IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS by TIFFANY CARMICHAEL Bachelor of Arts, MacEwan University, 2021 Thesis Submitted in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of MASTER OF ARTS IN COUNSELLING PSYCHOLOGY in the FACULTY OF GRADUATE STUDIES TRINITY WESTERN UNIVERSITY November 2024 © Tiffany Carmichael, 2024 IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS The following committee members attest to the successful completion of this thesis Larissa Rossen, PhD, Thesis Advisor Mairi McDermott, PhD, Degree Committee Member Christine Bataille, PhD, Degree Committee Member ii IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS iii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Foremost, I wish to acknowledge that I, Tiffany Carmichael, is supported in part by funding from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council, which made completing this project possible. Additionally, this project could not have happened without quite a few amazing people and their support, and I wish to express my deep gratitude for all the individuals who contributed to the completion of this thesis. First, I would like to thank my supervisor, Dr. Larissa Rossen for her continuous warmth, encouragement, and laidback nature, which helped this project be relaxed and somewhat stress-free. Thank you for also helping me grow as a qualitative researcher. I would like to also thank the research team at Trinity Western University. Many thanks to Dr. Deepak Mathew and Dr. Marvin McDonald for being phenomenal teachers and helping me hone my research skills through their input and feedback regarding method, interview structure, and data analysis. I also would like to thank Talitha Roffel, who did not let any administration pieces slide and helped with the planning process and logistics. Next, I would like to thank my thesis committee. A huge thanks to Dr. Mairi McDermott and her investment as a second reader by giving thoughtful feedback, article and book recommendations, and helping me immerse in the qualitative research world and feminist thought. IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS iv Last, but definitely not least, I would like to thank my husband Steven, who supported me in every imaginable way. Thanks for believing in me, encouraging me, and growing with me in our knowledge of what it means to be parents, committed working professionals, and partners. IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS ABSTRACT Previous research emphasizes the challenges and bifurcation in career and home life that working mothers often encounter. Less is known about how working mothers integrate working and mothering into their identity. This qualitative study adopts a matricentric feminist pragmatic paradigm to explore the process of identity integration in working mothers. Participants consisted of seven working mothers who engaged in paid work when children were five years old and younger and identified as being content in working and mothering. Participants were interviewed using a semi-structured interview guide. Using narrative thematic analysis, four identity processes were produced, which consisted of “developing an expectant working mothering identity,” “experiencing motherhood as an identity disruption,” “integrating working and mothering,” and “maintaining a working mother identity.” These four identity processes encapsulate an additional 10 themes, which describe the specific actions that working mothers undertook to integrate work and motherhood into their identity. Keywords: Working mothers, narrative inquiry, identity integration v IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS vi TABLE OF CONTENTS ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ..................................................................................................... iii ABSTRACT .............................................................................................................................. v TABLE OF CONTENTS ......................................................................................................... vi LIST OF TABLES .................................................................................................................... x LIST OF FIGURES ................................................................................................................. xi CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION ............................................................................................. 1 Personal Rationale......................................................................................................... 8 Research Question......................................................................................................... 9 CHAPTER 2: LITERATURE REVIEW ................................................................................ 11 Theoretical Background on Identity ........................................................................... 11 Working Mothers and Identity Research .................................................................... 13 Identity Integration ...................................................................................................... 17 Integration Strategies ...................................................................................... 19 Narrative Identity Model ............................................................................................. 22 Aims of Study ............................................................................................................. 24 CHAPTER 3: METHOD ........................................................................................................ 27 Research Paradigm ...................................................................................................... 27 Researcher’s Position ...................................................................................... 28 Narrative Inquiry ......................................................................................................... 29 IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS vii Data Collection ........................................................................................................... 31 Participant Recruitment................................................................................... 31 Participant Selection ....................................................................................... 33 Exclusion & Inclusion Criteria ....................................................................... 35 Collecting the Data.......................................................................................... 37 Data Analysis .............................................................................................................. 38 Debriefing the Study ....................................................................................... 42 Trustworthiness ........................................................................................................... 43 Rigour.............................................................................................................. 43 CHAPTER 4: FINDINGS ....................................................................................................... 46 Process 1: Developing an Expectant Working Mother Identity ................................. 48 Theme 1: Reflecting on Childhood Mothering Experiences .......................... 48 Theme 2: Avoiding Emotional Incongruency ................................................. 50 Process 2: Experiencing Identity Disruption in Becoming a Mother ......................... 52 Theme 3: Reflecting on “I Didn’t Know” ....................................................... 52 Theme 4: Finding Identity Anchors ................................................................ 53 Process 3: Establishing Integration of Working and Mothering ................................. 54 Theme 5: Accepting New Limitations ............................................................ 55 Subtheme 6: Developing Values & A Narrative Toward Shared Caregiving 58 IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS viii Subtheme 7: New Flexibility & Changing Work Situations .......................... 60 Process Four: Maintaining Integration of Working and Mothering ........................... 62 Theme 8: Identifying with Working and Mothering ....................................... 62 Theme 9: Adjusting to Accommodate Change ............................................... 65 Theme 10: “I’m Not at my Ideal Yet” ............................................................ 67 Contextual Themes ..................................................................................................... 69 Workplaces...................................................................................................... 