 religious couples in Goodman and Dollahite’s (2006) study claimed that God was an important part of their marriage, if not the most essential aspect to their relationship. A husband and wife may have differing reasons that drive their faith (Brimhall & Butler, 2007), as Anthony (1993) found that a group with relatively high marital satisfaction identified as being motivated to live out their faith due to intrinsic factors. Dollahite et al. (2019) theorized that there are destructive, selfish, personal, and generative types of devotion. Generative devotion is suggested to be the best outcome as it moves beyond the self and focuses on the long-term well-being of couple’s relationships with God, one another, and others. As summarized in Table 1, I largely focus on the personal and relational religious processes of generative devotion as these areas directly pertain to flourishing couple relationships. It is important to understand that personal religious processes are based on individual actions yet are essential for engaging in relational religious processes (Dollahite et al., 2019). These relational religious processes explicitly focus on the shared devotion and experience of a couple’s spiritual journey. Although personal religious processes are necessary for spiritual growth, researchers can embrace a proximal approach as they explore the relationship between marriage and spirituality by specifically studying relational religious processes. Mahoney and colleagues (1999) noted that “individually based measures of religiousness do not assess the extent to which couples integrate religion into their dyadic activities or TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 11 Table 1 Generative Devotion in Personal and Relational Processes Generative Devotion in Personal and Relational Processes Type of Process Personal Religious Processes Generative Devotion Taking personal religious responsibility Personal repentance Granting forgiveness Other-oriented prayer, scripture study, service Sacrificing for spouse Relational Religious Processes Nurturing marital and family devotion Avoiding and resolving conflicts with shared devotion Theistic meditation Relational coping skills Sanctifying marriage Relationally-oriented prayer, scripture study Note. Adapted from “Generative Devotion: A Theory of Sacred Relational Care in Families of Faith,” by D. C. Dollahite, L. D. Marks, and G. J. Wurm, 2019, Journal of Family Theory & Review, 11(3), p. 434 (https:/doi.org/10.1111/jftr.12339). Copyright 2019 by John Wiley and Sons. Reprinted and adapted with permission. See Appendix N. perceptions of their marriage” (p. 322) and stated that previous research has largely studied faith from a distance. Mahoney et al. (2003) argued that research regarding religion must go beyond distal measures like church attendance or denomination and proposed a proximal approach for researching spirituality. Instead of distal measures, proximal measures are more direct ways of assessing couples’ engagement with shared spiritual activities and how they view the sanctification of marriage (Mahoney et al., 1999). TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 12 Dollahite et al. (2019) used the term devotion as a proximal religious process that demonstrates “both religious and relational involvement, commitment, and loyalty to God, family, neighbours, and others” (p. 432). Dollahite and colleagues used devotion in place of religion, which they consider to be a distal construct. This way, devotion can include those who consider themselves to be spiritual but not religious. There are some negative connotations that are associated with religion: such as rules, routines, and even emptiness. Some Christians prefer to say that their faith is not built upon a religion but instead a relationship with Jesus Christ. Christian couples who share devotion to Christ may engage in an intentional spiritual life together as a couple, which becomes a part of their spiritual journey. A distinct element of some Christian couple’s spiritual journey is how they view and endorse the sanctification of marriage (Mahoney et al., 1999), and I address this point in the section on maintaining spiritual wellbeing. Emotional Maturity: Emotional Regulation Self-regulation is a broad construct that includes cognitive and physiological processes that can lead to positive outcomes (Bassett et al., 2012). A person who self-regulates well is aware of their emotions and behaviours. They can understand and manage (regulate) their feelings in ways that lead to positive outcomes for their personal and relational well-being. In relationships, two people learn to self-regulate with each other and this is especially necessary in a marriage relationship, as spouses may become each other’s primary psychological and physiological regulator (Sbarra & Hazan, 2008). Co-regulation is “the reciprocal maintenance of psychophysiological homeostasis within a relationship” (Sbarra & Hazan, 2008, p. 143), which means that to a certain extent, partners are affected by one another’s emotions and behaviours. Fishbane (2011) found that “couples coregulate each other through love, touch, and empathy; TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 13 they also may dysregulate each other with a cascade of negative physical and emotional reactions” (p. 341) and noted that human functioning is influenced through connection and social attachment. There is compelling evidence that as romantic relationships develop, an attachment-inthe-making phase begins, and couples form an attachment bond through pair-bonding (Crowell et al., 2002; Zeifman & Hazan, 1997). Disruptions to their attachment bond (e.g. when a couple argues, annoys each other, etc.) can cause dysregulation in the physiological and behavioural systems of the individuals (Sbarra & Hazan, 2008). Self-regulation is a limited human resource that can be renewable over time, yet unfortunately, in vulnerable moments individuals may experience underregulation or misregulation, which can lead to self-regulation failure (Baumeister & Heatherton, 1996). A marriage relationship offers space for couples to form patterns of co-regulation, which may result in positive or negative outcomes. These patterns of behavioural and emotional responses need maintenance in order to preserve the health of the relationship, and I explain this in the maintenance section that addresses emotional maturity. Marital Quality: Feeling Love From a biological perspective, the love hormone known as oxytocin releases and generates feelings of falling in love when a romantic relationship takes shape (Savulescu & Sandberg, 2008). Popular culture in Canada and the United States suggests that true love comes from having a strong connection established between two partners. For instance, this view is promoted on reality television like The Bachelor, Love is Blind, or Married at First Sight, which encourage quick feelings of romance followed by an engagement (McKenzie & Dales, 2017). Some people desire marriage because of potential benefits, such as the positive psychological and physical consequences of being in a relationship. One study looked at how marriage TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 14 provides self-esteem and prevents loneliness through companionship (Stutzer & Frey, 2006). Ultimately, one of the key reasons why people desire marriage is that they see marriage as a means of reaching happiness, and some couples go into marriage thinking that the relationship will satisfy their emotional needs (Savulescu & Sandberg, 2008). Culturally dominant and gendered expectations of marriage in the USA and Canada seem to be that the relationship is sexual for men and romantic for women, but other perspectives see that marriage has deeper and richer purposes (Goodman & Dollahite, 2006; Mahoney et al., 1999; Norman, 2006). In the perspective of some Canadian and US Christian subgroups, marriage is seen as a sanctified commitment that can reflect the sacrificial love displayed through the person of Jesus Christ (Keller & Keller, 2011). Marital quality can include a wide range of aspects relating to relationships such as commitment, satisfaction, stability, connection, and dependency. For some couples, it might be easy to love each other when the relationship is exciting, fascinating, and new, but many couples who have been married for longer than a few months may tell you that the feelings of love eventually fade. Unfortunately, the reality is that many “relationships are failing despite marital therapy and efforts to support them” (Savulescu & Sandberg, 2008, p. 41). A number of factors seem to be related to stability and longevity of marriage relationships (Dollahite et al., 2019; Lambert & Dollahite, 2008). For instance, some studies show that a couple’s positive perceptions of a personal God can be associated with stronger marital connection (Shichida et al., 2015), positive marital outcomes (Goodman & Dollahite, 2006), and greater marital functioning (Mahoney et al., 1999). Additional research needs to further explore these connections between faith and marital relationships (Mahoney et al., 1999; Goodman & Dollahite, 2006). Marriage relationships may benefit from romantic feelings of TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 15 love, yet Keller and Keller (2011) proposed that a strong, long-term marriage relationship ultimately requires the choice of love. I will expand on this process in the section of maintaining marital quality. Maintenance of Spiritual Well-Being, Emotional Maturity, and Marital Quality As a couple develops their relationship overtime, maintenance may be required to polish and strengthen the marriage. In this phase of development, couples may experience difficulties that test their relationship. To strengthen their marriage, some Christian couples may focus on the sanctification of marriage, character refinement, and choosing to love their spouse through the trials. Generative devotion encourages couples that even in life’s struggles, couples can embrace their shared devotion to God, one another, and others as they work towards the wellbeing of their long-term relationships (Dollahite et al., 2019). Spiritual Well-Being: Sanctification of Marriage Sanctification is one way that spirituality can affect marital relationships (Norman, 2006). Pargament et al. (2017) studied people who view marriage as sacred and noted that the sacred aspects of life hold deep significance for many people. In their model, for something to be considered sacred it means that it connects with God for deeper spiritual purposes. To further clarify features of marital sanctification, Mahoney et al. (1999) explained that “(a) individuals may view their marriage as having sacred qualities, and (b) individuals may experience marriage as a manifestation of God” (p. 322). Experiencing the manifestation of God in a marital relationship can be how one perceives that God is active and influential in their marriage (Hernandez et al., 2011). Other perspectives see that a sanctified marriage’s essential qualities can be described as having spiritual character and religious significance (Mahoney et al., 2003). TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 16 As shown in Table 1, sanctifying marriage is one example of a relational religious process. Some practical sacred qualities in marriage may include forgiving their spouse, accepting their spouse, making personal sacrifices, and dealing with conflicts in an appropriate and effective manner (Mahoney et al., 2003). Dollahite and colleagues (2019) discovered that as participants seek marital sanctification, spouses may engage in reading sacred texts, praying, and paying attention to sermons. These intentional acts motivate and encourage some spouses to overcome personal areas of struggle as they pursue help from God and their religious communities to improve their relationship in the hopes of becoming a better spouse. The fruit of generative devotion in marriage develops as spouses seek to have shared sacred meaning as they nurture and sanctify their relationship with their spouse and with God, which usually takes place as individuals engage in personal and relational religious practices. The strength of a perception of one’s marriage as sacred has been associated with higher levels of general marital functioning (Mahoney et al., 1999), lower levels of marital conflict (Lambert & Dollahite, 2006), and stable levels of marital commitment (Lambert & Dollahite, 2008). Norman (2006) found that due to the sacred nature of marriage, some couples experience spiritual emotions, emotional closeness, and a balance of cohesion and flexibility. There appear to be many positive benefits for couples who pursue sacred marriage qualities in their relationship. Many of these sanctification processes share overlapping elements with selfregulation principles that foster generative devotion, which I explain in the next section. Emotional Maturity: Spiritual Character and Refinement In some studies, some Christians have said that God has helped them develop Christ-like attributes and that these characteristics have bettered their marriages (Dollahite et al., 2019; Zadoulek, 2014). As a couple maintains the health of their relationship, they may go through a TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 17 refinement process as they are confronted with their imperfections. Some researchers have found that both the example of Jesus and the intervention of God have influenced marriages by helping spouses become more Christ-like in their character (Goodman & Dollahite, 2006; Zadoulek, 2014). For some Christian couples, developing spiritual characteristics such as the fruits of the spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithful, gentleness, and self-control) may be one way to engage in healthy relational patterns. In integrating the insights from multiple researchers, we can understand that some couples may experience unhealthy, destructive relationship cycles that cause a disruption in the marital relationship. When a spouse is aware of an unhealthy cycle that is taking place, they may have the opportunity to learn to respond well instead of reacting with destructive behaviour (Fishbane, 2011). This is an area of relationship maintenance where couples can learn to refine their emotional and behavioural responses as they work to understand their emotions and refine their character. This awareness can be especially helpful as couples seek to maintain marital functioning in the midst of calamity or disconnection. When couples understand and express emotions in healthy ways, this can build trust, connection, and safety within a relationship. Fishbane explains that healthy emotional expression does not equal suppressing emotions, but rather, expressing emotions in ways that do not become overwhelming and destructive to the relationship. As individuals seek to maintain healthy patterns of emotional and behavioural responses, couples may find that the way that they respond to their spouse has an impact on the relationship (Fishbane, 2011). Couples can implement generative devotion principles when they engage in healthy relational coping skills and for some couples this can be transformational for their marriage relationship (Dollahite et al., 2019). Some participants shared that their spiritual beliefs TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 18 and practices inspired them to change in small ways, which eventually led to places of deep transformation in both their family relationships and personal lives. An example of this is the act of forgiveness and reconciliation. One couple from Dollahite et al.’s (2019) study shared that when there is conflict in their marriage they often stop and pray together to ask each other and God for forgiveness, discernment, and direction. This pathway to generative devotion may enable couples to implement practical relational skills that produce positive patterns of coregulation. Marital Quality: Choosing Love This stage of maintenance may encourage couples to rely on their commitment to each other when they experience adversity. Sometimes spouses feel like giving up on each other in the dark, deep crevices of life that equate to difficult, hard, and trying times. The couple in Chelladurai et al.’s (2020) case study, Amy and Matt, recognized that their marriage was breaking down and they realized that a choice needed to be made. At a critical point in their relationship, Amy and Matt made an intentional decision to love each other as they chose to prioritize their marriage. Amy noticed that her negative feelings towards her Matt were starting to affect her. As she asked God to help her, she felt inclined to consider why she fell in love with Matt in the first place. When Amy would start to become agitated in her marriage, one way that she practiced marriage maintenance was to take control of her thoughts and recall some of the more positive qualities that she saw in her husband. A central discovery here is that Amy recognized the disconnection in her marriage and instead of giving up on her marriage, she decided to ask God for help and was willing to change her heart posture. This is one example of how a couple can implement principles of generative devotion in a maintenance stage. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 19 In summary, marriage maintenance often occurs when mistakes are made and when grace is needed (Dollahite et al., 2019). In the particular faith community of Christian believers who view marriage as sanctified, some spouses may see their relationship as an opportunity to show each other God’s love despite the failures of one another (Keller & Keller, 2011; Smalley et al., 2007; Thomas, 2000). A successful maintenance stage can lead to transformation as spouses grow in loving and understanding the needs of each other. For some couples it may take many seasons or years of maintenance before healthy behavioural, spiritual, and emotional patterns are normal occurrences. When a couple experiences growth in the areas of faith, marriage, and emotional maturity, this could be an indication that the fruits of generative devotion are being harvested in their relationship. Transformation of Spiritual Well-Being, Emotional Maturity, and Marital Quality Generative devotion can take place throughout all phases of relationship development. However, the positive outcomes of generative devotion can be quite evident in the transformation stage if couples have formed and maintained generative devotion principles throughout their relationship. Some participants from Dollahite et al.’s (2019) study reported that their spirituality inspired them to change and led them to experience deep transformation in their marriage relationship. When couples experience transformation in their spiritual well-being, emotional maturity, and marital quality, the generative devotion practices can help couples flourish and thrive in their relationships with God and with one another. Spiritual Well-Being: Relationship with Jesus Some religious couples perceive God as being deeply involved in their marriage relationships (Dollahite et al., 2012; Goodman & Dollahite, 2006; Lambert & Dollahite, 2008). Some married couples in Shichida et al.’s research (2015) who identify as Christians indicated TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 20 that as a couple they “build relationships with this perceived personal God by obeying, serving, emulating, identifying with, or feeling close to God, and by receiving grace from God” (p. 49). Shichida and colleagues (2015) also found that for some couples, the relational love of God identified as a model for marriage. Goodman and Dollahite (2006) found that couples who perceived God as a God of being (being an example, a source of accountability, and a resource) and as a God of doing (answering prayers, Holy Spirit intervention, giving grace) viewed God to be more involved in their marriage. Figure 2 shows how some pathways that recognize the involvement of God may lead to beneficial outcomes for marriage such as stability, unity, growth, motivation, happiness, and peace (Goodman & Dollahite, 2006). In other words, some Christian couples have found that their marriage has been transformed through having a personal relationship with God (Dollahite et al., 2019; Goodman & Dollahite, 2006; Shichida et al., 2015). As suggested in Figure 1, practices emerging from generative devotion can be pivotal for couples as they engage in relational coping skills, nurturing marital devotion, conflict resolution skills, theistic mediation, sanctifying marriage, relationally oriented prayer, and scripture reading (Dollahite et al., 2019). These are a few practical ways of how some Christian couples may choose to incorporate their relationship with God into their marriage. For some Christian couples, high spiritual well-being might be a result of going through refining processes in marriage as spouses speak in truth, love, and grace (Keller & Keller, 2011). It may be through such seasons of refining that Christ-followers learn to repent from their sin and become holier, which is what Thomas (2000) believed contributes to a happier marriage. Some Christians believe that Jesus’ death on the cross was the ultimate example of how God loves and pursues humanity and this focus can be transformational for some couples. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 21 Figure 2 God as Direct or Indirect Influence on Marriage God as Direct or Indirect Influence on Marriage Note. From “How Religious Couples Perceive the Influence of God in their Marriage,” by M. A. Goodman and D. C. Dollahite, 2006, Review of Religious Research, 48(2), p. 151 (https://www.jstor.org/stable/20058129). Copyright 2006 by Copyright Clearance Center, Inc. Reprinted with permission. See Appendix O. Emotional Maturity: Emotional Attunement Couples who learn to self-regulate and refine their character within the marriage relationship may experience the benefits of emotional attunement with one another. KnudsonMartin and Huenergardt (2010) explained the four conditions that are fundamental for couples as they work towards mutual support: mutual influence, shared vulnerability, shared relationship responsibility, and mutual attunement. They explained attunement to be when a person goes TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 22 beyond their own ways of being to understand another’s emotional experience. Siegel (2007) explained that interpersonal attunement is paralleled to intrapersonal attunement as it begins with mindful awareness that is associated with the prefrontal cortex of the brain. Developing skills such as “regulation of body systems, balancing emotions, attuning to others, modulating fear, responding flexibly, and exhibiting insight and empathy” help individuals function effectively in relationships as they grow capacity for resilience, intimate relationships, and well-being (Siegel, 2007, p. 26). Siegel (2007) described how interpersonal attunement is fundamental to having a secure attachment between two people. He explained how important it is for people to understand nonverbal emotional signals so that the internal worlds of others may be understood on a deeper level. Through a deeper understanding of what is going on emotionally, this awareness may increase a person’s compassion and empathy for others as they seek connection with one another. Emotional attunement promotes integration in couple relationships as individuals strengthen their resilience and grow their capacity for self-regulation as they build an empathic relationship. Marital Quality: Sacrificial Love Sacrificing in romantic relationships is a controversial topic (Whitton et al., 2007). Some researchers have found that sacrificial acts in marriage can enhance both marital quality and the spiritual well-being of religious couples (Dollahite et al., 2019). Other researchers have recognized that relational sacrifice can have positive and negative outcomes in marriage depending on the frequency from each spouse and the motivation behind the sacrifice (Pippert et al., 2019). Stafford and colleagues (2014) found that sacrificing in relationships led to negative TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 23 marital quality yet it was unclear if the spouses were internally or externally motivated to selfsacrifice in their marriage. As the benefits and disadvantages of sacrificial actions are explored and researched, there is growing evidence that sacrifices should be balanced with self-care practices. Pippert et al. (2019) found that tensions exist between the areas of sacrifice and self-care in relationships, and specifically, that the pursuit of either of these actions without the other can cause disconnection in the marital relationship. They suggested that a balance of both self-care and sacrifice deserve equal attention in a marital relationship. Pippert and colleagues also found that when love for God was a motivator, participants had more meaningful experiences of selflessness. The following two examples from Smalley et al. (2007) and Keller and Keller (2011) are teachings from an emic faith community that illustrate the sacrificial love of God. It is important to note that the following illustrations are not research based. Smalley et al. (2007) stated that in order to love well we must take care of ourselves first. They proposed that some ways to do this are to receive love from God and others, attend to our own legitimate needs, and to give selflessly. Smalley and colleagues (2007) described how Christian couples can rely on God’s love in this process: Only when water flows out can new, fresh water come into the well and keep the water healthy. Your goal must be to get full, get poured out, and get full again, in a neverending cycle of giving and receiving God’s love. (p. 103) For some Christian couples, an integrative approach to self-care and sacrifice can build a Godcentred marriage. Some couples find that in this process, they need to rely on the Holy Spirit for help as Keller and Keller (2011) explained: TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 24 But the gospel, brought home to your heart by the Spirit, can make you happy enough to be humble, giving you an internal fullness that frees you to be generous with the other even when you are not getting the satisfaction you want out of the relationship. Without the help of the Spirit, without a continual refilling of your soul’s tank with the glory and love of the Lord, such submission to the interests of the other is virtually impossible to accomplish for any length of time without becoming resentful. … To have a marriage that sings requires a Spirit-created ability to serve, to take yourself out of the center, to put the needs of others ahead of your own. … The deep happiness that marriage can bring, then, lies on the far side of sacrificial service in the power of the Spirit. That is, you only discover your happiness after each of you has put the happiness of your spouse ahead of your own, in a sustained way, in response to what Jesus has done for you. (pp. 57-58) In the perspectives of some Christian subgroups, a transformed marriage can be the result of selfless, sacrificial behaviours that are motivated by the love of Jesus. In Romans 5:8 it reads, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (NIV). Some Christians would interpret this verse to mean that in the midst of humans beating, whipping, and crucifying Jesus, it was in that very moment of betrayal and hurt that He demonstrated the greatest act of sacrificial love. I have now reviewed the literature across the phases of relationship development and the dimensions of marriage that I described in Figure 1. Previous literature helps to bring different elements together to conceptualize some ways of how generative devotion can be prevalent in the lives of some Christian couples. This study focused on how couples can experience TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 25 generative devotion together and I investigated how generative devotion principles can be manifested emically and applied etically. Rationale and Research Question It has been suggested that more researchers need to examine the potential reciprocity between faith and family and that additional research on these topics could be very insightful for both couples and counselling professionals (Zadoulek, 2014). Pippert and colleagues (2019) recommended that future researchers explicitly study the intersection between sacrifice, selfcare, faith, and family-life. As more research brings together the intersection of faith, marriage, and self-regulation, these interdependent influences may become more sophisticated and the counselling field will be better fit for those who counsel religious couples (Kelley et al., 2020). This study looked at the formation, maintenance, and transformation of Christian couples through narrative inquiry. In this thesis, couples from specific Christian communities were invited to address how their spiritual well-being developed from the start of their marriage, to having a sanctified marriage, to how their personal relationship with Jesus has transformed their marriage. Other areas I explored with participants were how self-regulation develops through an attachment bond, how couples grow in spiritual character and refinement, and how couples experience emotional attunement. The other processes that couples discussed were how their marital quality has emerged from falling in love, to choosing to love, to growing in sacrificial love for one another. The research question for this thesis was as follows: how are your spiritual well-being, emotional maturity, and quality of marriage being transformed into generative devotion as a Christian couple? Interview procedures sought to clarify themes and narratives behind the TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 26 formation, maintenance, and transformation of participants’ journeys together in life as couples who have experienced growth in their faith, emotions, and marriage relationship. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 27 CHAPTER 3: METHOD Research Design As a researcher I am drawn to qualitative research because it fits best with my desire to better understand human experiences (Mackenzie & Knipe, 2006). Constructivism has a background of phenomenology and hermeneutics and largely focuses on interpreting the meaning of lived experiences. In this section I expand on the ontology, epistemology, axiology, and methodology as it relates to my paradigm and research question. I draw on research literature to highlight both the distinctive responsibilities of the researcher and the shared responsibilities of researchers and participants. At times I also describe my personal experience in the research process as the primary investigator. Ontology Constructivists make the ontological assumption that human reality is socially constructed and that our cultural contexts play a fundamental role in how we understand organizations, families, and social dynamics (Mir & Watson, 2001). Critical realism takes on a humble approach, emphasizing that humans can only gain a partial grasp on reality. This approach looks for markers of truth and understands that there is more than one way of doing things. Easton (2010) commented that critical realism “makes the ontological assumption that there is a reality but that it is usually difficult to apprehend” (p. 128). In this research study I am interested in describing the realities of couple relationships, and specifically, the realities that participants engage in. Dollahite et al. (2019) take a critical realist approach to qualitative research on couple relationships in communities reflecting differing faith backgrounds. They explore realities that different faith groups embody. The principle of generative devotion proposed by Dollahite and colleagues conveys a grounded TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 28 critical realist understanding of family relationships and highlights the realities and values of faith groups. Epistemology The nature of knowledge and data gathering is held between both the researcher and the participant and this allows the researcher to collect data in an interactive and personal way. In narrative inquiry researchers engage with the participant throughout the interviews by using guideline questions while inviting the participant to share what they feel is important about their reality (Clandinin et al., 2007; Polkinghorne, 2005). In this paradigm, values are made explicit and together the researcher and participants create findings through the data gathering in a collaborative process. In this research, knowledge was obtained through personal interviews that were between the researcher and participants. The interviews focused on bringing understanding to the spiritual well-being, emotional maturity, and marital quality of Christian couples through narrative inquiry. The assumption that is made in this paradigm is that both the researcher and participants reach deeper insights of lived experience through intense dialogue (Ponterotto, 2005). Additionally, critical realists strive to work collaboratively and use the interviews to listen to participants as they share stories of their experiences in life. Axiology Constructivists highlight the importance of what values researchers and participants hold throughout the research process (Ponterotto, 2005). One value that was emphasized in this project was to see each couple as a dyadic unit. This ethical value applied to my research project because the interviews were designed to emphasize the equality of men and women as they were interviewed together. This strategy highlighted that their voice as a relational unit was equally TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 29 important as their individual voices (see Bodenmann, 2008). Ponterotto (2005) noted that researchers should be aware of, acknowledge, and describe their values. He also said that researchers should be careful not to try to eliminate their values as it would be deceptive to believe that in such an interdependent interaction, value biases would not exist. Furthermore, critical realists hope that their research is influential, and they expect their personal biases to play a role in the outcome. See Appendix B to further understand my personal relationship with the research. Couples who participated in the present research were given the choice to share how they have encountered problems in their marriage and how they have dealt with conflict. Participants were invited to share their ways of knowing, views of reality, and valued commitments through narrative form. Detailed stories of lived experiences can provide whole worlds of insight, including stories from people who describe their experiences as the handiwork of God in their marriage. For marriage and family therapists, “many voices have come forth calling attention to the importance of bringing spirituality and religion into our conversations with clients” (Carlson et al., 2002, p. 157). In this approach, constructivists realize that people’s values and experiences cannot be separated from research results (Ponterotto, 2005). Methodology and Narrative Inquiry A methodology that fits with this paradigm is qualitative narrative inquiry, which is an effective approach to my research question. A person’s life experience is full of depth and detail and in order to even partially understand the scope of a couple’s journey, an opportunity is needed for each person to share their story in their own words. A narrative researcher’s aim is to understand meaning in personal experience by focusing on participants’ realities and their reactions to those realities (Loh, 2013). Through narrative inquiry the researcher can explore TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 30 how participants interpret their realities to find meaning in them. Polkinghorne (2007) stated that one of the best ways to understand human realities is to listen to the stories that people share to describe the meaning that they find in the events of life. I agree with Polkinghorne (2005) that questionnaires involving Likert scales tend to gather thin descriptions and fail to capture the entirety of human experience. A narrative researcher’s goal is to learn the interpretation of facts, not just the facts themselves (Loh, 2013). This paradigm fits well with qualitative research approaches as it allows for the research to deepen as the researcher seeks to understand human experience. Narrative inquiry is a wonderful form of data collection as participants engage in storytelling through an oral interview (Polkinghorne, 2007). Everyone has their own story that holds their life events and emotions. In narrative inquiry participants reflect on some aspects of life and attempt to share the meaning of those memories. In this research the goal is to generate an interpretation of the meaning that participants hold towards their marriage relationship by exploring the many layers of personal experience (Josselson & Lieblich, 2003). Method, Research Question, and Framework My constructivist paradigm includes critical realism which is a good fit for a narrative inquiry method. My personal theological perspectives can help me develop a deeper understanding of some Christian faith communities. Likewise, my worldview was a potential resource for this project and is further described in Appendix B. My familiarity could potentially also limit the capacity of this research for accurate observation and engagement with this specific community. Overall, by looking at an emic subgroup of Christians, I can help further academic and community understandings of developmental outcomes that are distinctive for this specific faith group as well as clarifying shared processes (cf. Ponterotto, 2005; Shichida et al., 2015). TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 31 Focusing on spiritual aspects helps to engage in deep, personal, meaningful, and relational conversation around such transformational topics in order to get a fuller picture of how some couples experience the fruits of generative devotion. Qualitative research, specifically narrative inquiry, allows for personal interviews that dig into the subjective lived experiences of people, capturing stories and creating meaning out of these events (Ponterotto, 2005). This process of formulating and sharing stories can, in turn, guide additional research into thicker descriptions of spiritual well-being, marital quality, and emotional maturity. I posed the following research question: how are your spiritual well-being, emotional maturity, and quality of marriage being transformed into generative devotion as a Christian couple? These are intimate topics for individuals and some couples may find it difficult to share how these aspects of life weave together for them in their marriage. Storytelling may be one helpful way that couples can communicate and describe the intricacies of their relationship. I proposed other versions of my research question to the participants: how are your spiritual growth, emotional maturity, and deep love for each other playing a part in your marriage? How do the fruits of devotion to Jesus show up in your life and relationships? From what the participants shared, the outcome of these domains coming together gave insight to what generative devotion can look like for some people in this subgroup of Christianity. My research project aimed to clarify meaningful patterns of generative devotion in an emic fashion for a Christian subgroup. This research can offer to support transferability and relevance to other groups understood emically, and to religious groups conceptualized etically. The benefit of engaging in personal, deep qualitative research can inform the larger community who also seek to strengthen marital relationships. Now that I have explained my paradigm and TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 32 method strategy, the next section describes the procedural discussions of how this research process practically took place. Participants In a pre-screening process, I invited participants to self-define background factors such as age, gender identity, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, education, as well as racial, ethnic, and cultural identities. See Appendix D for the background questionnaire. Ethically proactive approaches address diversity, and I gathered background information during recruitment so that as a researcher I could purposively select people from a variety of backgrounds. Each spouse was invited to participate as adherents to faith communities who share faith values and views on marriage, as outlined in Appendix C. The general inclusion criteria were as follows, with rationales provided below: 1. Both spouses speak English, self-defined as fluent. 2. Both spouses report having been married to one another for the past 10 years. 3. Each spouse indicates that they are at least 26 years old. 4. Both spouses describe themselves as devoted Christians and endorse Appendix C (Southland Church, 2011) as a good expression of their personal faith commitments and beliefs on marriage. Appendix C is a public statement by Southland Church, a nondenominational church that is influential in hundreds of Canadian churches as it has close ties with an organization called Church Renewal. 5. The couple describes that their marriage relationship has gone through stages of formation, maintenance, and transformation in the areas of spiritual well-being, emotional maturity, and sacrificial love. Their maturity promotes the concept of producing fruit (generative devotion) in their lives and relationships. Appendix E is a TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 33 scale that assesses relationship flourishing and may encourage a couple to reflect on, clarify, and describe their relational maturity. 6. Both spouses agree that they are each comfortable with discussing personal backgrounds and marriage relationship history. They describe themselves as having healed from past wounds to the point that difficult topics would not create excessive distress when they are discussed. The first inclusion criterion was that both members of the couple could speak English fluently because English is the only language that I know, and I conducted the interviews. The second inclusion criterion was that the couple had been married for at least 10 years. Ten years of marriage may provide enough time for a couple to establish a spiritual journey together, mature their emotional capacities, and strengthen their quality of marriage. The third criterion was that each individual was at least 26 years old. Canada’s federal Civil Marriage Act sets the minimum age for marriage at 16. Provinces, which administer the licensing, require parental consent for people younger than 18 years of age. After 10 years of marriage the youngest individual possible to meet the inclusion criteria would be 26 years old. Ten years of marriage was assumed to be an adequate time for couples to experience many phases of marital strengthening and persevering through both simple and difficult seasons of life. I accepted participants of all ages 26 and above, as maturity and wisdom were a feature that benefitted this research question. An effort was made to recruit married couples who have been together for varying lengths of time. Having a span of multiple generations among participants enriched my research results and facilitated analysis. The fifth inclusion criterion was that each spouse identified as supporting a specific Christian identity. The participants saw that their faith was a central part of their identity and was TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 34 critical to their life. Participants were asked to review Appendix C and attest that as a whole, it did a sufficient job of summarizing their beliefs around their Christian identity and the design of marriage. The sixth inclusion criterion was that the couple had gone through stages of formation, maintenance, and transformation in each area of spiritual well-being, emotional maturity, and marital quality. In this study I sought to recruit Christian couples from a specific community who could be described as mature in their faith, emotional patterns, and marriage relationship. Appendix E was used as a relationship flourishing scale to encourage couples to reflect on, clarify, and describe their relational maturity. The seventh inclusion criterion was that each spouse acknowledged that discussing personal background and marriage relationship history was comfortable for them to disclose without experiencing significant distress that would interfere with the research interview. This criterion alerted participants to the possibility of distress in the interview process to ensure that they could make an informed choice about their participation. Participants were at minimal risk. See Appendix D. The general exclusion criterion was as follows: 1. Spouses will be asked about any current problems in their current couple relationship that could interfere with open and honest participation within the research process. Unresolved difficulties in a couple relationship might create problems with maintaining honesty, openness, and depth of conversation during the interview. See Appendix D. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 35 The exclusion criterion above was to discourage couples who were struggling to function well in their marriage from participating in this project. The exclusion criterion was assessed through the background questionnaire, described in Appendix D. I interviewed nine couples who were interested in participating. Two of these couples met the preliminary screening criteria but were not chosen to be included in the data analysis. They showed in their interviews that they participated because they were curious and interested in the research focus, not because they perceived themselves as living out a mature Christian faith and/or experiencing satisfactory marital quality. These couples, along with the pilot couple who was interviewed, became key informants to this research project as their stories provided helpful insights into methods, procedures, and data analysis as they unfolded in this thesis. In my attempt to recruit participants from diverse racial and ethnic backgrounds, numerous couples from a variety of different backgrounds were interested in participating. Unfortunately, the couples who came from diverse ethnic and racial backgrounds were excluded for the following reasons: one couple did not meet the requirements for spiritual growth, one couple was too closely tied to the researcher, one couple did not get the paperwork filled out, and one couple did not meet the requirements for marital quality. Recruitment The recruitment was e-based, as required for much research during the COVID-19 pandemic. My recruitment strategy took place through a nomination process of 10 key informants and through self-nomination. The key informants were Canadian couples that I knew personally who were willing to support me in my research process. See Appendix F for the email that was sent to recruit key informant couples. A requirement to be a key informant was that at least one spouse was heavily involved in Christian ministry. I distributed to key informants an TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 36 online PDF poster (see Appendix G) and a welcoming e-mail (see Appendix H) that they could forward to nominated participant couples. I asked the key informants to each nominate five couples who they considered to be mature in their faith, marriage, and emotions. Key informants were asked to include couples of diverse factors such as different lengths of marriage relationships, racial, ethnic, and cultural backgrounds, ages, and socioeconomic status (see Appendix F). Once couples were nominated, the key informants forwarded the online PDF poster and participant e-mail to invite these couples to contact me if they felt inclined to participate in my study. Another strategy that I used for recruiting participants was through advertising on social medium platforms such as Facebook and Instagram in order to reach a broader audience. Some couples reached out to me through social media without initially being recruited, which strengthened the diversity of the participant pool. Volunteers who reached out to me (whether self-nominated or nominated by key informants) received a welcome e-mail (see Appendix I) that included instructions on how to fill out the background questionnaire (see Appendix D) and the consent form (see Appendix J). The background questionnaire included requirements for couples to go over the identity statement on faith and marriage (see Appendix C) and had them self-assess their relationship maturity using the relationship flourishing scale (see Appendix E). The background questionnaire was used to select participants. See Appendix D. As participants were selected, they were notified by e-mail. See Appendix K for the e-mail that was sent to notify selected participants. Ponterotto (2005) explained that the rhetoric of research is how a researcher uses language to present the operations and outcomes of research to the intended audience and this flows from their epistemological and axiological perspectives. From a constructivist and critical TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 37 realist framework, I clearly described my own experience, biases, values, and expectations that I had for the research in the recruitment e-mails, which were sent out from key informants. See Appendix F. That way, as an interactive researcher, the rhetoric of my research recruitment communications shared my motives with potential participants. In addition, saturation was identified when I had recruited enough participants. Saunders and colleagues (2018) described saturation as a point during data gathering when distinctive or novel features no longer emerge during the interviews. I identified saturation when distinctive features did not emerge from two couples, which marked the ending of the data collection process. Data Collection Procedures Collecting the Data By interviewing both spouses at the same time, I could grasp the subjective perception of the events from both individuals as they interacted with each other during the process of storytelling. In order to move past thin descriptions that just scratch the surface of life experience, two formal interactions took place with each couple. The first interaction with each couple was a personal and intensive interview that worked from the guideline questions over a timespan of approximately two hours. The second interaction was a follow-up meeting with the couple to seek clarification, confirm the accuracy of the data, and provide an opportunity for them to debrief about their interview experience. See Appendix L for the second interview script that included follow up and debriefing questions. Polkinghorne (2005) suggested that one interaction is usually not sufficient enough to allow the researcher to gather thick descriptions of the data and this was especially true for my research topic that explored three major areas of life: spirituality, emotions, and marriage. As I interviewed two people at the same time, I wanted to give them sufficient space to reflect on and articulate how to share their experiences. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 38 An important part of this procedure was about providing a safe place for participants to comfortably share vulnerable and personal memories of their relationship (Polkinghorne, 2005). The purpose of the interviews was to gain more information on what I, the researcher, have not yet considered or learned about the relationship between faith, marriage, and emotional patterns. I asked the participants to place more emphasis on the meaning behind their experiences compared to the exact details of what happened (Polkinghorne, 2005). The data was collected over the online Zoom platform, which met the ethical requirements of the Human Research Ethics Board of Trinity Western University for minimal risk research. I recorded the interviews over Zoom. According to university policy, I saved the data through temporary cloud storage and then deleted it within 10 days of the interview. This provided sufficient time to secure the data on my own personal hard drive. Two levels of security that I followed included that (a) my computer was password protected and that (b) I would encrypt the data on my personal hard drive where the data was kept. Guideline Questions I had a flexible outline of questions that I used to refocus the conversation with participants when it wandered from relevant topics. See Appendix M for interview guideline questions. These questions were semi-structured to fit a story-telling framework as it aligned with narrative inquiry. I collected the data from the participants as I invited them to tell me their stories of marriage, spirituality, and emotional patterns (Creswell et al., 2007). It was important to remember the research question: how are your spiritual growth, emotional maturity, and deep love for each other playing a part in your marriage? How do the fruits of devotion to Jesus show up in your life and relationships? TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 39 I conducted one pilot interview before I started the official research process. In order to gain experience as a researcher and gain familiarity with the questions of my study, this took place with a couple who volunteered to assist me in my learning process. After the pilot interview occurred, I was able to assess how the interview protocol could be refined. This included editing the outline for the interview, clarifying how to advertise the study, changing wording, and improving in researcher skills. Another aspect of collecting data was observation that supplemented discussion. Polkinghorne (2005) noted that clarification can be obtained through observing how the participants express themselves nonverbally through behaviours and facial expressions, gestures, clothing, and body language. I documented observational notes in written form immediately following each interview. Analysis Processes I transcribed the data along with two research assistants so I could commit to comprehending and immersing myself in the material. That way, I gained more familiarity with the data and it allowed me to code more effectively because transcribing the data was an interactive process of intense listening, analyzing, and interpreting (Hesse-Biber & Leavy, 2006). In this research project, I used thematic analysis to analyze the data. Thematic analysis is a way of focusing on the meaning of what is being said rather than focusing on how the story is told. The thematic analysis strategy fits with my research question as it helped me pull out the main relational themes that foster generative devotion across married couples from this Christian subgroup. The purpose of finding and defining themes for these Christian couples who have experienced transformation in their marriage was to inform emic, etic, and outsider readers who are interested in the processes of spiritual growth, emotional maturity, and marital quality. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 40 In the interview process, each couple was presented with the opportunity to use their voice to put meaning to what they have experienced as they shared their marriage stories (Connelly & Clandinin, 1990). Both the participant and the researcher had the opportunity to learn from the collaborative relationship that was built throughout the research process. Braun and Clarke (2006) stated that as thematic analysis is done, it is not a linear process, but instead, a recursive strategy as the researcher goes back and forth throughout the data to interpret the meaning of what was shared. Braun and Clarke (2006) listed numerous processes of thematic analysis, which I used to analyze the interviews. Two research assistants joined me in this process. Phase one was where we familiarized ourselves with the data, transcribed it, and read it over and over as we jotted down the central ideas found within the narrative. In phase two we generated initial codes across the entire set of data and found interesting features that pertained in a systemic fashion throughout the data. Phase three was where we searched for themes by gathering all the data that was relevant to the particular theme or group. In phase four I reviewed the themes and checked if participants recognized the story summaries as an accurate description of their experience. Phase five was where I defined and named the themes. I gave clear definitions for each theme and provided an ongoing analysis to bring refinement upon the themes and general story. In the final phase I summarized the results. We transcribed, coded, brought out themes, and provided definitions of themes. I recruited and trained two partners who assisted me in the previous steps listed above, particularly in transcribing, coding, and creating story summaries to gain clarification and accuracy of the data. In addition, research journaling occurred throughout the entire thesis process and was used appropriately. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 41 Rigour and Quality To attend to the quality of this study, there are numerous research strategies that I took to strengthen credibility, transferability, dependability, and confirmability (Finlay, 2006). In the following sections I describe what measures I took to facilitate these important areas that increased the rigour of my study. Credibility I engaged in member checking as I sought verification from the participants to confirm that the theme descriptions were recognized as accurate information. After I interviewed a couple and organized their data in chronological order, I drafted a story summary that I sent to the couple by e-mail. This was done before the second interaction so that the couple could have time to reflect on and refine their story together. They were also asked to edit, clarify, add, and revise any details to enhance the accuracy. Couples were asked to address any concerns in the last formal meeting that we shared together. See Appendix L for the second interview script. This added to the quality of the research because couples not only confirmed each other’s stories during the first interview but also validated the stories after the interview to clarify that the collected data was accurate. In interviewing couples, it was apparent that there were differences, distinctions, and discrepancies between participants as every marriage was unique. Generative devotion was evident in many different ways for these couples in their marriage relationships, and I made an effort to look not only for the main themes that emerged throughout the analysis but also for the varied fruits of generative devotion. I engaged in peer validation from two peers that were familiar with the literature review and they offered feedback on my analysis. This allowed for a fuller understanding of the research and kept my bias in check as other researchers examined the work (Loh, 2013). I conducted a TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 42 triangulation review by comparing findings to previous results and other sources to examine patterns of consistency, distinctiveness, and diversity of theme patterns (Finlay, 2006). I also engaged in progressive subjectivity, which is where I kept track of my own developing construal of the research process and results, from beginning to end. Transferability I engaged in measures to create opportunity for transferability, to invite the readers into a process of judging how they could extend the findings to other people and contexts. This included the approach that I took to address emic, etic, and outsider language throughout this thesis. I provided thick description of contexts and cultures that the participants adhere to so that the readers can compare the research to their own lives. I attempted to interview multiple couples of diverse backgrounds to strengthen the external validity of the results. I recruited couples who had been married for varying lengths of time. Given that principles of generative devotion are applicable to a wide variety of diverse faith and worldview communities, a range of differing age, socioeconomic, educational, ethnic, racial, and cultural factors were sought. For the sake of researching a specific faith group, couples who saw Appendix C as an accurate description of their beliefs around faith and marriage were the focus of the study. Throughout the recruitment process, I paid attention to possible social barriers of diversity as I committed to building external validity. I recruited participants through a nomination process of asking eight couples who were involved in Christian ministry settings all throughout Canada to each recommend five couples who they thought would be interested in participating in my research. In the nomination process I asked key informants to strongly TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 43 consider couples of diverse cultural and racial backgrounds so that these factors could be taken into account. Dependability and Confirmability Both spouses participated in the interview together and as they recalled memories and worked off each other’s stories and accounts, this deepened and enhanced the information that they shared. This interviewing strategy also highlighted that the collaborative voice of a couple was equally important as their own individual voices. I believe that resonance and relevance are important pieces to the research. Finlay (2006) suggested that qualitative research includes five further dimensions to consider. The research should make sense and have clarity and the research needs to have credibility. My research question makes a strong contribution to the aspects of spirituality and offers guidance for future therapeutic measures to facilitate change in marriages for the better. I wanted to demonstrate communicative resonance with the wider academic community to confirm that the findings were sufficiently understandable and powerful for the reader. At the same time, I wanted to carry a deep sense of care for the participants who engaged in this study. I personally fostered care by empathically engaging with participants as they shared their stories. I wanted the climate of the room to feel warm, welcoming, and safe as I strived to have a researcher-participant relationship that was genuine and authentic. I documented these processes as I journaled about what the relationship dynamic was like with each couple and I also checked in with each spouse throughout the interviews to make sure that they felt safe and welcomed. Murray (2003) stated that reflexivity entails that the researcher is aware of the role that they play in how they shape the story in the narrative. The researcher may carry certain expectations for the interview and these expectations could either persuade or prohibit the TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 44 participant’s responses. As this was a narrative research process, I documented my personal reflections regarding the impact that the research had on me (Spencer et al., 2003). I also made an effort to strengthen intellectual virtue in being open-minded towards what the participants shared as it related to their perspectives and practices that involved faith and family life (see Spiegel, 2014). The two volunteer couples who were selected as key informants provided the research team with insights that helped strengthen the credibility of this research. Their voices spoke to less mature phases of development in faith and marriage when compared to the seven couples who were identified as fitting criteria for inclusion in the data set. These couples provided stories and descriptions that gave voice to relatively early phases of marriage where they experienced growth and described some of the struggles that emerged in their relationship and faith journey. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 45 CHAPTER 4: FINDINGS Overview of Emic Patterns in the Findings In reading the findings it is helpful to keep in mind that these themes are a product of what 20, 30, 40, and 50 years of marriage can look like when both spouses are committed to growing through the trials of life and relationships. As you read through the emic formulations that emerged from the participant’s stories, please consider that these couples have not always experienced a steady climb of moving forward. In many cases, there were times when they felt like they were moving backwards instead. Yet, along the marital journey it may be the case that couples can move forwards and backwards at the same time and still create a meaningful, fruitful marriage, which can be recognized in this community as glorifying God. Relational growth as lived out in this specific community seems to require moments of challenge in order to develop something deeper as a couple. It is critical for all readers to keep hold of the reminder that these theme descriptions are formulated to inspire couples towards areas of growth. Couples shared about the journey of cultivating a deeper relationship not only with each other but also with God. They described the practical ways of how they invite God into the everyday moments of life and the meaning that this holds for them as a couple. Couples from this emic community described how God has taken their marriage to sacred depths. In these couples’ understanding of Jesus’ love, their faith has changed their perspective on what love really means. This understanding of love has continued to change the ways that couples foster relational flourishing as they integrate their faith and family life. Couples also shared that for them, being married means growing in love, and growing in love as a couple leads them to growing closer to God. Listed in Table 2 is a brief overview that provides background information on the couples TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 46 who were interviewed for this study. Each spouse’s name has been changed in this document to respect limits of confidentiality. Table 2 Participant Background Information Participant Background Information Husband’s Name Aaron Wife’s Name Melissa Number of Years Married 15-20 Cultural and Faith Background Socioeconomic Status 4th Gen Canadian; Christian Middle-Class 1st Gen Christian; Became Christians after 10 years of marriage Robert Diana 25-30 Middle-Class Gerald Sadie 25-30 Anabaptist; European Mennonite Middle-Class Philip Joy 30-35 Mennonite Brethren; Dutch Heritage Middle-Class Stefan Sara 30-35 Former Mennonite Brethren, now Non-denominational; Dutch Heritage Upper MiddleClass Lucas Tia 35-40 Former Mainline, now Evangelical Upper MiddleClass Jack Olivia 50-55 Involved with Para-Church Ministry Middle-Class Salient Features of the Emic Patterns To understand how the thirteen themes fit together, I identified four salient features that act as a relational compass (see Figure 3). The four salient features of foundation, oneness, depth, and growth serve as a conceptual map to indicate how the 13 themes from this research fit together. For these couples, the foundation is what holds their marriage in place, as it serves as an unshakable ground that supports them. The depth speaks to the journey that develops after TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 47 years of learning how to love each other and cultivating connection. Growth comes from a place of yearning to strengthen their relationship and journey through trials in a way that brings them closer together. Oneness is formed for these couples as they merge lives and bond emotionally, sexually, spiritually, physically, and relationally. The framework presented in Figure 3 represents a relational compass of how the salient features fit together to describe the motivations behind the themes. Figure 3 The Four Salient Features The Four Salient Features In reading through the theme descriptions below, readers are invited to look for the ways that spouses have been intentional to foster generative devotion in their marriages. For couples in this faith community, they have made a point to invite God into their adventure of marriage. It is my hope that as you read through the findings, you will gain further understanding of how these couples have together experienced growth in their spiritual journey, emotional maturity, and marital quality as a result of their personal relationship with Jesus Christ. The themes are TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 48 described in the next sections of this chapter. At the end of this chapter, in Figure 4, the relational compass is combined with a visual of objects that represent the themes. The following findings include thirteen themes that emerged from the couples who shared their stories of how they have experienced growth throughout their relationship. For each of the thirteen themes I describe three practical ways that couples from this community have experienced each theme. These further descriptions are recognized as subthemes and are meant to depict the different ways that the themes are fleshed out in these marriages. There are three different types of subthemes: quotes, description of actions, and summary of implicit meanings. Each subtheme is described in the way that seemed most effective to communicate the heart of what was being shared from participants in this study. In reading the findings below, readers are invited to recognize that themes are bolded and numbered. Subthemes are listed underneath each theme and are marked as bolded. Shared Themes (1) BECOMING MORE, TOGETHER Couples shared how their marriage has gifted them the opportunity to become more, together, as they grow both personally and relationally. One couple’s experience included adapting to each other by expanding interests and broadening perspectives as they learned to do life together. Another couple described how they work to challenge, support, and change for the better as spouses. Another couple explained how they have merged lives together by attuning themselves to each other and to God. They have experienced a rich spiritual life as God has worked in their marriage to equip them as teammates. Differences as a Strength o Action: Gerald and Sadie shared that through marriage they have learned to make space for one another’s dreams and passions. They have tried more things, stepped out of their comfort zones, and expanded their interests as they have showed up to join their spouse in whatever they enjoy doing. They have also gained new perspectives on life as they learn from each other’s thought processes. They shared that together, they have broadened and changed their outlook on life for the better. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 49 Bettering Themselves and their Marriage o Implicit Meaning: Robert and Diana shared that their marriage started off as good, but when they gave their lives to Jesus their marriage got so much better. Their marriage now feels a deep-rooted sense of being grounded in God’s love and care. They encourage each other to grow in their weaknesses and as a result, their marriage benefits and only gets better over the years. This has been a process of gentle refinement as both individuals take responsibility for their blind spots and accept that there may be areas in their lives that need attention. It is a process of becoming more than what they started out to be as they journey through freedom with the Holy Spirit. Not only has their love deepened for each other, but their understanding of real love has also become more meaningful as they experience the love of Jesus. Merging Lives through Sanctification o Quote: Olivia: “This whole thing of how the Holy Spirit relates in our marriage. . . I usually wake up in the morning and I begin processing something. God brings something to mind - it's not a vision, but I start processing. I said to Jack, I think that God was showing me something this morning. I mentioned it to Jack, then he starts thinking about it this morning”. Jack: “And then I got up and shaved and got coffee and began devotions and just like that my pen began to write like crazy. . . all of a sudden from Olivia's little nudge by the Spirit, then, as I wrote, all of a sudden I had remarkable clarity”. Jack: “So that's definitely over and over and over again how the Holy Spirit has worked in our marriage. One of us, not always me, but one of us will say something. The other one tunes in and begins to pray into it. And it develops into something”. (2) NURTURING A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS Many couples shared that a personal relationship with Jesus is critical to having a Christcentred marriage. Some spouses explained that they find security in the unshakeable love of Jesus because they know they are loved and valued by God. Couples have recognized that they need to support each other spiritually and help create time for the other person to engage with God. One spouse shared how his love for his wife is dependent upon his intimacy with Christ as he gains deeper revelation of the essence of God’s love. Identity as a Child of God o Implicit Meaning: Instead of relying on a human relationship for stability, identity, and security, these spouses are relying on God who is stable, consistent, constant, and loves unconditionally. When rough spots in marriage come, the relationship’s security is still grounded because they are spiritually grounded in who they are as people. Tia described how she used to depend on her husband’s TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 50 emotional stability to feel stable. Yet, she found that she was a much more effective wife when she found her worth in God, rather than in humanity. Gerald shared that his identity comes from his security in Jesus – he feels significant and finds joy in the fact that God delights in him. As he has immersed himself in this perspective, it has changed him internally. When Gerald is able to come from a secure place, he can be more mature with his wife. Supporting Your Spouse o Action: Philip and Joy shared that it is important to give your spouse space and freedom to pursue Christ in the way that they connect best with Him. Instead of expecting each other to engage in specific spiritual practices, it was more effective for Philip and Joy to encourage one another in ways that were most meaningful for them as they spent time with God. Robert shared that “I think because we are for each other and for each other’s spiritual growth, we will make space for that in our calendars, in our lives, in our relationships, so that she can get the time that she needs . . . so maybe I pick up the slack on something that helps to create some of that time and then Diana does the same for me”. Getting God’s Heart o Quote: “When I’m close to Jesus, I have incredible desire to love who is around me. His love fills me. I am never better at loving Tia than when I'm experiencing the love of God, love through Jesus. Without loving, without experiencing, without having God's love present in me. I'm just as a sounding gong. It may sound good, it may look good, but it's not real. . . by being intimate with Jesus, it allows me to see Tia as Jesus sees Tia. And when Jesus sees Tia, of course, He sees her as His precious daughter who He died for. And when I have the love of Jesus in me, that’s the love I have for Tia. . . So, to me, being able to love your wife is dependent upon intimacy with Jesus, and knowing how much he loves you, and your partner”. – Lucas (3) INVITING GOD INTO MARRIAGE Couples shared that as they invite God into marriage, they feel closer to one another as they both serve the same living God. Prayer is one way that couples have engaged with the Holy Spirit, which can take on many different forms. Some couples described how meaningful it is to listen to the Holy Spirit together and share with one another what they sense the Lord is saying. Other couples shared how they foster a spiritual connection through reading Scripture and other spiritual books as they continue to pursue Christ in their daily lives in whatever ways are most connecting. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 51 Prayer as a Uniting Element o Action: All of the couples shared how praying together has kept their marriage strong. Stefan and Sara brought their marital hurts before the Lord and asked him to reveal the lies that those experiences had led them to believe, and then asked the Holy Spirit to speak truth and bring healing. They described this to be a powerful, meaningful, and sacred time as they prayed for one another and received inner healing from the Holy Spirit. Jack and Olivia described how they go for long walks to pray together and listen to what the Holy Spirit wants to share with them. When they would sit down at a restaurant, they were still tuned in to what Jesus was speaking into their minds – it was like He was sitting down at the table with them. Philip and Joy shared that it’s important for them to yield and surrender to God through prayer as they wait for the Holy Spirit to speak, guide, and lead them in all areas of life. Sharing the Experience of God’s Presence o Quote: “We were answering a question a few weeks ago about what God loves about us and we had to write down what we received. Then we shared it with each other. That was such a powerful moment of spiritual intimacy for me with God. I think Tia had tears, and to just have shared that together with God, and (Him saying) ‘this is what I love about you guys’ is beautiful”. – Lucas Being Intentional to Grow Together o Implicit Meaning: Some couples described how they attend to their spiritual growth throughout the different seasons of life. Gerald and Sadie shared that when they had babies, Gerald would write out Bible verses and stick them around the house as they spent time caring for a newborn. As their spiritual journey has progressed, they connect spiritually through praying together, reading the Bible, reading spiritual books, and engaging in family devotions. This couple has truly made Jesus a priority no matter how busy or chaotic their lives were. They have been intentional to engage with God as a couple as they have invested in their spiritual growth together. (4) EMBRACING CONFLICT AS OPPORTUNITY There are numerous effective ways that couples have approached conflict in their marriage. Some couples described how they take time to respond to their spouse instead of reacting in the moment, which requires humility and having a teachable heart. One couple tries to have a long-term perspective that outweighs the emotions of the moment. Other couples described specific actions they take when conflict comes up so that they can honour their marriage and work to understand one another amidst the tension. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 52 Long-Term Perspective o Quote: “When you’re driving a car, they tell you not to just look at the hood of the car, they tell you to look 10-12 seconds ahead. It’s best to look a little further ahead, so maybe that’s also in life and in relationships. Like right now, I maybe don’t feel like (loving him) – but you look ahead to where you want to be and who you want to be. I don’t want to be the kind of person who is difficult to live with or who is selfish, so I do the next right thing with that in mind. Putting the feelings of today on a shelf – feelings come and go. But looking ahead and making the decision for that instead”. – Sadie Having a Humble Heart o Implicit Meaning: Philip described that there is a deeper meaning when Joy calls him out on something. His initial reaction is to push back but instead he decides to reflect on the love they have because it helps him respond in a way that accepts her influence. These are moments where pride is laid down and a humble, teachable attitude is adopted. Understanding the other person’s point of view is more helpful than trying to defend yourself. As Philip and Joy have grown their capacity to hold tension, they are able to move forward as they take the time to reflect and connect in ways that bring them closer together. Honouring Conflict o Jack and Olivia have made a point throughout their marriage that when a conflict comes up, they go out for coffee to discuss it. By going out to talk, they make a point of honouring that this is something important for them to navigate. Robert and Diana described that when tension comes up in their marriage, they sit down at the table, but on the same side to remind themselves that they are on the same team, working against the problem together. Philip and Joy said it takes emotional maturity to not discuss conflicts when they are hungry or tired. (5) FOSTERING EMOTIONAL HARMONY Both husbands and wives shared about the value in being emotionally aware. One husband expressed that as he learned to understand his own emotions, he could communicate them more effectively. Another couple explained how they have dealt with difficult things by being slow to speak, slow to get angry, and quick to listen. Some participants shared that they process their emotions first with God before sharing with their spouse. Understanding Emotions o Quote: “I've worked to understand my own emotions, so that I can communicate them better. Because I had emotions, but I really wasn't good at talking about them. I couldn't even understand my own emotions, which is why I couldn't talk about emotions. I didn't know how to articulate how I was feeling”. – Robert TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 53 Emulating Christ o Action: Melissa described how Aaron has been very intentional to talk about issues in a calm manner, never raising his voice with her. This has greatly influenced her as he has adopted principles from the Bible and applied them to how he treats her with his actions and words. He is slow to speak, slow to anger, and quick to listen. They desire to emulate Christ in their marriage as they choose love, forgiveness, and integrity. Processing Things with God o Implicit Meaning: Some spouses explained that when they feel as though they are getting emotionally dysregulated, they recognize that it is time to take a break. Sadie shared that before she shares her feelings with her husband, she will first process them with God and gain His perspective. Diana shared that when she needs to deescalate her emotional intensity, she goes for a prayer walk with God and asks Him to change her heart and perspective on the situation. Sara explained that when she feels upset with her husband, she will pray and mindfully review the standing stones of their relationship and reflect on the reasons why she married her husband, what she loves about him, and how he has made her a better person. These spouses have been intentional to process their feelings with God as they invite Him to speak into their situations that feel charged with emotion. (6) CULTIVATING A RICH FRIENDSHIP Couples described the importance of building a firm foundation of friendship in marriage. One wife explained that when things get bumpy, she feels safe enough to talk about the bumps because of the strong friendship and trust that they have established throughout marriage. Another couple shared how engaging in fun activities brought excitement and created meaningful, fun memories. One couple found that coming together as a team, as best friends, is beneficial for their marriage as they consistently show up for each other in love. Framework of Safety and Trust o Quote: “I think if I have to pick one thing that I love most about Gerald it would be his gentle, godly spirit because that has allowed me to feel safe and to build trust so that I can feel free to share anything. It builds a foundation of friendship. I think that that’s crucial to be there so that when there are the bumps, that you have a framework to feel safe enough to talk about the bumps”. – Sadie Creating Meaningful, Fun Memories o Action: Lucas and Tia prioritized having fun together, both as a couple and with their kids. They would plan fun events every week that they could look forward to. They valued having a variety of different experiences, so as a family they TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 54 engaged in karate lessons, downhill skiing, swimming, and participated in building projects together. They also took care of lots of different pets, such as horses, bunnies, iguanas, and geckos. Coming Together as a Team o Implicit Meaning: Philip and Joy described how they are best friends and love spending time with each other. They see themselves as a team, ready to conquer anything together. They make sure to ask each other questions like: What do you need from me? How can I encourage you? How can I support you best right now? When they work together as a team, they feel strengthened and connected as a couple. They are eager to help one another and are quick to ask intentional questions, willing to serve the other. (7) FINDING MEANINGFUL POINTS OF CONNECTION Couples shared a variety of meaningful ways to maintain connection in their relationship. One couple texts each other throughout the day, which rekindles sparks of affection and feelings of closeness to each other. Many couples described the importance of dating throughout their entire married lives, prioritizing alone time with each other that is special or meaningful. Other couples shared how everyday debriefing times have created a space where they can connect together and stay updated with each other’s lives. Keeping in Touch o Quote: “We would try and stay in contact with each other if we're apart through texts and affection and checking in . . . It’s throughout the day and I think that that's brought us closer and kept some fun in our physical relationship”. – Robert Dating Throughout Marriage o Action: Couples discussed the importance of dating all throughout their marriage. When money was tight, Stefan and Sara would go for a walk or a drive, and sometimes grab an ice cream cone. What really mattered was that they were together, having heart-to-heart conversations. Because they have dated their whole life, they never felt like they needed to rekindle their relational spark. Jack and Olivia love going for early morning breakfasts. They will often walk together to make time to talk, plan, and pray with each other. Debriefing the Day o Implicit Meaning: Couples who didn’t work together described how every day they would take time to debrief with each other so that they could get insight into what the other’s day looked like. These daily routines of twenty-minute debriefing times kept couples on the same page with each other and allowed them to feel seen and heard by their spouse. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 55 (8) LOVING SACRIFICIALLY, UNCONDITIONALLY, AND EFFECTIVELY Couples shared how sacrificial love has been foundational to their marriage. Some couples described that love is a choice; they have made a decision to love when it is difficult to love, without expecting anything in return – because that is the kind of love they have received from God. Another couple shared how it is important to understand how their spouse receives love so they can love one another effectively, even in the tougher moments of marriage. A Revelation of Love o Implicit Meaning: Couples shared that it is meaningful to show their spouse love when they seem unlovable. Aaron said that the best way to do this is with the help of Jesus, to emulate Christ and die to self. He described that by responding to your spouse with unconditional love, you are exemplifying what is at the core of the Gospel. Jesus loved us in the midst of our sin and gave up His life for us. Diana described that Jesus was the best at showing love to someone when they were at fault. Loving sacrificially in marriage can reflect the deep love that God has for us. Love is a Choice o Quote: “There's no such thing as falling out of love. Yeah you fall out of choosing to love. That might be your choice to not love anymore, but it's like we said here, it's a choice. Everything in life is a choice. Choosing joy, choosing forgiveness, choosing the other above ourselves, choosing God first”. – Aaron Knowing Your Spouse’s Love Language o Action: Philip shared that over the years he has been a “student” of Joy, studying her as they have grown together, understanding how to love her best. He has taken note of what makes her feel most loved, so that when he does not feel like loving her, he knows what actions to take regardless of the feelings that get in the way. By learning the specific actions that make Joy feel loved, he can love her effectively in both the joy-filled and low moments of marriage. (9) SHARING A SACRED BOND THROUGH SEXUAL INTIMACY Most couples’ experience of sexual intimacy has been a vital element of their marriage relationship. Numerous couples described how after they engage in sex, they experience a closeness with each other that can last for days. This closeness not only connects them but also brings trust and confidence. Couples explained how their sexual relationship has brought a unique, sacred bond between them as husband and wife. One couple explained how sex is both an expression of love and an action that deepens their love, which builds into something profound over the years. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 56 Brings a Closeness o Action: Many couples shared how sexual intimacy creates a closeness between them that lasts for numerous days. This closeness comes as a result of being loved through vulnerability, experiences of pleasure, sharing a physical and emotional connection, and ultimately, building trust and confidence with each other. Stefan and Sara shared that at times their moments of sexual intimacy are so meaningful that they share tears together afterwards, which also strengthens their marital bond. Unique, Sacred Bond as Husband and Wife o Quote: “It's something that God has designed specifically, we believe, for husband and wife in that if you truly believe that and follow that, then I think that brings a togetherness between husband and wife that's not possible in any other relationship”. – Robert An Expression and Deepening of Love o Implicit Meaning: Philip and Joy shared that sex is an expression of the love they have for each other and that it also deepens their love for one another. Even in times when they were busy or exhausted, engaging sexually has built something incredibly deep and meaningful between them over the last thirty years. This comes with a sense of prioritizing the other’s desires, knowing that they need each other, and carries elements of sacrificial love in choosing to engage romantically time and time again. (10) FINETUNING THEIR MARITAL HEALTH Couples described how they intentionally seek marital growth by finetuning the health of their relationship. One couple shared that they have monthly check-ins where they discuss how they are doing in numerous areas of their marriage. They work to notice their accomplishments and encourage one another in the areas where they are lacking. Other couples shared that seeing a counsellor or marriage mentors has been nutritional for their relationship. Some couples shared about going through a refining process as they are intentional about confessing their sins to both each other and to God as they seek the path of repentance, to change for the better and experience freedom from sin. Monthly Check-Ins o Quote: “We do our check ins, where we just talk about whatever is pertinent at the time. There's relational, spiritual, physical, and emotional, and so we have those four areas that we just check in with each other and share how we're struggling or how we're excelling and what we may need help with, or what we need to work on”. – Diana TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 57 Seeking Out and Submitting to Counsel o Action: Aaron and Melissa shared how they will seek out professional help from a counsellor on occasion, which contributes to their personal growth and marital health. Gerald and Sadie described the significance of having mentors who have encouraged them over the years through their journey of life and marriage. Pursuing Purity, Holiness, and Repentance o Implicit Meaning: Some couples shared how their sin was holding them back from experiencing the fullness of marriage. Jack shared how the Holy Spirit brought it to his attention that if he did not bring his feelings of anger and bitterness before God, his marriage would not survive. He said that sin is at the heart of what breaks relationships, and when spouses confess and repent from their sin, they are giving themselves a better chance at having a successful marriage that not only lasts, but thrives, and brings glory to God. Couples described their experiences of admitting their faults to one another, and the vital importance of asking for forgiveness and receiving it from the other, just as Jesus shows them forgiveness from their sin, as he died on the cross. (11) ENJOYING TIMES OF REST AND REJUVENATION Many couples described the refreshment that comes from taking time to rest and enjoy life. One couple who is in early stages of retirement described how slowing down has brought richness to their life. Another couple shared how celebrating their relationship many times throughout the year has brought a rejuvenating spark to their relationship. Another couple shared how taking time for self-care has been beneficial both personally and relationally. Slowing Down o Implicit Meaning: Lucas and Tia, who have retired, shared that earlier in their life their schedules were completely packed, but now their life is an enjoyable pace. Now they get up, exercise, have devotions, and feel much fulfillment. They shared that they wish they would have come to this place sooner as they are tasting how amazing it is now. Now that work and childcare are taken out of the mix, they see how important it is to slow down and prioritize their spiritual journey together as a couple. Lucas also spoke about how they would take numerous weeks off in the summer to vacation as a family. These fun family times were so rejuvenating for them, and they feel that it is so important to prioritize having lots of fun in marriage. Celebrating Marriage Moments o Action: Robert and Diana find reasons to celebrate their marriage. They believe that it is part of the fun – to highlight and celebrate key moments and what they have been doing well in. These include anniversaries, their first kiss, birthdays, TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 58 their first date . . . and they make a point to cherish one another throughout the milestones of life. Engaging in Self-Care o Quote: “I think, by having a balanced look on both (sacrificial love and self-care). Like for me, I love reading my book, or sitting and playing a game, I need quiet time. That's how I recharge my batteries. Stefan gets his batteries recharged by being around lots of people. So being out with people is important to him, so my sacrifice would be having people over. Sometimes this is my sacrifice so that Stefan can have his batteries recharged. . . Okay, self-care I think, is huge. It’s important because if you don't take care of yourself sooner or later, you're going to burn out. You have to know how to take care of yourself. It's like putting your mask on in an airplane so you can help someone else”. - Sara (12) LEAVING A LEGACY Some couples spoke about their desire to leave a legacy as a married couple. Some spouses described how they prioritize the demands of life. Other couples shared how they want to influence future generations and impact others in a meaningful way. A few couples shared how they have decided to redefine what is important to them in life, as they have learned to focus less on the petty things and put more focus towards what really matters. Setting Priorities in Life o Quote: “We will be intentional with our marriage, and then the next circle out is our children, they will be our priority, and then beyond that is the wider circle which would include extended family and church family, and then beyond that, strangers and the world”. – Sadie Influence Future Generations o Action: Some couples shared how they find meaning as they desire to influence future generations towards godliness and knowing Jesus. Stefan and Sara have started a tradition where they ask the Holy Spirit for words of encouragement that they pray over each of their children and grandchildren on their birthdays. Jack and Olivia spend time in prayer asking the Holy Spirit where He wants them to have their greatest influence. These couples are focused on raising the next generation to love God and have spiritual strength. Redefining What’s Important o Implicit Meaning: Jack and Olivia described that after a horrible car accident, God took them on a journey to redefine what is important in life. They came to the conclusion that the petty things they used to argue about were completely TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 59 unimportant and they became much more concerned about what really mattered. Stefan and Sara shared how every day is a gift and they have to choose how they will live it. As they keep encountering life’s unpredictable twists and turns, they have gained more perspective in knowing what is and what is not important. These couples have found that the internal heart posture holds much more weight than what people see on an external level. They see that their relationship with God and with one another holds more meaning than anything else in life. (13) HEARING THE HEART Couples shared that openness and transparency have led to a deepening and enriching of their marriage. One couple shared how talking about the hard things is part of marriage and their level of vulnerability has an impact on their relationship. Another couple spoke about embracing transparency and described how the Holy Spirit has blessed them as they have matured through discussing the difficult topics. One couple described how talking, sharing, and listening has enhanced their communication as they have mutual respect for each other and feel heard by one another. Vulnerability as Strength o Quote: “You have to be willing to not just talk about comfortable things, but you have to be willing to talk about other things too. Things that are uncomfortable or hard. I think the degree to which you are willing to be vulnerable to each other is sort of equal to the depth of your marriage relationship often”. – Sadie Embracing Transparency o Action: Lucas shared how at first it was really challenging for him to be open and transparent with Tia when he was feeling upset. Overtime as he warmed up to the idea of being honest, real, and vulnerable, he saw that it was the most wonderful thing. He saw that when a marriage carries openness and transparency it allows the Holy Spirit to do more work in them. When they can be authentic with each other as husband and wife, they can see more of who the other person is on a deeper level. Connecting at the Core o Implicit Meaning: Some couples found it meaningful to share their innermost thoughts with their spouse, knowing that there was a deep foundation of trust that created safety to open up. To have their thoughts respected, honoured, and accepted only has invited more connection between them. Jack and Olivia described that after having their individual devotions they always share with each other what they received from God. As they share with one another, they love hearing each other’s heart. It is like taking binoculars and seeing what is at the core of them, what is going on deep down in their soul as they connect with God. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 60 Themes in the Overall Pattern The 13 shared themes that emerged from this research project can connect to each other in a mutually clarifying pattern. Each of these themes can be described by an object in Figure 4 to help readers visualize how the themes can fit together in a way that is easy to remember and understand. The meanings behind the objects are acknowledged in Table 3. Figure 4 Themes Embodied in a Physical Space Themes Embodied in a Physical Space Table 3 now describes the theme titles, the objects that represent those themes, the meanings behind the objects, and the salient features that represent the larger picture that are later shown in Figure 5. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES Table 3 Connections Between Themes, Salient Features, Objects, and Meanings Connections Between Themes, Salient Features, Objects, and Meanings Theme Number Theme Title 1 Becoming More, Together 2 Salient Feature Object Represented Meaning Oneness Mirror A symbol of how a couple could look into a mirror and see their reflection, to ponder who they could become together Nurturing a Personal Relationship with Jesus Foundation Two candles A representation of two individual candles that each have a flame burning, showing the significance of both spouses nurturing their own relationship with God 3 Inviting God into Marriage Foundation Envelope A symbol that serves as an invitation to God, to be a part of the marriage 4 Embracing Conflict as Opportunity Growth Cactus A symbol of how conflict can feel like an uncomfortable poke, yet at the same time it is beautiful, and it represents that there may be room to grow 5 Fostering Emotional Harmony Growth Guitar A symbol of harmony as couples grow to become emotionally attuned to one another 6 Cultivating a Rich Friendship Depth Flower A representation that a friendship has blossomed, as the soil has been cultivated with water and sunlight, giving deep roots 7 Finding Meaningful Points of Connection Depth Two coffee cups A symbol of how couples come together to connect both throughout the day and on special dates for their one-onone time with each other 61 TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES Theme Number Theme Title Salient Feature Object Represented 62 Meaning 8 Loving Sacrificially, Unconditionally, and Effectively Oneness Bible Representing the best written description of what real, selfless love is through the story of Jesus dying on the cross 9 Sharing a Sacred Bond Through Sexual Intimacy Depth Lamp A symbol of the spark that comes from a couple’s sexual union as husband and wife 10 Finetuning their Marital Health Growth Thermostat The circular knob on the thermostat is how the temperature of the room is adjusted, representing how finetuning the relational dynamics in marriage is critical for couples refining their relational health 11 Enjoying Times of Rest and Rejuvenation Growth Surfboard A symbol of how couples can relax and have fun together, enjoying marriage, family, and life in general 12 Leaving a Legacy Oneness Family Photo A reflection of how a marriage can impact and influence the future generations 13 Hearing the Heart Depth Radio A symbol of how couples listen to what each other shares, hearing the vulnerable and transparent depths of the other The conceptual map in Figure 3 now merges with the image of the living room objects from Figure 4 to give a fuller understanding of how these themes fit together in a larger pattern, as represented in Figure 5. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 63 Figure 5 Embodied Themes with Salient Features Embodied Themes with Salient Features Note. Themes are represented and have merged with the four salient features as a way of organizing the themes and connecting them in a meaningful way. These four salient features of foundation, oneness, depth, and growth are represented to show the reader how they fit together, connecting themes in a larger pattern. Many couples make a house or apartment their home in the beginning stages of their marriage as they merge their ways of living together. They decide what to keep in their home and what they want to leave out. Couples often choose furniture and hang things on the wall in ways TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 64 that work with each other and feel like they are a good fit for the space. Similarly, in marriage, couples are given the opportunity to decide what they want to keep in and out of their relationship. The themes that are represented by the household objects are shared key ingredients to what this emic Christian culture believes to contribute to a flourishing marriage that honours God and one another as spouses. Readers are invited to take in the visual display from Figure 5 to extend and deepen the meaning summarized by verbal descriptions. Each theme is distinctive and has a key place in the room. Figure 5 shows the themes in a meaningful way that cannot necessarily be described well in words. For the married couples in this study, their faith serves as a foundation as they build depth, cultivate growth, and foster oneness in their relationship. These couples have shared how they have been intentional to strengthen their relational dynamics as they explore the spiritual elements of life. Couples are reminded that these four salient features serve a purpose as couples navigate conflict, work towards unity, build a meaningful relationship, and experience sanctification of marriage. The four salient features hold the themes together in ways that summarize how they connect to each other in a meaningful, larger pattern. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 65 CHAPTER 5: DISCUSSION Summary of Purpose, Interviews, and Results The purpose of this research study was to examine how Christian couples are fostering generative devotion in the areas of their spiritual journey, emotional maturity, and quality of marriage. This study aimed to hear and explore the narratives of couples from an emic subgroup of Christians who have experienced growth in the domains of both faith and family life. Couples were recruited from these communities who have journeyed through marriage in ways that have been honouring to God and fruitful for their relationship. They were invited to share personal stories in ways that effectively achieved rich description for this study. I implemented a narrative approach and conducted a thematic analysis to understand the shared themes that emerged from the interviews. Seven couples were interviewed and asked to share their personal stories of how they have experienced growth in the areas of their marital quality, emotional maturity, and spiritual journey together as a couple. Participants were asked to fill out a background questionnaire and were required to be married for at least 10 years in order to provide sufficient descriptions of growth in marriage. Participants self-reflected on their marriage using a relationship flourishing scale to clarify whether this study was a good fit for them as a couple, based on the perceived maturity of their marriage. Couples were also asked to review a position statement based on the Christian Bible to clarify whether their faith commitments fit well with a specific emic subgroup of protestant Christianity. Couples were interviewed together to enhance the quality and accuracy of the data. Interviewing spouses together also gave indication to a couple’s harmony and sense of unity as I observed their interactions with one another. The first interview was two hours long and TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 66 consisted of open-ended questions that invited couples to share stories from their marriage. Interviews were conducted over the platform of Zoom, which allowed me to interview couples from across Canada: three couples from British Columbia, one from Alberta, two from Manitoba, and three from Ontario. Two research assistants joined me as we transcribed the interviews and drafted story summaries to help clarify implicit meanings. I sent each couple a story summary of what they had shared and asked them to read it over to check the accuracy of the data. I asked participants to add, edit, subtract, and correct the summary so that it would help us understand and clarify what they had shared in the interview. I met with each couple for a second interview of 20-30 minutes where I listened to the participants’ clarifications regarding the accuracy of the story summary. In the latter half of the second interview couples were also given the opportunity to debrief about their experience of what it was like to participate in the study. Story summaries were then edited and sent back to the couples for final confirmation that the story was accurate from their perspective. All of the couples shared how participating in the research process was meaningful to them as they took time to reflect back on their marriage and verbally process how they have experienced growth together as a couple. The two research assistants engaged in triangulation with me as several people were involved in the transcription and analysis of the data. We met together to discuss our personal reflections from the analysis process and to conceptualize and verbally share the themes that we found. In this meeting, my first reader joined us to help clarify the themes and impressions that emerged from the data. This process strengthened the rigour of this research as we engaged in triangulation within the research team. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 67 Analysis of the data revealed 13 shared themes that were found among couples. I took three different approaches to describe the variety of ways that each theme is experienced among couples from this community of Christians. One approach described the actions that a participant took to implement the theme. Another approach offered a direct quote that a participant shared about the theme. The third approach provided the deeper meaning behind what the participant shared, giving more context beyond their words. The 13 themes were organized to fit among four salient features: foundation, oneness, depth, and growth to clarify how the themes connect with each other. This chapter integrates the above results with selected literature on faith and marriage for Christian couples. Themes are explored in relation to Dollahite and colleagues’ (2019) conceptualization and work on generative devotion. This chapter also includes discussion around the strengths and limitations of the research, applications of the findings to therapy, and areas for consideration in future research. I want to remind readers at this point to remember the three types of language that I use to address the emic, etic, and outsider perspectives. The emic language that I use in this thesis provides descriptions that are similar to the ways that this emic group speaks with one another. The broader, etic language that I use in this thesis invites readers to understand this distinctive emic faith group of Christian couples in ways that can be compared with other faith groups. The outsider language that I use in this thesis provides descriptions for people who want to emphasize shared features of human relationships and realities. This last group of readers likely includes people who are interested in spiritual realities yet may not be associated with a specific faith community. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 68 Integrating Results with Existing Literature Generative Devotion Generative devotion is a theory of sacred relational care in families of faith (Dollahite et al., 2019). The theory of generative devotion is a way of understanding how people who are devoted to God, their partner, their family unit, their extended family, and their communities are able to nurture and facilitate relational fruit as a result of their devotion. This theory integrates ideas of how individuals, couples, and families care for one another’s well-being in ways that draw both from their devotion to God and from their faith communities, spiritual beliefs, and spiritual practices. Previous literature on generative devotion has been formulated within an etic approach as researchers from the American Families of Faith (AFF) project have explored general life strengths, marital strengths, and parenting strengths among White American Evangelical Christian couples (Kroff et al., 2018), Black African American Christian couples (Millett et al., 2018), and Asian American immigrant Christian couples (Son et al., 2018). Marital strengths from these communities included enhancing marital unity, resolving marital conflict, marital sanctification, and forgiveness in marriage. These three groups of Christians were selected from a recent summary of results from the AFF project. Results from the current study can now be compared and contrasted with a major research program on fostering generative devotion. My research study included couples from Protestant Christian backgrounds who emphasized congregational life as central to the vitality of Christianity, had beliefs centred on the Bible, and emphasized the priority of their relationship with Jesus Christ. Couples from this faith group desire to have their marriage relationship serve as a reflection of God’s love, not only to one another but also to those around them. Couples from this emic community share ways that TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 69 remind them how their marriage gives them purpose and meaning as they consider the relational, spiritual, and emotional facets that are an integral part of life for them as a couple. These couples have found ways to foster generative devotion throughout their marriage as they reflect on how their faith journey has played a fundamental role in nurturing their relational maturity. In this section, I compare and contrast the themes that emerged from my research project with the generative devotion marital strengths found among White American Evangelical Christian couples, Black African American Christian couples, and Asian American Immigrant couples of Christian faiths. Similarities Enhancing Marital Unity. Both Asian American Immigrants and White American Evangelicals shared that their faith enhanced their marital unity (Kroff et al., 2018; Son et al., 2018). For White American Evangelical couples, they described marriage as a wagon wheel, where they saw that God was at the centre of the wheel. As they strengthened their relationship with God, their marriage strengthened as a result. From the findings reported in chapter four, one of the salient features from this thesis was oneness as couples shared that they became one, and became more, with each other and with God. One of the subthemes that emerged from my research described how couples are unified as they process with each other what God has shown them. Jack and Olivia shared how God will give one of them a thought, and as they share the thought with the other person, they discern and listen to the Holy Spirit. In doing this, they nudge each other towards a persistent life of living with God, walking in step with the Spirit. They shared that God builds upon these thoughts for them as a couple, and as the Spirit leads, together they have gained remarkable clarity as they have waited for the Lord to act. These moments have TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 70 brought them closer as a couple and there is a sense of unity that follows as they pursue Christ together. Another theme that emerged for White American Evangelical couples was that praying together as a couple kept God at the centre and included Him as a third person in the marriage relationship (Kroff et al., 2018). Participants from this thesis shared that they also feel united by prayer. Couples shared how incredible it has been to have moments of spiritual intimacy with God as they have prayed together and listened to what the Holy Spirit wanted to say. Lucas and Tia have cried, laughed, and embraced these powerful experiences where they invited God into their marriage. They shared that it has united them beyond what they could have imagined. Enhancing marital unity has been an evident pattern that emerged from the generative devotion research as well as this research project. When a couple becomes one in their shared spiritual life, they feel closer to each other and bond as they have experienced God at work in their marriage. Couples described how they have experienced unity in their relationship as they reflect upon how their spiritual engagement has influenced their sense of togetherness. Marital unity is viewed as a marital strength in generative devotion research because couples experience closeness with each other as they share similar values and meanings from their faith journeys. To further clarify and understand these patterns of marital strengths, one can look to certain metaphors to help illustrate these meanings. The metaphor that I use in this chapter offers a more accurate understanding of the implicit meanings from what the participants shared. This metaphor is a way that one can picture what it may look like for couples in their experiences of enhancing marital unity, resolving marital conflict, marital sanctification, and forgiveness in marriage. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 71 Readers are invited to imagine a couple on a sailboat and observe them floating on the water together. There is a shared sense of unity as they journey on the water together, in the same boat. The couple must work together to keep the wind in their sails and stay on track towards their destination. Hazards may occur but they must keep each other informed of what is in their path. They share a desire to work together as a team and enjoy the adventure. Similarly, in marriage, couples embark on a marital voyage and experience unity when they work together as a team, as a marital unit. Just as the wind powers the sails on the boat, these couples acknowledge how God moves in their relationship as they recognize and experience Him at work in their marriage. Resolving Marital Conflict. A theme that emerged for Asian American couples was that spouses have found it helpful to bring their conflicts before God (Son et al., 2018). One wife shared that when she prayed to God about their marital conflicts it opened up opportunity for her to see her own weaknesses. She asked God for help and wanted to take responsibility for her faults. From the findings described in the previous chapter, the salient feature of growth can offer couples a unique perspective as they navigate conflict. One of the participants described how she will go for a walk with God and pray through her emotions first so that she can go back to her husband with a clear mind and a humble heart. When this participant processes her feelings with God, she can reflect on her desire to navigate tension with maturity instead of getting stuck in emotional despair and reacting in ways that are unhelpful. For White American Evangelicals, a theme was that couples have sought appropriate help from someone outside the relationship (Kroff et al., 2018). For conflicts that are more complex and perpetual, couples have found it helpful to talk with a pastor, marriage mentor, or professional counsellor to receive support from a neutral perspective. Seeking appropriate TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 72 outside support helps couples engage in deeper conversations and supplies couples with tools to navigate difficult situations that tend to arise in marriage. Couples from this study also described how meeting with a pastor, mentor, or counsellor has been helpful at times when the conflict seemed to be too big to work through on their own, and that in some situations, it was an influence in helping change relational patterns to be more effective. Another theme for White American Evangelical couples was how they changed negative emotions into relational actions (Kroff et al., 2018). Couples described that their faith has influenced how they have navigated negative feelings and turned their conflict into a situation that bettered their marriage. Participants shared that as they made a conscious effort to shift their perspective on how they can love their spouse in the midst of marital tension, it provided opportunities to move forward in the relationship. Similarly, in this study, participants described that they view conflict not as something that has divided them, but as something that has brought them closer together. These couples described that conflict has drawn out where they have been misaligned and they took these opportunities to learn more about their spouse. Experiences of conflict then presented a season of growth to realign and become stronger as they put in the effort to work through the tensions in ways that honoured one another. Some couples have gone out for coffee to do this, while others have sat on the same side of the table to remind themselves that they are on the same team. These participants believe that the conflict is worth addressing because their spouse is important to them. A common pattern between these findings and the generative devotion research are the ways that couples resolve marital conflict. Couples who have viewed conflict as an opportunity for growth have found that their tension points bring them deeper and closer together than before. Spouses from this community described how going to God has helped them process their TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 73 uncomfortable emotions so that they can effectively handle marital conflicts. Couples shared how their spiritual convictions influence their level of commitment in marriage as they make an effort to work through things even when the relationship feels unappealing. These patterns of generative devotion are similar between these findings and the previous research (Kroff et al., 2018; Millett et al., 2018; Son et al., 2018) and help to describe ways that couples nurture relational safety amidst marital conflict. In continuation with the boating analogy, sometimes a boat will encounter a storm on the water. Clouds roll in, the sky gets dark, and the waves seem monstrous. In order to prevent the boat from capsizing, the couple on the boat must work together to ride out the storm as they navigate the waves. Tools such as a satellite, radio, and lights are used to ensure a safe and successful voyage. In the same way, conflict in marriage can be like a boat trying to sail in a storm. If the conflict is not resolved, it is possible that the marriage capsizes when it reaches a tipping point of no return. When a couple can weather the storm together, they can keep their boat afloat and they may also learn from their experience. It is helpful for couples to have relational tools that they can implement when there is conflict. As they pay attention to potential hazards in their relationship, they are emphasizing that it is important to understand what the problem is and how they can navigate it well. Marital Sanctification. For Black African American Christian couples, a theme that emerged from couples’ experiences of marriage was that God was present and actively involved in their lives and this “positively influenced their marriage and family relationships, commitment, and cohesion” (Millett et al., 2018, p. 673). Couples shared that their relationship with God not only helped them stay together but also enhanced the quality of their marriage. Participants shared that engaging in spiritual practices served as a roadmap for marriage as they TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 74 shared about the importance of having conversations with the Lord and reading Scripture, which gave them hope and anchored their marriage in faith. From the previous chapter’s findings, one of the salient features that connects with this theme of marital sanctification is the motivation of having a foundation. Couples from this study described how their faith is the pillar of their relationship as they invite God to be an active participant in their marriage. Couples shared that their spiritual journey is rich, full, and alive as they experience the presence of God and listen to the Holy Spirit’s whispers of love and guidance. The influence of God in marriage has been life-changing for these participants and has inspired them to do their best as they yearn to reflect God’s love to one another in marriage. Couples from this community described how they have been intentional to connect on a spiritual level as they read Scripture together, memorize verses, engage in conversations about faith, and encourage one another in their walk with Jesus. Couples also explained how the Holy Spirit has moved in their marriage as they interact with God, listening to His voice together. Couples shared that when they are intimate with God, they are better equipped to love their spouse as they have a fresh understanding and experience of real, selfless love. The meaning and value of marital sanctification was a common pattern from both this research and the research on generative devotion. Couples who have included God as an active participant in their marriage have described the sacredness of developing their walk with God as a couple. Participants shared the significance of having faith that they are both anchored to as they navigate the journey of life together. There has been a richness of cohesion and couples have seen positive changes in their quality of marriage as they center their relationship on, and in, God. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 75 There are times on a boat where you drop the anchor because you are ready to park for a while. The anchor goes deep and attaches to a firm place in the seabed. Even though the base of the boat is riding the waves at the water’s surface, the boat is anchored to a place of peace that helps to ground it. Similarly, couples have anchored to their foundation of faith that helps them stay present with God and with each other throughout the daily waves of life. It is a sacred, meaningful part of being on this boat and knowing that on the journey, they are anchored in the love, protection, and care of God. The deeper the anchor is in the sand, the stronger the hold that it has to the ground. Similarly, couples who describe themselves as rooted in Jesus experience a spiritual dynamic that is alive, sturdy, unshakeable and firmly grounded in Biblical truths and a meaningful personal relationship with Jesus. Forgiveness in Marriage. Forgiveness was a common theme for Asian American couples who are committed to Jesus and to their spouse (Son et al., 2018). The process of forgiveness was connected with how spiritual beliefs played a role in marriage, including Biblical insights and Jesus’ command to forgive. One husband described how love, mutual respect, forgiveness, and patience are important ingredients for marriage, which all play a role in shifting an inner heart posture to successfully work through marital conflicts. For many American Asian couples, forgiveness played a role in contributing to longevity of marriage. For White American Evangelicals, couples shared that a Biblical understanding of love included serving one another and forgiving each other (Kroff et al., 2018). One husband shared how part of loving his wife like how Christ loved the church includes forgiving his wife, because Christ forgave him. From the findings in this research project, forgiveness did not take shape as a separate theme, although forgiveness in marriage was clearly described by every couple that was TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 76 interviewed. Forgiveness was evident as participants shared how they strive to reflect the character of Jesus. Couples shared how they apologize to one another and forgive each other, because they remember how Jesus has forgiven them and saved them from their sin. From the findings, the salient feature of depth describes how couples foster connection and meaning as they are intentional in loving one another effectively. Participants from this research project and the generative devotion research described forgiveness to be a fundamental process in marriage. Couples have learned from their own experiences, both spiritually and relationally, that apologizing and forgiving one another are crucial ingredients in a well-functioning marriage. Couples described that their motivation often comes from reflecting and remembering the ultimate act of forgiveness that Jesus displayed when He died on the cross to forgive humanity from their sin. Boats seem to encounter reoccurring mechanical issues that impact their ability to function well in the water. It would be unusual for a boat owner to throw away their boat out of frustration. Owners who stay angry or upset over a malfunction tend to keep themselves in a position of still having a broken boat. An effective approach requires the owner to pay attention to what broke down and to look into how they can get it repaired. Once the broken part is repaired, the boat functions well again and keeps sailing, much to the owner’s satisfaction. Couples who are quick to forgive after a malfunction get to experience the benefit that comes from paying attention to an issue as they move forward to heal their relationship and nurture forgiveness. Human relationships are not meant to be fixed, but instead, they require relational attunement through carefulness, thoughtfulness, and attention to detail in order to make an attachment repair. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 77 In considering the marital strengths that emerged from the previous research on generative devotion, I have now compared both the etic literature and the emic findings from the participants in a way that captures the similarities by using thick descriptions. Couples from both the etic and emic communities share similar patterns of meaning in enhancing marital unity, resolving marital conflict, marital sanctification, and forgiveness in marriage. These shared similarities reflect how couples turn towards their spirituality to guide and influence their marriage relationships. Now, I turn to exploring the differences between the findings in this thesis and the themes emerging from the AFF research on generative devotion. Differences I now review differences that emerged between results in this thesis and the AFF project in the areas of marital sanctification, unity in marriage, resolving marital conflict, and forgiveness of marriage. While there are overlaps and shared features between the published research on generative devotion and this research project, there are also ways that they differ. The generative devotion researchers have used language formulated for an etic audience while I have used language formulated for an emic audience to give thick description and honour distinctive meanings behind the stories that the participants shared. In doing so, I have cultivated results that expand upon the areas of marital sanctification, marital unity, resolving marital conflict, and forgiveness in marriage. It is not that participants disagree with the themes that emerged from the previous research on generative devotion, but the way that these participants described their experiences gave a richer account to deepen and explain the distinct ways that their faith has influenced how they have navigated marriage. For each theme that is discussed below, I attempt to bridge the etic language and the emic TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 78 formulation of what these participants have shared as it expands upon the previously researched etic formulations of generative devotion principles for some Christian communities. A Roadmap for Marital Sanctification. The spiritual growth experienced throughout the journey of marriage seemed to be dependent upon how each spouse nurtured their own relationship with God. My research took a different approach from the etic generative devotion model. The emic formulation offers the priority of a relational engagement with Father, Son, and Holy Spirit for these participants. Previous literature with an etic emphasis described that God is a third component, an active participant in the relationship, yet gave limited and partial accounts of how couples’ experiences of God directly affected and influenced the marriage relationship. For example, Millett and colleagues’ (2018) research on Black American Christians described themes of marital sanctification, spiritual practices, and relationship with God. They described that participants included God as a part of their marriage and that they used Scripture and prayer as a spiritual roadmap for marriage. Millett and colleagues used etic descriptions as they explained the themes that emerged, and they also chose not to identify specific beliefs and actions that embodied marital sanctification for couples. These patterns they described are not untrue for these participants, but they are incomplete in capturing some of the rich aspects of the emic emphasis. The participants from Millett and colleagues’ research described that their spiritual practices provided a roadmap for marriage, specifically in reading Scripture. This idea is compatible with the findings from my study but can be expanded upon through thick description required by an emic account. If couples from my research had a roadmap for marriage, reading Scripture and praying would be like the compass that they use as they navigate the journey of life together. The roadmap itself may mark the start of their relationship, but there would probably be one road TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 79 called Trusting God, with a warning sign indicating that it is a bumpy road. There might be a valley named The Valley of the Unknown, or a viewpoint called Perspective Point. There would be a sign that says, Yield: to the Holy Spirit and a few unexpected U-turns. The directions on the roadmap would not only point to spiritual practices but would also indicate the many areas of life that a couple goes through as they know and experience Jesus in ways that are personal and meaningful. Some couples described the difficulties of having a miscarriage, financial struggle, or the stressful years of caring for young children. There were times where they had surrendered their careers and had no idea what would come next. There were also moments where couples recognized that they needed to turn around and head down a road called forgiveness. Couples described moments of looking back on what God had done for them as they cultivated thankful hearts. Yielding to the Holy Spirit was what kept these couples strong as a family unit and secure in their faith. A central theme that couples shared was the importance of each spouse having a close, personal relationship with Jesus. Instead of looking to their spouse for stability, identity, or security, spouses have found this in God. Their spiritual journey with God has given them a deeper revelation of what love really means. One participant shared that out of his intimacy with Jesus, he has a greater ability to love his wife. The salient feature that connected this theme is the foundation of faith that each spouse nurtures. Faith can be talked about in a relationship, it can be a shared value that upholds the foundation for a marriage, and it can be implemented through spiritual practices together as a couple. Yet, to encounter the meaning of the Gospel it goes through a person’s individual heart, mind, and soul as they are an active participant with God. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 80 Unity as a Couple. Kroff and colleagues’ (2018) research on White Evangelical Christians in the US described how couples felt unified as they drew closer to one another by engaging in spiritual practices. Couples described that when they strengthen their relationship with God, they strengthen their marriage. Couples shared how praying together draws them closer and described that the Bible gives them direction in unifying their beliefs of love and marriage. Once again, the participants in my research project from this emic community of Christians would not disagree with these ideas that promote and enhance unity in a spiritual fashion, but the sexual and emotional elements of marriage in addition to the spiritual elements are richer in these results than what is described in an etic sense for the previous research on generative devotion. The salient feature of oneness was expanded upon as couples in this study shared how they not only bonded in a spiritual sense but also experienced unity in sexual and emotional realms of their relationship. These areas of spirituality, sexuality, and emotionality overlap with each other in spouse’s experiences of becoming one together. Participants specifically described that their spirituality plays a role in developing unity through sexuality, as couples shared how they have experienced oneness through sharing a sacred bond through sexual intimacy as husband and wife. Oneness was also experienced emotionally as couples have embraced the process of attuning to one another in ways that merge their thoughts, feelings, dreams, and lives with each other and with God. Another interesting difference that emerged from this study was participants’ views of disunity in their spiritual journey. Dollahite and colleagues (2018) suggested that religion may be both helpful and harmful to a marriage relationship. Couples in this research described that they sensed that it was not the spiritual experiences, practices, or dynamics themselves, but instead TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 81 described how destructive spiritual influences have impacted their spiritual journey as a couple. People within this community would understand destructive spiritual influences to be of the activities of Satan and the consequences of sinful actions both by individuals and social structures. Participants shared their experiences of how they have encountered and engaged in spiritual warfare throughout their marriage. Couples described that Satan’s attack on marriage is a prominent way that he wants to undermine the church. Couples shared how they have recognized Satan’s attempt to create division in their relationship. For example, Philip and Joy described that during the early stages of their marriage they found it very challenging to pray with each other. They would grow frustrated with each other that their prayers were too short or too long. As they reflected back to that time, they could see that was one way that the enemy tried to use a spiritual, uniting element of prayer as a way to divide them instead. Over time they made an effort to keep pursuing prayer together as a couple and it was a commitment that bonded them and strengthened them as they overcame Satan’s plans to divide them in their prayer life as a couple. Couples described how they have remained committed to nurturing both their individual relationships with Jesus and have continued to invite God into their marriage relationship as an active participant to intervene and protect their marriage. Navigating Marital Conflict. Another marital strength that emerged from the research on White Evangelical Christians in the US was how couples navigated conflict (Kroff et al., 2018). These couples shared that their faith offered them tools to resolve and avoid conflict in their marriage by being selfless, seeking appropriate help, and transforming negative feelings TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 82 into relational actions. The ways that these principles were etically described seemed to present as a fix-and-solve solution. Participants from my study expanded upon these meanings and presented a different mindset towards conflict in marriage. These couples did not necessarily disagree with the heart of these principles, but they described them in a way that was much more honouring of the conflicts that have come up in marriage. This honouring has allowed spouses to experience safety in the relationship and hold space for one another as they work to understand what emotional triggers are stemming from deeper issues. These relational processes contribute to the salient feature of depth that develops throughout the marriage relationship. Participants described that when they have experienced marital tension they have been able to recognize the pivotal moments where they need to take extra caution and intentional action to honour what has come up. Couples have found it helpful to handle their marital conflicts with maturity and see the conflict as something that they can use to benefit them as a couple as they work through the issue at hand and understand each other on a deeper level than before. One couple from this research shared how they have made an effort to grab a coffee together when a conflict arises in their relationship. By going for coffee, they are communicating to each other, because you are important to me, this conflict is important to me. This couple described these intentional coffee times to be a place where they could honour the conflict and gain a deeper understanding of how to love each other better and more effectively. Previous literature on generative devotion for Christian couples (Kroff et al., 2018; Millett et al., 2018; Son et al., 2018) placed more emphasis on the intersection of faith and family life and paid little attention to the details of how couples have navigated the emotional aspects of relationships. My study found that when spouses took time to understand their feelings TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 83 and invited God into that process, the more emotionally attuned they became to one another. This fostered emotional harmony between spouses and brought positive experiences that enhanced marital unity. When spouses brought their emotions to God before they processed emotions with each other, they found this spiritual experience to be like a filter that offered comfort, awareness, insight, and perspective. The more that spouses became aware of how and why they reacted to certain situations, the better they could respond in a way that benefitted the relationship. Couples noticed that it can be easier to honour conflict when they see that they are on the same team, and some couples recognized that God is cheering them on in their marriage too. Spouses shared that honouring conflict takes skill in becoming aware of and regulating emotions as they strive to emulate Christ in all of their conversations with one another. As spouses have processed their emotions with God and learned to respond maturely instead of reacting negatively, they have been able to hold space for both their own emotions and the emotions of the other. This has created safety within the relationship to explore the disagreements, conflicts, triggers, and tension points that arise. Forgiveness in Marriage. For Asian American Immigrants, forgiveness was closely tied to the idea of commitment (Son et al., 2018). These participants described how Jesus’ command to forgive encourages them to forgive in their own marriage relationships. Once again, research participants in this project would not disagree with these motivations but would expand and deepen the meaning of forgiveness in a faith-based marriage. Couples from this research project shared their views on the meaning of forgiveness. Participants expressed that their understanding of Jesus’ forgiveness demonstrated through the cross changes the posture of their hearts as they reflect on how they have been forgiven. This TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 84 view moves away from the idea of following a legalistic commandment and instead embraces an authentic invitation from God that frees them from the burdens of suffering caused by other’s harm upon them. For these couples, forgiveness moved beyond the essence of following a commandment, and adopted an expression of gratitude in that out of thankfulness for Jesus’ forgiveness for their own sins, they are quick in choosing to forgive others as they have reflected on the grace that has been bestowed upon them. A salient feature from this research was the notion of growth as couples have fostered emotional maturity within their relationship. Participants from this research have strengthened self-awareness as they invite God to help them process and understand their feelings. It has taken time for couples to nurture and cultivate these characteristics in their marriage as they have fostered generative devotion principles by emulating the character of Christ and living out the fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. In summary, comparing the similarities and differences have highlighted how this research expands upon the four salient features of foundation, oneness, depth, and growth in relation to the previous literature on generative devotion. The themes of marital sanctification, unity in marriage, resolving marital conflict, and forgiveness in marriage were compared and expanded through the findings that emerged from this research by giving emic priority to the principles of generative devotion for a specific community of Christians. I am interested in the deep meanings that emerge for couples when they adventure through the highs and lows of marriage and I have now investigated the implicit understandings of what the couples have shared with me. Most of what I have found is that for these participants, at the heart of marriage, at the heart of relationships, is the message of the Gospel and how the TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 85 love of Jesus has greatly impacted how some Christian couples know, experience, and demonstrate love in marriage. These expansions upon the similarities and differences gave a detailed, in-depth description of how couples have fostered generative devotion principles in an emic fashion. Applications to Therapy Based on the findings there are a number of ways that this research may inform therapists, marriage mentors, pastors, and couples of this emic faith group. Possible suggestions to explore with couples in therapy could include (a) incorporating the couple’s faith into the counselling process; (b) inviting couples to reflect on the four principles of foundation, depth, growth, and oneness; (c) exploring the couple’s strengths and growth points in relation to the shared themes; (d) implementing Emotionally Focused Therapy to help couples develop selfawareness and practice healthy emotional cycles; and (e) supporting and encouraging couples as they go on their own journey of growth by facilitating secure relational patterns in counselling sessions. For example, incorporating a couple’s faith into the counselling process may be a vital piece of the puzzle for Christian couples as they navigate their marital relationship. One of the themes that emerged from this research was Seeking Out and Submitting to Counsel. Participants shared that when they recognize that a conflict is too intense for them to deal with on their own, they have decided to seek appropriate outside help from either a pastor, a mentor, or a counsellor. As the research depicted what has been most foundational for these couples, it is evident that faith is of utmost importance to couples from this Christian community. A couple’s spiritual journey is not to be dismissed or neglected in counselling because their faith may be integral for them in the process of pursuing growth. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 86 The findings from my research project may encourage couples who are already experiencing growth but still desire to enhance their marriage. Readers may benefit from questions that address the relational compass from this research of foundation, oneness, depth, and growth: what elements and values make up the foundation for your marriage? How do you want to foster oneness as a couple? What are some markers in your relationship that reflect the depth of your marriage? And, how do you want to cultivate growth in your relationship and what does that look like for you? Asking questions like these may inspire couples to reflect on their relationship and who they want to become, together. Strengths and Limitations A notable part of this study was that couples who shared their stories to inspire others also found that the experience of the interviews was revitalizing for their own marriages. Participants described how they found it refreshing to sit down and reflect on their journey of life together. Couples also indicated that the story summary they received was a blessing to them. For some spouses it was a beautiful and emotional experience to read their marriage story and recognize the growth that they have cultivated. One of the strengths from this research project was that I, along with the research assistants, analyzed the results with emic priority, focusing on the meanings that emerged as couples shared their stories. Instead of taking an etic perspective that highlights universal, thin descriptions, I took an emic approach to address the etic question. This approach resulted in thick descriptions of how couples have tangibly experienced the integration of faith, marriage, and emotional maturity. Even though the emic emphasis in these results are similar in many ways to the etic findings from previous research on generative devotion, thick description offers more direct ways to apply these findings in psychotherapy. To expand upon the differences found TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 87 between previous literature and this research, I intentionally bridged the etic language to emic understandings, which is considered to be a strength of this research. It was an ambitious but worthwhile goal. The main difference that came about from emphasizing emic priority was that couples’ relationship with Jesus was more central to the results, and specifically in how spouses described their experiences of interaction with the Holy Spirit. My analysis of the research found several connections that emerged between this emic subgroup of Christian couples and the previous literature on generative devotion. Previous research on generative devotion has given etic priority to describe the themes that emerged in their studies. This emphasis on broader concepts ultimately resulted in relatively thin descriptions. This thesis research expanded on the themes that emerged and provided different ways of showing how these themes take shape in the lives of the couples through actions, quotes, and deeper implicit meanings. These tangible formulations gave emic priority to a specific community and this approach strengthened thick description in the findings. Throughout the recruitment process, it was difficult to recruit participants from diverse cultural backgrounds. Moreover, the racially and ethnically diverse volunteers ended up being excluded from the data analysis. Thus, I was only partially successful in my intention to recruit couples from diverse ethnic, cultural, and racial backgrounds. This was a limitation for my study, and it would be insightful to hear from couples who come from more diverse racial and ethnic backgrounds. Another limitation to this study was that everyone on my research team identifies as part of Christian faith communities. In some ways this was helpful in that we were familiar with the language and culture of their faith communities, but it may also have been a weakness in that our TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 88 perceptions of family and faith may have influenced the interpretations of the data. It would also have been valuable to have heard a different perspective from someone who does not share the same faith background while we analyzed the results. There would be benefit in having an etic perspective from someone on future research teams who adheres to a different faith group to further bridge some of the emic understandings to etic language. Recommendations for Future Research Based on the findings that emerged in this research project, any of the 13 themes could be developed further and researched specifically to benefit research on marriage for Christian couples. One of my recommendations is that it would be worthwhile for researchers to recruit Christian couples from diverse racial, ethnic, and cultural backgrounds. Research could be expanded for different cultural communities to better understand how their marriage is impacted by the cultural components that were not explored in this research project. This research emphasized a focus on marriage, yet the themes are not exclusive to marriage as they could also play a role in parenting and raising a family. Future researchers could investigate how Christian families navigate the integration of faith and family life. This research looked at how couples invite God into their marriage, and future researchers could explore how parents and children from an emic Christian faith group invite God into their daily life together as a family. A deeper understanding of these experiences could expand the research when analyzed with emic priority to give thick description of the results. This emic extension could then complement the program of generative devotion research which already takes this larger focus. It would also be valuable to interview Christian couples who are committed to each other and to God, yet feel stuck in their journey of faith, emotional maturity, or growth in marital TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 89 quality. Hearing from these couples what is currently getting in the way of their marriage experiencing growth could be an insight for therapists and marriage mentors in this present-day world to understand what current societal factors are contributing to marital challenges. Conclusion This research explored many different ways that some Christian couples have experienced growth in the areas of their spiritual journey, emotional maturity, and marital quality. Thirteen shared themes and 39 subthemes were identified through the analysis and these themes emphasized the four salient features: having a firm foundation of faith, building oneness with each other and with God, striving for relational depth, and cultivating growth in their marriage relationship. The findings from this research may inform emic, etic, and outsider perspectives who are interested in the generative devotion theory for couple relationships. I took a narrative approach and conducted a thematic analysis to find shared themes among the seven couples who shared their stories of marriage. The findings report the shared themes from this subgroup of Christians that are distinctive to them as a faith group. Aspects of relational, emotional, and spiritual maturity were assessed and taken into account by the researcher. This specific faith group is Biblically based, loves Jesus Christ, and is open to the Holy Spirit’s guidance in their lives, including in marriage. The way that these couples have experienced God’s love has influenced the way that they view and experience marriage. As both spouses nurture their own spiritual development they are able to invite God into their marriage and deepen their understanding of real love. This leads them to become more, together, and encourages them to leave a legacy of faith and family for the future generations. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 90 These results reveal how generative devotion shows up in the lives of Christian couples from this emic faith group and how their faith specifically influences their marriage relationship. Couples shared their stories of how they have experienced growth in their spiritual journey, emotional maturity, and marital quality as they have surrendered their lives to Jesus. For the couples who participated, their experience of God’s deep love for them enhances the love that they share for their spouse. 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In J. A. Simpson & D. T. Kenrick (Eds.), Evolutionary social psychology (pp. 237-264). Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781315806082 TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 100 APPENDIX A: Glossary Co-Regulation: When a spouse’s emotions are overpowering them, the spouse is struggling not only to maintain the emotion but also are at the mercy of the other spouse’s emotions. This can be harmful or helpful depending on how the other spouse reacts. Co-regulation is that to a certain extent, couples rely on each other to be emotionally and behaviourally stable. Fishbane (2011) found that “couples coregulate each other through love, touch, and empathy; they also may dysregulate each other with a cascade of negative physical and emotional reactions” (p. 341). Healthy co-regulation between couples enables them to empower each other emotionally and behaviourally. Distal: Distal measures have been previously used for the majority of researching the connections between faith and marriage. These distal measures usually look at individual religiousness as each spouse evaluates their own faith life, yet this approach tends to miss the accuracy of how a couple experiences their faith together as a unit (Mahoney et al., 1999). Some researchers are starting to recognize that research regarding religion must move beyond just measuring personal satisfaction, church attendance, or denominational affiliation. Emic: In research strategies, taking an emic approach is to look at a particular group that has specific cultural features that make it distinctive from other groups. Emic communities are beneficial to study as the uniqueness of each group can be worthwhile to learn from. Etic: In research strategies, taking an etic approach is to examine humanity as a whole and apply general principles to the population at large. There are benefits to this approach in that the groups are inclusive of all types of diverse people groups and the research can be applicable for most people. Generative Devotion: Dollahite and colleagues’ (2019) use of the term devotion is a proximal construct that demonstrates “both religious and relational involvement, commitment, and loyalty to God, family, neighbours, and other” (p. 432), and is used in place of the term religion, which they consider to be a distal construct. This way, the term devotion can include those who consider themselves to be spiritual, but not religious. Generative devotion can be fostered in personal and relational ways that benefit the long-term generativity of flourishing relationships that promote healthy family relationships and rich spiritual meaning. Sanctification of Marriage: For something to be sacred it connects with God for deeper spiritual purposes. Sanctification is the process of something becoming holy, in light of it being sacred. A sanctified marriage’s essential qualities can identify as having spiritual character and significance. To further expand and dissect these traits of marital sanctification, couples may see their marriage as having sacred qualities or by experiencing marriage as a manifestation of God. Recognizing the manifestation of God in a marital relationship can be how one perceives that God is active and influential in their marriage. Self-Regulation: Self-regulation is having the ability to be aware of and control one’s thoughts, emotions, behaviours, and actions in order to produce positive outcomes such as loving relationships and well-being. In relationships, two people learn to self-regulate with each other TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 101 and this is especially necessary in a marriage relationship, as spouses become each other’s primary psychological and physiological regulators. Spiritual Journey: For some individuals, a spiritual journey may begin when they feel some sort of a connection to God, and for others, they may feel as though they have always been on a spiritual journey even from birth. When faith-based couples are united as one through a marriage covenant, many would say that they are embarking on a spiritual journey together. The marriage covenant becomes a catalyst for the official beginning of a couple’s future as a devoted family unit. Proximal: Proximal measures can be used to assess a couple’s spirituality and the connection that it has with their marriage relationship. Some researchers have pursued studies that measure these spheres from a distance, such as individual religiousness in connection to marital quality (Brimhall & Butler, 2007; Dudley & Kosinski, 1990), and unfortunately, these distal measures lack results that explain how couples go on a spiritual journey together. Proximal measures can be used to gain a deeper understanding of how married couples experience their faith as a couple (Mahoney et al., 1999). Some examples of proximal measures that can be researched are when a couple engages in spiritual activity together, or how they participate in the sanctification of marriage. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 102 APPENDIX B: My Personal Relationship with the Research There are many reasons why I have come to this specific inquiry, as I am a married woman myself, I am part of this emic subgroup of Christianity, and I am currently pursuing a counselling degree so that I can fulfill my dream of becoming a couple’s therapist. For many years I have been quite passionate about the topic of marriage and I have found that many couples who are part of this emic subgroup of Christianity have felt lost at times in their marriage. I have personally been a witness to Christian couples who struggle to know how to relate their faith to their marriage, especially in moments of conflict or disconnection. Some of these relationships have even led to the devastation of divorce. I see that there is a deep need in this world for couples therapy, and because Christians share a common identity of having a personal faith that is central to their core, therapists at broad must realize how faith and marriage are inseparable for many couples. My personal theological stance is that God is the designer of marriage and wants us to include Him in our marriages because He cares and loves us. I believe that marriage is a beautiful, unique, lifelong journey that has the potential to bring out the best (and worst! – hence why we need unconditional love) in two people. When two people in a marriage work to love each other unconditionally (just as God loves us), the relationship provides endless opportunities to reflect the deep love of God toward each other. Through the Holy Spirit, I have personally witnessed God’s miraculous works in my own life and I have experienced the supernatural power of God in many situations. I have experienced God’s love in powerful ways, which in turn, has spurred me on to love my husband with greater joy. I am very passionate about the integration of my marriage and my Christian faith, and I would say that these realms of life are inseparable to me. My own experiences in marriage and my identity as a Christian are motivating TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 103 drives for this research, because the intertwining of these realms is a tangible and strengthening experience for me (Josselson & Lieblich, 2003). God’s supernatural intervention can occur in marriage and I often hear from many couples that the God moments in their marriage are incredibly influential. These moments remind them of how God is in control and how He blesses their relationship as they commit themselves to Him. These insights would be beneficial not only for myself but also for other therapists, pastors, and mentors working with Christian couples (Clandinin et al., 2007). Spiritual tones in therapy are critical, yet some therapists overlook these layers of faith. The media blasts mainstream, secular, and even ungodly messages to the world that often contrast Christian beliefs and practices. When therapists are successful in incorporating a couple’s core pieces of their identity, there is stronger potential for hope, change, and transformation for a couple. Many Christians desire to live for Christ and often need encouragement from others to do so. Relationships that are godly, secure, and healthy are generative; generativity promotes a lifelong commitment that is full of purpose, hope, and love (Dollahite et al., 2019). In a faith-based marriage relationship, generative devotion is explicitly crucial for the well-being of a couple, as they work towards relational maturity with each other and spiritual maturity with God. Simplistically, generative devotion produces good fruit in people’s lives, in regard to relationships and spirituality. Many Christians hold the perspective that there is an objective truth about who God is and how salvation is attained. The faith of Christians is strikingly unique from other faiths (e.g. Islam, Judaism), and this is one reason why it is important to understand how generative devotion differs between faith groups. In the theological perspective of a Christian, they believe that there is one truth that applies to the whole world. Yet within Christianity, each person carries TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 104 their own subjective experience of their faith. Just as the law of gravity is true for everyone, people have different personal stories that are subjective to their experience of how gravity affects their everyday life (e.g. one woman drops a spatula and it falls to the ground, one child throws a leaf up in the air and it flies up and then drops down, etc.). Each couple has gone through life in their own way and no two marriages are the same. Every married couple has their own unique story and learns to somehow maintain their relationship if they are still together. There are healthy, general, universal applications that can apply to all marriages, but what works for one couple will not necessarily work for another. This highlights the importance of investigating and researching multiple couples’ personal experiences of transformation and generative devotion in marriage because of their Christian faith. The question is, how do couples who experience transformation in their spiritual wellbeing (personal relationship with Jesus), emotional maturity (attunement), and marriage (sacrificial love) make meaning of how they have come to cultivate generative devotion? How can other Christian couples move towards transformation in these areas? From a critical realist paradigm, it is my understanding that as flawed, imperfect human beings with earthly minds, we have an incomplete, imperfect, partial understanding of life, both in marriage and of who God is. God reveals Himself through His Word, through His Son Jesus Christ, through His Spirit, and through creation. Yet, we do not have a full and complete idea of who God is or what a perfect marriage looks like. The epistemology of critical realism suggests that emic groups can approach the same reality. Many Christians hold the belief that there is one ultimate objective reality (relationship with Jesus Christ) that has life-changing effects. Yet, everyone within this faith group still experiences their own subjective realities but may hold a similar spiritual lens. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 105 In this thesis, I personally take interest in influencing marriages to experience transformation through having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I experience this in my marriage and have heard this testimony from many other married couples who identify as being a part of an emic subgroup of Christianity. I am also a witness to the loving relationships that my parents and grandparents have as their lives reflect the love of God and their healthy marriages are beautiful testimonies of their personal relationships with Jesus. In summary, the purpose of my study is to provide counsellors, pastors, and mentors with current research that investigates how Christian couples experience transformation and work towards generativity in their faith and relationships. My personal experience is that as a Christian, my personal relationship with Jesus is core to my identity and has been an integral piece in my spiritual journey, my marriage, and my emotional maturity. I know that this is the case for many others who share the Christian faith. My desire is to have couples share their stories with me and to learn how each couple has gone through the stages of formation, maintenance, and transformation in the areas of spiritual growth, emotional maturity, and sacrificial love. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 106 APPENDIX C: My Identity and Inheritance in Christ Position Statement Our identity in Christ is very important. One difference to notice between this list and other identity-in-Christ lists is the existence of some ‘IF’ statements on the list, where certain aspects of our identity are based on our responses to God. This is very important – other identity-inChrist teachings ignore the biblical reality of these ‘IF’s. A. My relationship with God: 1. I am deeply loved by God. (Rom 5:8; John 3:16; 16:27) 2. I am a child of God. (John 1:12; Rom 8:14; Gal 3:26; 4:6) 3. Because of Christ’s death I can now approach God and be close to Him (Eph 2:13; Heb 10:19-22) – but I am not casual about this; I must submit to Him (James 4:7) and fear Him (Ps 111:10; Matt 10:28; 2 Cor 5:11; Heb 10:31; Heb 12:28-29; Rev 14:7). 4. I am a slave of Christ, to do His will (not my own). (1 Cor 7:22; Eph. 3:1; 4:1; Rom 1:1) 5. I am a saint, which means I am one of God’s people. (Eph. 1:1; 1 Cor. 1:2; Phil. 1:1; Col. 1:2) 6. Christ will be my friend IF I love and serve Him instead of the world. (John 15:14-15; James 4:4) 7. God loves to hear and answer my prayers. (Matt 7:7-11; John 16:24; 1 Pet 5:7) B. My value as a person: 1. I have tremendous value and worth because I am made in God’s image. (Gen 1:26-27) 2. I am God’s workmanship, His masterpiece and His handiwork. (Eph. 2:10; Ps 139:1316) 3. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (Ps 139:14) 4. I am not an accident. (Ps 139:16; Eph 1:4) 5. I am chosen. (John 15:16) 6. I have been bought at an expensive price (Jesus’ blood); I am not my own, I belong to Christ. (1 Cor. 6:19-20) 7. I am a temple, a dwelling place of God, His Spirit and His life lives in me! (1 Cor. 3:16; 6:19) C. My behavior: 1. I fear God. (Ps 111:10; Matt 10:28; 2 Cor 5:11; Heb 10:31; Heb 12:28-29; Rev 14:7) 2. I hate sin. (Ps 97:10; Prov 8:13; Rom 12:9) 3. I am responsible for all of my actions – no one else is to blame for the things I do, say and think. (Matt 15:19; Mk 7:21) 4. I will give an account to God some day for every one of my actions, as well as the words I speak. (Rom 14:12; Matt 12:36; Matt 16:27; 2 Cor 5:10; Heb 10:30; Rev 3:23) TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 107 5. I am responsible for putting to death my sinful nature (Rom 8:13; Col 3:5); if I do, I will be rewarded (Matt 10:42; Lk 6:35; 1 Cor 3:14) – but if I don’t I will face discipline (Heb 12:5-11) or even judgment (Heb 10:26-31). 6. I am pursuing holiness and righteousness, in fact I ‘make every effort.’ (2 Cor 7:1; Heb 4:11; 12:14; 1 Tim 6:11; 2 Tim 2:22; 2 Pet 3:14) 7. I am not yet perfect (1 John 1:8-10; Phil 3:12-14; James 3:2), but I press hard for holiness (2 Pet 3:14), repenting of my sins whenever I fail (1 John 1:9; 2 Chron 7:14). 8. WHEN I repent of my sins, no condemnation awaits me for those sins. (Rom 8:1; 2 Chron 7:14; 1 John 1:9) 9. God is working on me to make me holy. (Heb 12:10-11; Phil 2:13) 10. I am called to be holy. (1 Pet 1:15-16; Heb 12:14; 1 Thess 4:7) 11. God will succeed in making me holy (it is ‘predestined’) IF I continue in Him. (Eph 1:4; Rom 8:29; Rom 11:22) 12. I am set free from the power of sin that leads to death (Rom 8:2), but I must choose to activate that power by putting to death the deeds of the flesh (Rom 8:13), and by dying daily to my sinful/selfish desires. (Lk 9:23) 13. I must choose to die to myself each day. (Lk 9:23) 14. I am a brand-new creation (2 Cor. 5:17) IF I renew my mind (Rom 12:2) and set my mind on the things of the Spirit (Rom 8:5-6). D. My mission & destiny: 1. The most important things God requires of me are to love mercy, do justice and walk humbly with Him. (Mic 6:8) 2. The most important thing I can do in life is love people with my words and actions. (Matt 22:38-39; 1 Cor 13; 1 John 4:7-8; 11-12) 3. I am an important and necessary member of Christ’s Body. (1 Cor. 12:12-31) 4. My gifts, talents and abilities are needed in the church. (1 Cor 12:12-31) 5. God has important work for me to do. (Eph 2:10) 6. Small things done faithfully for God bring great reward. (Matt 10:42) 7. Only when I am faithful in small things does God trust me with bigger things. (Matt 25:21,23; Lk 16:10-11) E. The resources at my disposal: 1. I am blessed with every spiritual blessing in Christ. (Eph. 1:3) 2. The same power that conquered the grave lives in me. (Rom 8:11; Eph 1:19-20) 3. Christ Himself is living in me. (Col 1:27; Rev 3:20) 4. Prayer: a) I can come boldly to God and ask Him for help. (Heb 4:16) TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 108 b) When I persist in prayer all my prayers get answered (Matt 7:7-8; Lk 11:5-10) – even impossible ones (Matt 19:26; 21:21-22) . . . provided I am not asking for selfish things out of my love for the world (James 4:3-4). c) My prayers have tremendous power to change people, circumstances and events (James 5:16-18) . . . provided I confess my sins (James 5:16a) and walk in righteousness (James 5:16b). d) If I ask God for wisdom and direction, He will give it to me (James 1:5; Prov 2:1-7) . . . provided I believe and persist instead of doubting and giving up (James 1:6-8). F. My relationship to this world and the devil: 1. I rejoice in all the trials and struggles I face in this world because they form my character (James 1:2-4), and God turns each one for my good IF I genuinely love Him and want to please Him (Rom 8:28). 