69 Families & Partners ......................................................................................... 71 Summary ..................................................................................................................... 71 CHAPTER 5: DISCUSSION .................................................................................................. 73 Significance ................................................................................................................. 73 Process One ..................................................................................................... 73 Process Two .................................................................................................... 77 Process Three .................................................................................................. 79 Process Four .................................................................................................... 82 Implications ................................................................................................................. 85 Personal Reflection ..................................................................................................... 87 Limitations & Future Research ................................................................................... 92 Summary ..................................................................................................................... 93 IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS ix REFERENCES........................................................................................................................ 95 APPENDIX A: Recruitment Poster ...................................................................................... 109 APPENDIX B: Phone Screening Interview .......................................................................... 110 APPENDIX C: Informed Consent ........................................................................................ 111 APPENDIX D: Demographic Questionnaire ........................................................................ 114 APPENDIX E: First Interview Guide ................................................................................... 115 APPENDIX F: Second Interview Guide ............................................................................... 119 APPENDIX G: Debriefing Script ......................................................................................... 120 APPENDIX H: Data Analyst Confidentiality Agreement .................................................... 121 IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS x LIST OF TABLES TABLE 1: PARTICIPANT DEMOGRAPHICS……………………………………………31 TABLE 2: PROCESSES AND THEMES………………………………………………….47 IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS xi LIST OF FIGURES FIGURE 1: PHASE THREE CODING – CANDIDATE THEMES…….………………….42 CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION Matricentric feminism begins with the conviction that mothering matters, and it is central to the lives of those who identify as mothers. In saying this, I am not suggesting that mothering is all that matters or that it matters the most; but rather any understanding of mothers’ lives is incomplete without a consideration of how becoming and being a mother shape a woman’s sense of self and how she sees and lives in the world. (O’Reilly, 2019, p. 14) For many babies, “mama” is their first word uttered, yet this surprisingly simple title of “mother, mama, mommy” represents a complicated entity. Most dictionaries define a mother as a parent in relation to her child, someone who gives birth or cares for and protects a child (Merriam Webster, n.d.). This definition demonstrates that being a mother is relational, an embodied experience, and involves mothering work. However, this definition also includes embedded assumptions about what makes a mother. Although this definition captures facets of motherhood and might align with one’s perception of mothers or experiences of being a mother, not all mothers will fit this description. Not all mothers give birth, and some individuals who do give birth do not identify with being a mother. Not every mother has the opportunity to do mothering work, yet some individuals would deeply identify with being a mother. Some individuals might experience being a mother as an embodied experience and engage in mothering work, but identifying as a mother is still a gradual and ambivalent process. In a study that examined maternal identity among women who experienced perinatal loss, participants reported struggling to identify with being a mother after the death of their child (Rossen et al., 2023). Rossen et al. (2023) propose a broader definition of motherhood is needed to capture diverse mothering experiences. IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS Given the numerous complex, diverse, and individualized mothering experiences, studying maternal identity presents novel research opportunities for our understanding of motherhood. O’Reilly (2019) argues that motherhood is an incomplete work of feminism because once women become mothers, workplaces, families, and policies are more likely to discard egalitarian practices. O’Reilly (2019) proposes a matricentric feminism that centres on the unique experiences of a mother’s role and identity is needed to empower mothers in social, political, economic, and psychological spheres. The present study examines what is like to be and identify as a working mother. In particular, this study examines identity development in working mothers from the perspectives of working mothers with young children. Studying the experience of being a mother has been overdue in psychology (Athan & Reel, 2015). Psychology disciplines tend to emphasize how mothering influences child relationships (Assel et al., 2002), mothers at risk (Jaffee et al., 2001), or women who develop pathology during perinatal and postpartum periods (Grace et al., 2003); therefore, psychology has largely neglected the experience of mothers who are not distressed. Few studies focus on mothers who demonstrate positive identity integration. This study contributes to the literature by using a strengths-based approach that looks at developing a mother's identity within a normative context: Working mothers with young children who are generally content with both roles of working and mothering. Today, working as a mother is the norm. In Canada, dual-income households have almost doubled in the last 40 years due to an increasing number of women joining the workforce (Statistics Canada, 2016). Recently, the percentage of mothers in the workforce with children younger than six years climaxed at 72% from 2019 to 2021 (Statistics Canada, 2 IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 3 2024). This percentage is a stark contrast from the mid-1970s when approximately only onethird of mothers participated in the workforce. These statistics suggest a major sociocultural shift in parenting and workplace spheres as most mothers with young children engage in paid work. The significant increase in mothers joining the workforce has debunked traditional views and concerns regarding gender, parenting, working, and childhood outcomes, such as viewing mothers as the “natural parent” or that women are happiest at home (Barnett et al., 2018). When women joined the workforce in droves in the 1970s and onwards, researchers suggested a scarcity hypothesis that proposed that women would experience stress and energy depletion by having multiple roles of wife, mother, and worker (Barnett et al., 2018). The scarcity hypothesis still receives attention in the popular press (Barratt, 2023; Dowling, 2018), although it has received less empirical support (Barnett et al., 2018). Instead, the extant research demonstrates that multiple roles serve as a buffer to stress, vulnerability, anxiety, and depression (Barnett et al., 2018; Hill & Holmes, 2019). Having multiple roles offers increased social connection, satisfaction, and resources. Baruch and Barnett (1986) demonstrated that women who occupy all three roles of wife, mother, and worker had the highest level of well-being compared to their single, unmarried or divorced, and unemployed female counterparts. This study found that working outside the home was the most closely linked to well-being in women compared to other roles of partner or mother. Staying in the workforce after having children significantly influences a woman’s health. Wethington and Kessler (1989) employed a longitudinal study demonstrating that stay-at-home mothers had a greater likelihood of mental health problems than women who stayed in the workforce after having children. Additionally, a recent study demonstrated that IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 4 stay-at-home mothers experienced more stress than working mothers during the COVID-19 pandemic (Nadri et al., 2024). A longitudinal study on women’s work pathways also suggests that women who stay employed after having children have better physical and psychological health later in life than those who interrupted work to engage in non-paid work (Frech & Damaske, 2012). More mothers engaging in the workforce demonstrates that working is a vital aspect of many women’s daily lives and assists their physical and mental well-being. Although the workforce, family structures, and society have shifted considerably to be more gender equitable since the 1970s, working mothers still face challenges. There are still gendered differences in workplaces that specifically impact mothers. The pay gap between mothers and nonmothers is more significant than between women and men (Loughran & Zissimopoulos, 2009; Zhang, 2009), with mothers earning significantly less over their lifetime than childless women. Additionally, once a woman becomes a mother, many colleagues and employers doubt her commitment to work (Barnett et al., 2018) and are less likely to be hired (Cheung et al., 2022). In comparison, men with children are rewarded for their parenting status and offered more promotions, work responsibilities, and earnings. Many workplace structures are antiquated, not family-friendly, and reflect traditional roles of working father and a stay-at-home mother. This antiquation is evident in workplaces scheduling long working hours and lack of sufficient care or onsite childcare, leaves of absence, and sick days. Moreover, school hours do not align with the standard nine to five workday (Voght, 2018). Disparity between school and workday hours differentially affects mothers because of traditional gender roles and expectations that assume that mothers will take on the primary caregiving role and logistics of childcare. IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 5 These gender role expectations also affect home life for mothers. Regarding family roles, men participate in more housework and caregiving than in the past (Barnett et al., 2018), but women still shoulder the brunt of the household and parenting tasks. Mothers report experiencing the “mental load” of being a mother, which describes the cognitive and emotional efforts toward managing a household and rearing children (Dean et al., 2021). The mental load can affect physical and mental health and interfere with sleep and leisure time. Although mothers may actively work to decrease or share the burden of the mental load, often cultural norms continue to perpetuate the primacy of the mother. This futility is demonstrated in mothers who share being the first person called when daycares or schools report concerns over a child’s health, even when not listed as the primary contact (Buzard et al., 2023). Mothers also face cultural narratives toward their role as mothers that perpetuate unreasonable standards. John Bowlby, the father of attachment theory, researched housing challenged and delinquent children. Bowlby proposed that if toddlers and their mother figure were separated for even brief periods, they would develop social and psychological problems (Bowlby, 1944). Bowlby’s (1944) research expanded our understanding of the relationship between attachment and developmental issues. However, Bowlby’s theory failed to take into account the context of children’s and mothers’ circumstances while emphasizing that maternal deprivation caused delinquency, which influenced the practice of centring the sole responsibility of parenting on mothers and an increase in mother blaming (Ross, 2016). This emphasis further amplified psychology’s interest in examining problematic mothers. In the 1990s, The National Institute of Child Health (NICHD) in the United States employed a longitudinal study examining the effect of nonmaternal care on child outcomes by assessing IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 6 parents, home environment, and child behaviours. The results of this study debunked the primacy of maternal care on children’s development (NICHD Early Care Research Network, 2006). Child behaviours included cognitive, emotional, and language development, social behaviour, relationships with mothers, and health. The study revealed there was no difference between children who were cared for exclusively by their mothers compared to those who were cared for by other caregivers. This study found that mothering quality was a stronger predictor of children’s outcomes than early or extensive nonmaternal care. Moreover, various initiatives are beginning to promote a village caregiving model to support families and children, which is a caregiving approach often found in non-Western societies (Reupert et al., 2022). Since the publication of the NICHD longitudinal study, researchers have moved from focusing on who provides childcare to examining how the quality of childcare influences children’s development (Barnett et al., 2018). Although scholars proposed that quality caregivers are sufficient for a child’s healthy development, dominant sociocultural messages along with the popular press continues to emphasize and idealize the mother’s role. Intensive mothering is a cultural narrative that maintains that a mother should be the primary caregiver of her children, place the needs of her family above her own, delay career endeavours, and be solely responsible for her children’s developmental outcomes (Hays 1996; Verniers et al., 2022). Mothers sometimes feel pressured to align their work and caregiving situations with dominant cultural narratives by selecting friendships, work situations, and caregiving solutions that correspond with idealized mothering messages (Crowley, 2014). However, mothers who accept and endorse intensive mothering ideals typically experience poorer IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 7 mental health, higher stress levels, and less life satisfaction (Forbes et al., 2021; Gunderson & Barrett, 2017). Similarly, Choi et al. (2007) found that common ideologies of motherhood present mothers as being “superwomen and supermoms,” which propose that women naturally know how to take care of their children and are continuously self-sacrificial. Mom-as-superwoman narratives often leave new mothers disenfranchised with their reality of motherhood and the unexpected hardships experienced in their role. These overarching cultural narratives about motherhood tend to produce an unrealistic societal expectation for mothers, especially working mothers, who choose to also fulfill work obligations outside the home. Women may respond in various ways to the challenges of combining work with family. After having children, some women leave their working roles (Ross, 2016). This trend is documented in research examining women in prestigious positions, such as lawyers, doctors, and computer scientists, who leave their work after becoming mothers (Ross, 2016). There is also an increase in “tradwife” social media content where influencers showcase their perception of pursuing a “traditional role as a mother and homemaker” (Simpson, 2024). Paradoxically, many of these influencers generate income through content creation and thereby are navigating modern platforms and economies to sustain a domestic lifestyle while claiming to reject modern feminist expectations of gender work equality. Furthermore, for Black and Indigenous communities, and for those who require income, staying home was never a tradition, revealing entrenched patriarchal and colonial influences on gendered imbalances between home and work in “tradwife” ideals (McKinley et al., 2021; Smith, 1985). IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 8 In contrast, one-third of Canadians choose not to have children (Statistics Canada, 2024). Many women are wrestling with the prospect of balancing working and parenting roles and responsibilities and are increasingly choosing to remain childless as a result of the incompatibility between these two roles. This trend is not unique to Canada, as most highincome nations have reported decreasing patterns in childbearing (Provencher & Galbraith, 2004); however, fertility is greater in Canadian provinces with secure job opportunities and supportive parenting social policies (Beaujot et al., 2013). Researchers who focus on the women who opt into both career and family find that issues of identity are often essential when committing to both family and work (Cohen et al., 2009; Radcliffe et al., 2022; Svensson & Frisén, 2021; Wayne et al., 2006). Constructing an identity about work and family is pivotal in explaining personal choices and values in committing to combining work and family (Svensson & Frisén, 2021). Although the challenges and bifurcation in work and family that working mothers experience need