2. IF I obey Christ, then I am more than a conqueror in every trial, tribulation and obstacle that life throws at me. (Rom 8:37-39) 3. I am an alien and stranger to this world in which I temporarily live – I don’t fit here. (1 Pet 2:11) 4. If I truly follow Jesus, this world will hate and reject me. (Matt 10:22; John 15:18-20) 5. I must not love this world, or any of the things in it, because it is all passing away and will not satisfy me. (1 John 2:15-17) 6. WHEN I am submitted to God the devil must flee from me, and cannot harm me. (James 4:8; 1 John 5:18) 7. WHEN I am submitted to God I have authority over the evil one. (Lk 9:1; 10:19) https://cdn.mysouthland.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Identity-in-Christ-statements.pdf Note: God’s Design for Marriage: One man and one woman (Gen 2:24; Eph 5:31; Matt 19:46) Marriage is between a man and a woman. This is how God has created humankind. A society may call a relationship between two people of the same sex “marriage”; but in the sight of God it can never be so. Marriage is between one man and one woman. Polygamy in the Old Testament is recorded but never affirmed. Jesus explicitly affirms the Genesis order of one man and one woman (e.g. Matt. 19:5–6 “no longer two, but one flesh”). https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/essay/biblical-view-marriage/ TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 109 APPENDIX D: Background Questionnaire Instructions: Please fill in the blanks for the following questions with either Y (Yes) or N (No). If you have any questions about any of your responses, feel free to send your questions when you return the questionnaire. 1. My verbal skills in English is sufficient for an interview. ___ Husband ___Wife (Y = Yes; N = No) 2. We have been married to each other for the past ten years. ___ 3. I am 26 years old or older. ___ Husband ___Wife 4. I have read and agree with the “My Identity and Inheritance in Christ” faith statement as a good expression of my personal faith commitments and views on marriage. ___ Husband ___ Wife 5. I would describe that our marriage as a relationship that shows growth in the areas of spiritual well-being, emotional maturity, and sacrificial love. ___ Husband ___Wife 6. I have read through the questions in the Relationship Flourishing Scale and genuinely believe that these questions describe our marriage well. ___ Husband ___Wife 7. I am comfortable with discussing my personal background and our marriage relationship in an interview with the researcher. ___ Husband ___ Wife 8. I would describe myself as having healed sufficiently from past wounds so that the discussion of difficult topics would not be too distressing in the interview. ___ Husband ___ Wife How many years have you been married? ________________________________ Please answer the following questions in your own words: TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES (a) Please describe your personal and social backgrounds in important areas for you as a couple: (b) Please include in your descriptions your age, socioeconomic status, education, racial, ethnic, and cultural backgrounds, as well as faith background: By signing this document, you agree that your answers are an accurate description of you. Name: ___________________________ Date: ______________________ Name: ___________________________ Date: ______________________ Thank you so much for taking interest in this study and for sharing your information with us. You will be contacted by e-mail if you are requested to participate in the full interviews. Please send the completed forms to Georgia Jackett. 110 TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 111 APPENDIX E: Relationship Flourishing Scale Relationship Flourishing Scale by Fowers et al (2016) Directions: This scale is for your own personal use to help you gauge your relational maturity. Please take time to read the list below and rate where you are personally at on a scale of 1 – 10 for each item. When you feel as though you have answered genuinely, please use this scale to reflect on how your marriage has or has not experienced transformation over the years. 1. I have more success in my important goals because of my partner’s help. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2. We look for activities that help us to grow as a couple. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3. My partner has helped me to grow in ways that I could not have done on my own. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4. It is worth it to share my most personal thoughts with my partner. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5. When making important decisions, I think about whether it will be good for our relationship. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6. It is natural and easy for me to do things that keep our relationship strong. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7. Talking with my partner helps me to see things in new ways. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8. I make it a point to celebrate my partner’s successes. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 9. I really work to improve our relationship. 1 2 3 4 5 6 9 10 10. My partner shows interest in things that are important to me. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11. We do things that are deeply meaningful to us as a couple. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 12. I make time when my partner needs to talk. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 10 7 8 8 9 TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 112 APPENDIX F: E-mail to Key Informants A Project on Equipping Christian Marriages (Name of key informants) (E-mail of key informant) (Date that e-mail is sent) Dear (names of key informants), I hope this e-mail finds you well. I am reaching out to you because I am looking for a few couples who are willing to help me recruit participants for my research project for my thesis work. The research question that I have constructed is: “How are your spiritual growth, emotional maturity, and deep love for each other playing a part in your marriage? How do the fruits of devotion to Jesus show up in your life and relationships?” The purpose of my study is to provide researchers, counsellors, pastors, and mentors with current research that investigates how Christian couples experience transformation in their faith and relationships. My personal experience is that as a Christian, my personal relationship with Jesus is core to my identity and has been an integral piece in my spiritual journey, my marriage, and my emotional maturity. I know that this is the case for many others who share the Christian faith. My desire is to have couples share their stories with me and to learn how each couple has gone through the stages of formation, maintenance, and transformation in the areas of spiritual growth, emotional maturity, and sacrificial love. This is how the process will work: 1) If you and your spouse agree to be a “key informant couple”, you will be asked to brainstorm five different Christian couples who you personally know that have experienced transformation in their marriage. Please e-mail me back with your response and the names of the couples. 2) If you have agreed to be a key informant couple, I will send you the (a) letter to volunteers, and (b) a recruitment poster. These two documents will need to be forwarded by you to each of the couples that you want to nominate. 3) When the couples receive the e-mails, they will be informed that just because they have been nominated it does not mean that they are required to participate in the study. This is still completely optional for them. If they are interested in participating, they can e-mail me back and I will take it from there. This is all described in the letter that you will send them. Here are some important characteristics for couples that we hope will participate in this study: 1) They are comfortable speaking English in an interview. 2) They have been married to each other for at least the past ten years, in a monogamous, heterosexual marriage relationship. 3) They are both at least 26 years old. 4) Both spouses would describe themselves as devoted Christians. TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 113 5) Their marriage relationship has experienced growth in the areas of spiritual well-being, emotional maturity, and marital quality. 6) Both spouses are comfortable with discussing their personal background and would describe themselves as having healed sufficiently from past wounds so that difficult topics would not create excessive distress when they are discussed. As you brainstorm the five couples who would fit these criteria, please try to include couples of diverse factors such as different lengths of marriage relationships, ethnic and cultural backgrounds, ages, and socioeconomic status. Please let me know if you are willing to consider being a key informant couple in this research. I’d be more than happy to discuss any questions you might have about the research project over a Zoom meeting. Thank you so much for your time. Blessings, Georgia Jackett MA Student of Counselling Psychology Trinity Western University TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 114 APPENDIX G: Recruitment Poster Included in the social media platform posts: We are researching how Christian couples experience transformation in their marriages. Participants must be married to each other for at least ten years who have experienced transformation in their marriage quality, emotional maturity, and spiritual journey together as a couple. Participation involves a background questionnaire, a two-hour interview via Zoom, and a brief follow-up interview. Spouses will be interviewed together. As a thank-you for participating, you will receive a $30.00 Starbucks gift card. To participate or learn more, please e-mail for more information. Photo courtesy of Christy Johnston TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 115 APPENDIX H: E-mail to Nominated Couples Sent from Key Informants A Project on Equipping Christian Marriages (Name of participants) (E-mail of participants) (Date that e-mail is sent) Dear (names of participants), My name is Georgia Jackett, and I am currently taking my master’s degree in Counselling Psychology at Trinity Western University in Langley, BC. I am planning a research project to study relationships regarding faith, emotional maturity, and marital quality. The research question that I have constructed is: “How are your spiritual growth, emotional maturity, and deep love for each other playing a part in your marriage? How do the fruits of devotion to Jesus show up in your life and relationships?” You are receiving this e-mail because you have been nominated by one of the key informants for this research project. Just because you have been nominated, you are not required to participate in this study. This is completely optional for you, and if you are interested in participating, please e-mail me back and let me know. My research project will need 6-10 couples who are willing to participate in the study. The purpose of my study is to provide researchers, counsellors, pastors, and mentors with current research that investigates how Christian couples experience transformation in their faith and relationships. My personal experience is that as a Christian, my relationship with Jesus is core to my identity and has been an integral piece in my spiritual journey, my marriage, and my emotional maturity. I know that this is the case for many others who share the Christian faith. My desire is to have couples share their stories with me and to learn how each couple has gone through the stages of formation, maintenance, and transformation in the areas of spiritual growth, emotional maturity, and sacrificial love. Please let me know if you are willing to consider participating in this research. I’d be more than happy to discuss any questions you might have about the research project over a Zoom meeting. For your information, my thesis supervisor is Marvin McDonald, Ph.D., and he can be contacted at 1(604) 513-2034. Thank you so much for your time. Blessings, Georgia Jackett MA Student of Counselling Psychology Trinity Western University TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 116 APPENDIX I: Welcome E-mail to Volunteers who Have Reached Out Hi (names of volunteers), Thank you so much for showing interest in my research project. All of the couples who are volunteering for this project are invited to fill out the background questionnaire and sign the consent form. Please send that back to Georgia Jackett. We will then be contacting people for interviews from those who have forwarded these documents. Here is a summary of what I’m asking you to do for your next step in this process: • Read over and sign the Consent Form (please sign and send the signed copy back by email) • Review and fill out the Background Questionnaire (fill out and send the completed copy back by e-mail) o This includes reviewing both the Identity and Inheritance in Christ statement, as well as self-evaluating the maturity of your relationship using the Relationship Flourishing Scale. Thank you so much for your time, it is greatly appreciated. Warmly, Georgia Jackett MA Student of Counselling Psychology Trinity Western University TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 117 APPENDIX J: Consent Form Transformation in Narratives of Generative Devotion for Christian Couples Principal Investigator: Georgia Jackett, Masters of Counselling Psychology, Trinity Western University. This research is part of a thesis (public document). Co-Investigator: Marvin McDonald, Ph.D., Masters of Counselling Psychology, Trinity Western University, (604) 513 – 2034. Purpose: The purpose of this research is to hear how you have experienced transformation in your marriage, spiritual journey, and emotional maturity. We want to understand how the fruits of devotion to Jesus show up in your life and relationships. If you have been nominated to participate, it is likely that you identify as a Christian and have a flourishing marriage relationship. Procedures: You will be asked to fill out a background questionnaire and self-define your cultural identity. You will also be asked to assess your relationship, as well as confirm that the document provided on faith and marriage is an accurate description of your beliefs. Two formal interactions will take place. The first will be an online two-hour interview where the researcher will interview you about your relationship. The second interaction will be an online meeting where you can confirm that the data is accurate. You will also be given the opportunity in the second interaction to debrief about your experience. Potential Risks and Discomforts: This research may involve questions about personal and sensitive issues that could create psychological or emotional risks for you. Both spouses will need to agree that they are each comfortable with discussing personal backgrounds and marriage relationship history. You will need to describe yourselves as having healed from past wounds to the point that difficult topics would not create excessive distress when they are discussed in the interview. For example, having a recent marital argument between spouses might create problems with maintaining honesty, openness, and depth of conversation during the interview. Other problematic examples that could come up may include differing spiritual views, past/current pornography addictions, unresolved conflicts, etc. Should any of these difficult topics arise during the interview, you will have the option to either stop the interview or take time to decide whether or not you want to discuss these topics in the interview. I will take responsibility as an interviewer to support participants in drawing relational boundaries between us if sensitive topics arise during the interview. Potential Benefits to Participants and/or to Society: A direct benefit for couples is that it is possible for your relationship to be strengthened by the interviewing process as it gives you an opportunity to reflect back on the positive transformation you have experienced in your marriage relationship. The community that will be studied will benefit when the research project has been completed, to learn what has helped people from their community experience transformation in their marriage, faith, and patterns of co-regulation. Studying a specific faith community will benefit not only the community itself but also will enrich the theories of scholars. Researchers, TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 118 mentors, therapists, pastors, and married Christian couples can learn from this research project to understand how transformation looks specifically in the lives of Christian couples. Confidentiality: Any information that is obtained in connected with this study and that can be identified with you will remain confidential and will be disclosed only with your permission or as required by law. The files, recordings, and transcripts will be stored on an encrypted USB that is password protected. The video recordings will be disposed of five years after the thesis has been published, and the transcripts will be retained in an anonymized form permanently. Compensation: If you are selected to participate in this study you will receive a $30.00 gift card to thank you for your time. Once you have been selected, the gift card will be sent to your mailing address. If you choose to withdraw from the study, you can still keep the gift card. Contact for Information about the Study: If you have any questions or desire further information with respect to this study, you may contact Georgia Jackett. Contact for Concerns about the Rights of Research Participants: If you have any concerns about your treatment or rights as a research participant, you may contact Elizabeth Kreiter in the Office of Research, Trinity Western University at (604) 513 – 2167. Consent: Your participation in this study is entirely voluntary and you may refuse to participate or withdraw from the study at any time without jeopardy. If you choose to withdraw at any point from the study, please send Georgia Jackett an e-mail stating so. Withdrawal from the study will no longer be possible a week after the debriefing meeting has occurred. Data that is gathered from participants who choose to withdraw will be deleted immediately. Signatures Your signature below indicates that you have had your questions about the study answered to your satisfaction and have received a copy of this consent form for your own records. Your signature indicates that you consent to participate in this study and that your responses may be put in anonymous form and kept for further use after the completion of this study. __________________________________________ Research Participant Signature (Husband) ____________________ Date __________________________________________ Research Participant Signature (Wife) ____________________ Date Printed Names of the Research Participants signing above TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 119 APPENDIX K: E-mail Sent to Selected Participants Dear (Names of Participants), Thank you so much for showing interest in this research project. I would like to invite you to participate in an interview for this study. Could you please e-mail me back three different dates/times that are your preferred time slots to Zoom. This interview will need a time slot of two hours. I look forward to hearing from you. Warmly, Georgia Jackett MA Student of Counselling Psychology Trinity Western University TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 120 APPENDIX L: Second Interview Script Part A: Follow Up Script The follow up interview script is clarifying the participants’ perceptions of the preliminary form of the analysis of their interview. 1) What comes to mind from your review of the preliminary results from your interview? a. Your story is the most important piece of the interview. Your corrections are very helpful for me (so that I can get the most accurate results for this research). Can you help me reword, clarify, and/or correct the preliminary results from your interview? b. Are you okay for me to use your interview as part of my thesis research? Part B: Debriefing Script The debriefing process asks the participants to reflect on their participation in the interviews and for them to be reminded of their control of the data, as well as their responses in the project. 1) Our research team would really like to know what this experience was like for you to participate in this study? 2) Are there any ways that participating in the interview has brought things up in your marital relationship? 3) How would you describe your participation in this project to a friend or family member? TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES 121 APPENDIX M: Interview Guide Questions Questions will be adapted to the specifics of a couple’s relationship. They can be adapted and modified to fit the style of each couple. Tentative guideline questions are: STORY • • • • What do you love the most about your spouse? If your marriage was a book, what would the title be called? Chapter titles? Who were the people involved in helping you build a faith-based marriage? If you had a shared mission, what would it be? SPIRITUALITY • • • What kind of spiritual activities do you do together? OR How do you encourage each other to grow spiritually? Has there ever been a time where God spoke to you or revealed Himself to you as a couple? o What is it like to experience this together? How has your personal relationship with Jesus played a role in your marriage? MARITAL QUALITY • • • In your own experience, what makes a really great marriage? What are specific things that your spouse does that make you feel loved? How do you choose to love each other when you don’t feel like it? EMOTIONAL MATURITY • • • • • Over the years, how have you learned to tune in to one another on an emotional level? o Or hold each other’s emotions? How has marriage refined your character? How do you successfully work through conflicts when you are feeling hurt or upset by the other person? What does transformation look like in your marriage? Is there a Bible verse that’s most significant to your marriage? TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES Appendix N: Table 1 Reprint Permission JOHN WILEY AND SONS LICENSE TERMS AND CONDITIONS Jan 05, 2022 This Agreement between Trinity Western University -- Georgia Jackett ("You") and John Wiley and Sons ("John Wiley and Sons") consists of your license details and the terms and conditions provided by John Wiley and Sons and Copyright Clearance Center. License Number 5222800201369 License date Jan 05, 2022 Licensed Content Publisher John Wiley and Sons Licensed Content Publication Journal of Family Theory & Review Licensed Content Title Generative Devotion: A Theory of Sacred Relational Care in Families of Faith Licensed Content Author David C. Dollahite, Loren D. Marks, Greg J. Wurm Licensed Content Date Aug 19, 2019 Licensed Content Volume 11 Licensed Content Issue 3 Licensed Content Pages 20 122 TRANSFORMATION IN NARRATIVES OF GENERATIVE DEVOTION FOR CHRISTIAN COUPLES Type of use Dissertation/Thesis Requestor type University/Academic Format Electronic Portion Figure/table Number of figures/tables 1 Will you be translating? No Title Transformation in Narratives of Generative Devotion for Christian Couples Institution name Trinity Western University Expected presentation date Feb 2022 Order reference number 20142022 Portions Table 1 on page 434: an adaptation of the table that includes the personal and generative devotion. 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