attention, limited research has examined the working mothers who integrate working and mothering and how they have constructed a meaningful working mother identity. Personal Rationale I naively stumbled upon this research topic through a graduate course in career counselling. I wrote a research paper on how maternity leave affects women’s careers because I was beginning to grapple with entering a new phase in my own life. Specifically, I was questioning how I would merge two desires that seemed incompatible: Becoming a mother and pursuing a fulfilling career that I had worked long and hard to enter. Through this research paper, I learned that becoming a mother causes an identity change for women. I also learned the myriad of challenges that mothers face in the workplace, which I had not IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 9 encountered yet as a childless woman. During my review of the literature, I became discouraged by what I learned about being a working mother. However, the stubborn optimist in me refused to bend to the idea that only conflict and discontentment awaited me as a potential working mother, and I began to wonder whether there were women who were not conflicted about their dual roles. I became curious about the process these working mothers undertook to become content with their work and mothering and how this aided in developing a congruent working mother identity. Given the focus on women who are content with their working mother status, this study is inherently strengths-based. I propose that identity integration of working and mothering is more than the absence of difficulties or conflict. I imagine there are working mothers who do not succumb to the demands of intensive mothering, cultural scripts, and systemic challenges, but rather employ specific tactics and mindsets with available resources to help integrate working and mothering into a coherent identity. By using a strength-based approach, my aim is not to diminish the challenges that working mothers experience or silence the need for changes in workplaces, homes, and culture. Rather, I hope this project offers hope and vitality for the many working mothers who might need an encouraging perspective and for the young women who are contemplating mothering and career choices. Logistically, combining a strengths-based approach while acknowledging difficulties will not hide participants’ struggles but will use growth language that focuses on the resourcefulness and process of participants. Research Question With this aim in mind, this project askes the following research question: How do working mothers with young children, who are generally content in motherhood and work, IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 10 construct a narrative working mother identity? This research explores how participants (a) develop narratives of what it means to be a working mother while working outside the home with children five years old or younger, and (b) the process of integrating mothering and working into their identity. Regarding the context of this specific study, the participants are working mothers with biological children who engaged in paid employment when children were five years old and younger and identified as being mostly content in working and mothering roles. All participants are in heteronormative, partnered relationships and had post-secondary education. Additionally, all participants are located in North America and the study is influenced by a North American perspective and framework. I situate the reader with this background to understand that the findings of this research do not encapsulate the experience of all mothers or those who take on mothering work. I acknowledge that these are inherent limitations to this study, and yet I hope the findings of this research can be a catalyst for future studies that examine identity, working, and mothering among other subsets of mothers. IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 11 CHAPTER 2: LITERATURE REVIEW This chapter reviews the conceptualization and research that informs this study. First, I introduce the theoretical background of identity research and gaps within the identity literature that pertain to working mothers. Then, I review pertinent studies that examine working mothers’ identity development. Next, I propose why the integration of working and mothering is an important developmental task for working mothers and how identity integration can be researched and achieved. I close this chapter by discussing the aims of this study and how it contributes to the extant literature. Theoretical Background on Identity Identity researchers dispute many facets of identity, and there is no agreed-upon definition (McLean & Syed, 2015). However, how someone answers, “Who am I?” generally demonstrates one’s identity (Ashforth, 2001). Empirical research on identity began with Erik Erikson, the founder of developmental psychology (McLean & Syed, 2015). Pragmatists William James and George Hebert Mead influenced Erikson by theorizing that individuals develop a self-concept that upholds a sense of sameness over time (Hammack, 2014). These early pragmatists took a holistic view toward identity and viewed the self as pluralistic with multiple aspects, which included emotions, cognitions, and relationships to others. Although James and Mead differed in their views on the dominance of individualistic and social forces on identity development, they generally agreed that the self was a balance of agency and social construction, where individuals internally assess who they are and make choices accordingly while being influenced by their environments. Erikson (1968) proposed that identity development and integration is necessary for well-being, which has implications for the counselling profession. Healthy identity IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 12 development occurs when an individual achieves or works toward a sense of continuity of self across time and circumstances through identity work. Identity work describes the many processes that individuals undergo to construct a coherent and distinctive sense of self (Sveningsson & Alvesson, 2003). Often transitions, crises, challenges, or unexpected events spur identity work, where individuals work towards constructing, refining, integrating, maintaining, or repairing their identity. Empirical evidence suggests that adults have increased well-being if they are able to engage in identity work by integrating negative experiences into their life stories (Mitchell et al., 2021). In contrast, individuals who exhibit a lack of identity integration often struggle with an unstable view of self, which can influence the development of personality disorders, suicidality, and feelings of emptiness. Recent literature has demonstrated the multifaceted approach to identity work, which includes assessing the role of emotions in developing one’s identity (Winkler, 2016), although research regarding the relationship between emotions and identity work is less established. Stets (2015) argues that negative emotions arise when individuals are not able to act out their preferred identities and positive emotions occur when one’s identity is confirmed. Trettevik’s (2016) study demonstrated that greater discrepancies between one’s perceived identity and reality cause more intense emotional reactions. This study also found that an individual’s emotions play an important role in monitoring potential identity discrepancies and undergoing deliberate work to eliminate discrepancies. However, there remains much to be understood about the role of emotions in identity work. Specifically, Brown (2015) proposed that future research was needed to understand how the process of identity construction is influenced by emotions. Although there are under researched areas IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 13 regarding identity work, having a strong and integrated identity is generally viewed as aiding individuals with their sense of purpose, meaning, and psychological well-being. Having a strong and integrated identity also has implications regarding one’s work and family (Wayne et al., 2006). Wayne et al. (2006) employed a quantitative study which found that having a strong commitment to work and family identities influenced how enriched individuals felt in both domains. In this study, individuals that merely had dual roles, but did not identify strongly with their roles did not experience greater enrichment. This finding demonstrates that identity is a salient issue for well-being and experiencing positive spill-over in work and family domains. Since women often experience becoming a mother as a transition that transforms identity, work, and family, the present study examines the identity work of working mothers. Working Mothers and Identity Research Erikson (1968) proposed that individuals need to negotiate life tasks at each stage, which allows them to mature and enter the next stage of development (Erikson, 1968). Developing a sense of identity begins in adolescence and continues into adulthood. Engaging in identity work and developing a cohesive identity is considered to be a lifelong task (Habermas & Köber, 2015). Identity development research is needed because it is the primary psychosocial task for adolescence and emerging adulthood and matters for healthy development. Although identity research is an established field, most scholarship focuses on adolescents’ identity development (McLean & Syed, 2015). Research on identity development in adulthood is minimal, and there is a gap in the literature that examines mothers’ identity development. Erikson (1959) viewed adults as largely being in the maintenance phase of identity development by maintaining identity work accomplished in IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 14 adolescence. This view fails to account for how transformative becoming a mother can be one’s identity. Historically, psychology has neglected the psychological experience of being a mother by mainly viewing mothers as the mediators in creating successfully functioning children (Athan & Reel, 2015). Furthermore, psychology has focused on mothers who experience crisis or psychopathology while disregarding the adaptive psychological work women undergo moving from womanhood to motherhood. Being a mother is a critical segment of the lifespan that needs more study in the development and identity literature. Although scholarship on maternal identity is still in its infancy (Athan & Reel, 2015), Rubin’s (1984) work that examined over 6,000 new mothers, proposes that maternal identity is the sense of self one develops about being a mother. Mothering actions are pivotal in the role of a mother, but participants in Laney et al.’s (2015) study share that maternal identity requires identifying as a mother regardless of mothering acts. Mercer (2004) proposes that for many mothers, a sense of maternal identity forms during pregnancy and post-partum and continues as new mothers step into their identities. Pregnant participants in Bailey’s (1999) research described the transition to motherhood as amplifying one’s awareness of different parts of self. Similarly, Laney et al. (2015) found that women reported that developing a maternal identity intensified their personalities. Participants in Laney et al.’s (2015) study reported that becoming a mother caused an initial loss of self while expanding one’s selfconcept to incorporate children. These studies exemplify that becoming a mother is a turning point for many women. Not only does a mothering identity involve intensifying personality traits, awareness, and loss, but the changes it introduces can also be described as identity upheaval. Becoming a mother can include identity upheaval as women experience disorientation across multiple IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 15 domains of self. These domains include the physical changes that occur through one’s pregnant and postpartum body; the psychological changes that ensue with shifts in identity, self-esteem, and values; and the social changes that might happen with one’s status at work, family, and society (Athan & Reel, 2015). Identity upheaval when becoming a mother requires adaptation, much like other turning points in life. Laney et al. (2015) reports that women who experienced identity loss during the initial phases of becoming a mother reported engaging in more rigorous identity work that helped them later in life. Identity changes in becoming a mother can be growth-inducing when integrating a new mothering role into one’s identity fosters confidence and satisfaction (Laney et al., 2014). Studies demonstrate that in first-time working mothers, pregnancy is a critical period of identity development that affects their working selves (Hennekam, 2016; Ladge et al., 2012). Pregnancy can evoke uncertainties in women’s sense of self and work identity (Ladge et al., 2012). In the Ladge et al. (2012) study, pregnant participants shared that experiencing pregnancy caused them to evaluate how they wanted to be as mothers. Participants evaluated mothers in their lives and envisioned mothering and working statuses that would be personally the most fulfilling. Hennekam (2016) found that the presence of role models aided identity transition in pregnant women, specifically with how they envisioned integrating their future maternal self with their existing working self by seeing other working mothers as symbols of possibility. The importance of role models in aiding identification with being a working mother is also exemplified in a cross-national study by McGuinn et al. (2018) that explored the relationship between working mothers and their adult children’s work status outcomes. McGuinn et al. (2018) found that daughters of working mothers were more likely to be employed, have higher work responsibilities, and earn higher incomes. IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 16 Another extensively researched period in a mother’s identity transition is returning to work after having a child. Ladge and Greenberg (2015) examined how new mothers managed identity and efficacy uncertainties after returning to work after a 12-week maternity leave. Ladge and Greenberg (2015) found that new mothers managed their new identity by using different tactics to help them adjust to working and mothering. These tactics included revising their self-concept, which included accepting new limits on what they could do, creating identity priorities, learning from role models who modelled working and mothering, and learning from early resocialization experiences. Similarly, Hennekam et al. (2019) found that family-friendly work policies, role modelling from other working mothers, career aspirations, and partners’ support influenced identity development in working mothers who returned to work after their first child. Moreover, Spector and Cinamon (2017) found that women undergo identity exploration when becoming mothers, which shapes their career decisions. In Weins et al.’s (2023) study, participants reported that having children changed their view towards work by having healthier boundaries towards work-life balance and more attainable career ambitions. These studies demonstrate that pregnancy and returning to work after maternity leave are sensitive periods, where women’s working identities often momentarily destabilize as they adjust to new mothering responsibilities. During this phase, a woman’s sense of identity is impacted as she navigates how to effectively and meaningfully meet her roles as mother and professional (Ladge et al., 2015). For some working mothers, identity transition is a linear process from being childless to becoming a mother to learning the logistics of combining mothering and working (Garcia-Lorenzo et al., 2023). For other working moms, identity work requires constant navigation (Garcia-Lorenzo et al., 2023). Thus, examining IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 17 how women integrate working and mothering spheres into their self-concept is pivotal to understanding women’s identity development throughout a mother’s lifespan and not only during pregnancy or the first year of having a child. This assumption regarding women’s identity development is why the present study aims to look at working mothers’ identity construction in working mothers who are working with children aged five years old and younger rather than during pregnancy or immediately post maternity leave. Looking at identity development in mothers at this stage adds to our knowledge of how working mothers continually navigate matters of identity within work and family spheres. Identity Integration A notable construct for understanding working mothers’ identity development is integration. Identity integration describes how adults combine multiple parts of their identity into a cohesive self-concept (Erikson, 1968; Mitchell et al., 2021), which is salient to women who work and mother. Identity integration assists individuals’ sense of congruence and influences well-being, as individuals are more equipped to adapt to expected and unexpected life changes (Mitchell et al., 2021). Having an integrated self-concept allows individuals to be unthreatened by changes and confident in aspects of themselves across situations. If individuals do experience threats to their identity, identity integration enables them to search for self-sameness and continuity from the past that buffers from present stressors. Zagefka et al.’s (2021) study substantiated the importance of integration in working mothers. Zagefka et al. (2021) found that women with work and mothering identities had increased well-being scores compared to non-employed women. However, dual identities were only beneficial to well-being if there was not a perceived conflict between both identities. The perceived conflict between dual identities intensified the effects of job-related IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 18 stressors. Similarly, Kim (2020) found that identity integration between working and mothering predicts career commitment and positively correlates with having a feeling of harmony and completeness in one’s identity. Therefore, identity integration is a crucial developmental task that aids women’s commitment and wellness in the working and mothering domains. Examining identity integration in working mothers assists our knowledge of how women make sense of their intersecting identities. Various studies demonstrate that working mothers differ on their level of integration (Garcia-Lorenzo et al., 2024; Hagelskamp et al., 2011; Kanji & Cahusac, 2015; Zagefka et al., 2021). Individuals commonly have multiple domains of identity, but having numerous identity domains does not necessarily indicate that the individual has integrated different roles or aspects of self (Mitchell et al., 2021). In Hagelskamp et al.’s (2011) study, researchers examined role identity associations in low-income women’s views toward work and mothering. In this study, participants either reported work as interfering with their preferred mothering role, viewing mothering as equivalent to paid work even when not working, holding positive connotations towards both mothering and engaging in paid work, or integrating working and mothering roles by embracing working as being an integral aspect of a good mother. Hagelskamp et al.’s (2011) study showcases that individuals can hold multiple roles but not integrate these parts of self into their identity if they are ambivalent towards dual roles or view multiple roles as being unrelated or conflicting with their preferred role. Furthermore, Hagelskamp et al.’s study demonstrates that integration is on a spectrum. Since integration is on a spectrum, scholars research identity integration by examining either the process, content, or outcome of integration (McLean & Syed, 2015; IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 19 Mitchell et al., 2021). Research on the process of identity integration emphasizes how individuals construct their identity over time (Mitchell et al., 2021). Individuals develop their identity by reflecting on pivotal life events and exploring and committing to different roles. Qualitative data is necessary to understand the process of identity integration as this approach to research provides richness and nuance. The content of identity typically focuses on specific domains that individuals identify with, such as religion or family roles (McLean & Syed, 2015). The content of identity integration is challenging to research across participants because it is usually quite individual to each participant. Similarly, the outcome of integration is not stable, and there is no universal standard of adequate integration because integration is subjective to each individual (Mitchell et al., 2021). Therefore, by using a qualitative approach that is explained more in-depth toward the end of the chapter, the present study focuses on the process of identity integration in working mothers, which is subjectively defined, rather than focusing on content or outcome. Integration Strategies Identity integration not only helps with ambivalent facets of identity, but it also helps individuals adjust to change. Mitchell et al. (2021) outline various integration strategies that individuals may use when constructing their identity and adjusting to changes in environment and self-concept. These strategies consist of identity exploration, assimilation, accommodation, and autobiographical reasoning. Individuals often engage in these strategies when establishing or maintaining one’s identity after it has been formed. Identity exploration consists of individuals rebuilding an integrated identity following experiencing a disruptive life experience. Identity exploration often takes place after experiencing a life transition, such as becoming a mother (Bataille, 2014) or when children IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 20 leave home (Simmons et al., 2021). Bataille (2014) found that after becoming a mother, individuals experience identity de-stabilization and begin asking new questions about themselves and what they want. Similarly, Spector and Cinamon (2017) found that women shape their career decisions during their transition to motherhood through an exploration process. Spector and Cinamon (2017) designed a questionnaire regarding personal questions that mothers might ask themselves, such as seeing mothering modelled, what one has learned through being a mother, and so forth. Mothers that engaged with greater maternal exploration were more likely to keep working patterns that they already held before. Spector and Cinamon (2017) concluded that the exploration process aided finding a lifestyle that would integrate both mothering and working. Assimilation is a strategy where individuals attempt to influence the environment to minimize the effects on one’s goal (Mitchell et al., 2021). In working mothers, this might look like adjusting one’s work schedule to better align with their family needs, without sacrificing professional responsibilities. For example, a mother who wishes to maintain her career trajectory might negotiate with her employer for flexible hours. By doing so, she manages her work-life balance on her own terms. Compared to assimilation, accommodation occurs when an individual adapts one’s mindset to fit with new life circumstances by shifting their goals and priorities. In working mothers, this might look like deciding to take on a less demanding work role to focus on family life. Rather than trying to change one’s work environment to fit previous career ambitions, an individual may adjust her goals to better align with her new priorities as a mother. Bataille (2014) found that women undergo a shedding process, where new mothers let go of past ideals to focus on the present reality of circumstances. In this study, some IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 21 women accommodated to becoming a mother by letting go of working or advancing in career endeavours. For other women, the accommodation process consisted of letting go of the expectation of being a stay-at-home mother when realizing that being at home was not personally satisfying for them. Autobiographical reasoning describes how individuals reflect on how one’s identity has been shaped by life experiences over time and is commonly noticed in narrative identity construction (Habermas & Köber, 2015). Autobiographical reasoning helps individuals emphasize how they remained the same over time, which can help individuals seek stability. In contrast, autobiographical reasoning is also sometimes used by individuals as an explanatory bridge for events that did not feel continuous, so that individuals can seek stability through storytelling. It may also be used to describe how the narrator’s perspective changed over time by increasing knowledge or becoming more aware of oneself. Most studies that pertain to mothers and autobiographical reasoning are concerned with how mother’s autobiographical reasonings influences children’s personality, memory, and psychological well-being (Bosmans et al., 2012; Fivush et al., 2010; Habermas et al., 2010). Less is known about how mothers use autobiographical reasoning to understand their own identity development. Although studies outline various strategies that mothers use when establishing their identity (Bataille, 2014; Simmons et al., 2021; Spector & Cinamon, 2017), limited research has specifically examined strategies that are used by working mothers who feel as though working and mothering are integrated in their self-concept. Examining the narratives of working mothers who integrate working and mothering through the narrative identity model may offer knowledge about the particular strategies that this subset of mothers may use. IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 22 Narrative Identity Model Various models are used to research the process of identity integration (Mitchell et al., 2021). These models are not in theoretical conflict, as they all examine how individuals maintain and adapt identities during changing life circumstances. However, some models are aimed at adolescent populations or have less empirical backing. The narrative identity model is a common method for examining adults' identity integration in adults (Mitchell et al., 2021). The narrative identity model began with Dan P. McAdams, who proposed that individuals construct identity and achieve ego integration through narrating stories about themselves (Kroger, 2014; Mitchell et al., 2021) which aids individuals in developing a consistent sense of self (McLean & Syed, 2015). Scholars propose that adolescents begin to work on their life stories by forming themes, plots, and settings, and that in adulthood, individuals refine their life stories (Kroger, 2014). How individuals construct their life stories shares valuable information about how their development and the meaning they make from their development (Kroger, 2014). Narrative construction is not assumed to be completely factual, as memory is fallible. Instead, how a participant narrates their story demonstrates their perspective and meaning making in the moment. Moreover, constructing a narrative identity is a dynamic process, and how one constructs their story in one incident may differ in the next depending on the audience and goals of the interaction. The narrative identity model is suitable for examining ego integration (Kroger, 2014). Ego integration involves both temporal and contextual integration. Temporal integration describes integration over time (Mitchell et al., 2021). Temporal integration does not represent reaching an endpoint but demonstrates how individuals bring together their past, IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 23 present, and future selves in describing who they are today through narratives. Temporal integration most often occurs via autobiographical reasoning. In comparison, contextual integration addresses how individuals integrate identity domains that they feel are important or are forced to assess due to social pressures or lacking support (Mitchell et al., 2021). Constructing narratives allows individuals to share the holistic story of their identity process, which may include challenges, ambivalence, and ruptures along the way to integrating parts of self. Contextual integration is especially relevant for understanding how women who consider both mothering and working aspects important to their self-concept, while facing contextual challenges outlined in Chapter 1, since there are costs and benefits of having dual parenting and working identities (Svensson & Frisén, 2021). Using a narrative identity model to examine identity integration is also helpful when there are levels of intersectional, competing, or ambivalent identities, as shown in a study conducted by Radcliffe et al. (2022). Radcliffe et al. (2022) examined the work-family experiences of single mothers using narrative thematic analysis. In this study, participants dealt with stigma and challenges by developing narratives that valued employment and presented themselves as 'good mothers due to working. Using narratives, participants reconciled the conflict between work and family identities. Developing one’s narrative identity also helps mothers negotiate and deconstruct societal norms and intensive mothering ideals (Christopher, 2012; Johnston & Swanson, 2006). Johnston and Swanson (2006) found that stay-at-home, part-time working, and full-time working mothers all construct different narratives that explain the traits that comprise a good mother. Since constructing a narrative identity can help with competing or ambivalent facets of identity and psychosocial IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 24 functioning, it is obvious why entire counselling theories focus on the narratives that individuals develop, such as narrative therapy (White, 2001). Narrative therapy theories propose that constructing narratives can help individuals develop a strong identity through questioning faulty identity conclusions and reauthoring their stories. Aims of Study The research questions for this study focus on how working mothers with children under age five construct a working mother narrative identity and their process of integrating mothering and working into their identity. Through the literature review, I have highlighted notable conceptual models, theories, and research that demonstrate the worthwhileness of this study. Namely, becoming a mother is an integral event that shapes how women see themselves and their work situations. Additionally, identity research in psychology has minimal research examining adults’ identity development. Moreover, this field has historically neglected mothers’ experiences by focusing on mothers as mediators for children’s development or by examining the experience of distressed mothers (Athan & Reel, 2015). Although working mothers have faced various historical and sociocultural challenges, a wealth of research suggests that women who work and mother have better physical and psychological health than mothers who do not work (Frech & Damaske, 2012). This research refuses to see working and mothering as inherently conflictual identity domains but proposes that societal structures and narratives create conflict, such as through lack of resources to support women in both roles or messaging that mothering should present in a specific manner. This research is curious how many women integrate these different parts of self into their self-concept, even amidst challenges. IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 25 In addition, few studies examine identity transition and integration in working mothers using a narrative identity model. Most studies use grounded theory (Hennekam, 2016; Hennekam et al., 2019; Ladge et al., 2012; Ladge & Greenberg, 2015; Laney et al., 2014; Laney et al., 2015), quantitative methods (Kim, 2020; Spector & Cinamon, 2017; Svensson & Frisén, 2020; Zagefka et al., 2021), or other qualitative methods. Using a narrative inquiry in the present study to examine working mothers’ identity development allows for a rich, holistic picture of how this process unfolds for working mothers by taking into account subjectivity, emotions, context, meaning making, and changes over time. Also, using a narrative approach grounds the study in the voices and experiences of mothers while substantiating other narrative research that has focused on working mothers’ identity development (Bataille, 2014; Garcia-Lorenzo et al., 2023; Radcliffe et al., 2022). In identity scholarship, how one forms an identity has been studied considerably, but what happens after constructing an initial identity is less conceptualized (Mitchell et al., 2021). This issue is also evident in motherhood research, where most studies on identity development in working mothers focus on how the journey starts during pregnancy or once women return to work. The literature fails to focus on different periods of a mother’s life (Hennekam, 2016). This gap does not paint a realistic picture of a mother’s identity development, as adults negotiate identity issues throughout their lives (Kroger, 2014). I aim to fill this gap by researching women who worked when their children were under five years old. Parenting infants and preschool-aged children is often an intensive period. Most children attend kindergarten at approximately five years old, and thus, public education and caregiving options are more readily available to school-aged children. Researching working mothers during this period will extend the research in understanding how women integrate IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS working and mothering into their identity. In conclusion, the present study extends the literature through using a strength-based perspective that is grounded in a mother's experience during a specific period that is not as extensively researched using a narrative method. 26 IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 27 CHAPTER 3: METHOD In this chapter, I describe the research design of this thesis project. First, I share the research paradigm that informs this study and my position as a researcher. I then explain the rationale for choosing narrative inquiry for the study’s method. Next, I outline the research procedures used in the study, including participant selection and recruitment, data collection, and analysis. To end, I summarize strategies and rationales that help establish rigour in this thesis. Throughout the chapter, I describe my decisions in designing and conducting this study. Research Paradigm The research paradigm that guides this project is matricentric feminist pragmatism. Philosophical pragmatism views reality as being rooted in daily living and experiences, which is influenced by the greater social context (Caine et al., 2021). Pragmatists view individuals as active agents in developing reality (Morgan, 2014). By being an active agent, individuals interact with their communities, others, and their own beliefs, which shapes further beliefs and actions (Caine et al., 2021; Morgan, 2014). History and culture also impact how reality is experienced (Morgan, 2014). Feminism further emphasizes the power structures that women experience in their reality and daily lives (Whipps & Lake, 2024). Research within a feminist pragmatism paradigm must be grounded in the lived experiences of individuals who face oppressive structures (Caine et al., 2021; Whipps & Lake, 2024). Matricentric feminism goes further than feminism by proposing that mothers are a distinct category of women who experience oppression under patriarchy and by focusing on the unique needs that women have as mothers (O’Reilly, 2019). This project is grounded in the IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 28 lived experiences of working mothers who navigate the intricacies of mothering, work, and identity in a patriarchal society that is generally not designed to support working mothers. Given the assumptions of matricentric feminist pragmatism, the relationship between the researcher and participant is dialectical, where their interaction may ultimately shift or impact one’s views and future experiences (Mertens, 2020). The role of the researcher is to facilitate democracy through open discussion and honour the researcher’s and participants’ communities (Caine et al., 2021). Moreover, Jane Addams, who scholars credit feminist pragmatism (Caine et al., 2021; Rosiek & Pratt, 2013), proposes that researchers must carry out the research as a process of social improvement and recognize that the research process changes the researcher’s subjectivity. Researcher’s Position Qualitative researchers situate themselves in their studies to elucidate how their views influence the research findings (Morrow, 2005). Since I am the principal investigator of this research project, I want to introduce myself and assist the reader in making their own conclusions on how I influence the findings. I am a White, cis-gendered female, childless, and graduate counselling psychology student. I came to this research project through a graduate class in Career Counselling, where I wrote a paper examining the impacts of maternity leave on women’s careers. I noticed a theme in the literature where participants described experiencing an identity change after becoming a mother (Costantini et al., 2022; Ma et al., 2021; Spiteri, 2012). Participants also often described a new tension between their work identity and new mothering identity (King et al., 2009; Langan et al., 2017; Ma et al., 2021; Wiens et al., 2022). As someone who would like to be a mother while having a meaningful academic and counselling career, I became curious about whether there are IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 29 mothers who integrate these aspects of self and what the integration of working and mothering might encompass. Since I have not experienced merging mothering with my career, I come to this research with a posture of being a pupil of my participants. As outlined in Chapter 2, mothers encounter numerous challenges in the workforce and their roles. Thus, my position as a researcher is to hold this research question carefully because focusing on the integration of working and mothering is inherently a strength-based approach rooted in developmental psychology’s view on psychosocial functioning (Syed & McLean, 2016). I acknowledge that I tend to be optimistic, influenced by my counselling education and profession, which focuses on human wellness, development, and personal growth (Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association, n.d.). I recognize that using a strength-based approach and focusing on identity integration might divert attention from the changes that need to occur in work, policy, and family structures to support working mothers or silence the struggle of working mothers. Detracting attention from these issues is not my aim. Instead, my position is to examine how working mothers make meaning of their dual identities amidst the challenges. For working mothers, having a child profoundly impacts and changes how one is in the world. Working mothers must make choices about childcare, their work, and their role as mothers. Since working mothers encounter various challenges, it made me curious about the many women who work and mother and do so in a congruent, meaningful way. I think there is something to learn from working mothers who can create meaning and integrate dual and sometimes opposing parts of self into their identity. Narrative Inquiry IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 30 Given the feminist pragmatism paradigm that guides this study and research question, I chose narrative inquiry as the method. Narrative inquiry is a qualitative research method that focuses on people’s stories (Polkinghorne, 1995). In everyday storytelling, speakers select significant events, organize those events into an understandable sequence, connect meaning to those events, and communicate those events to a listener (Riessman, 2008). This approach aligns with feminist pragmatism because it grounds the research in the participants’ stories of their lived experiences. Narrative inquiry within a feminist pragmatism paradigm positions the participant as an active agent in constructing their story. Similarly, the researcher is considered an active agent in dialoguing with the participants’ stories while facilitating a democratic and relational stance. The emphasis on storytelling one’s identity has a long history within pragmatism and psychology, as one of the founders, William James, viewed narratives as pivotal in understanding oneself (McAdams, 2011). More recently, narrative identity research within psychology describes how individuals develop identity through storytelling (McAdams, 2011). Narrative inquiry is also an appropriate method for studying identity integration. The narrative identity model proposes that people construct narratives to make sense of their evolving identity (McAdams, 2011; Mitchell et al., 2021; Riessman, 2008). Telling narratives captures the context and actions of participants and the implicit meanings (Riessman, 2008). Caine et al. (2021) argue that stories are critical in helping people organize and create coherence in their lives. Therefore, telling stories can serve as a way to help integrate identity, as individuals bring together their past, present, and future selves into a coherent whole that describes how they see themselves (Mitchell et al., 2021). IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 31 Identity integration can be studied by focusing on outcome or process (Mitchell et al., 2021). I chose to study the process of identity integration among working mothers. Examining the process of identity integration allows for a comprehensive understanding of the stages and factors that contribute to identity formation. Identity construction is not static, so focusing on the process of how identity integration occurs requires rich, detailed accounts. Additionally, given the intersectionality and challenges that working mothers experience in their dual identities, studying the outcome of integration may not have been appropriate for the study’s population. Narrative inquiry allows for rich descriptions of working mothers’ identity integration process (Polkinghorne, 2005). Rich descriptions allow for complexity. Through narrative inquiry, participants are able to address what is important to them in their process of identity construction, including the obstacles they encounter and how they cope with those challenges. Thus, within narrative inquiry there is a richness and ability to hold dialectical experiences. Moreover, narrative inquiry recognizes that narratives are situated in specific social and cultural contexts, and meaning is shaped by the interaction between the individual and the environment (Caine et al., 2021). Recognizing the context of the participants’ narratives is pivotal as it elucidates what factors influenced the process of identity integration. Data Collection Participant Recruitment This study was approved by the Human Research Ethics Board of Trinity Western University, British Columbia, Canada (HREB #23G09) in November 2023. Recruitment took place from December 2023 to January 2024 via purposive sampling. Purposive sampling allowed me to select participants who identified with the study’s aims and could speak in- IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 32 depth about their experiences. Recruitment occurred via word of mouth and advertising on social media and to a research pool of working mothers who participated in a study examining mothering and work during the COVID-19 pandemic (see Appendix A for the recruitment poster). I distributed the poster advertisement to my supervisor, Dr. Larissa Rossen, and two colleagues at Trinity Western University, who posted it on their social media accounts. Interested participants reached out via e-mail, and I followed up with a screening phone call to ensure they met the inclusion and exclusion criteria. During the screening interview, I shared the aims and procedures of the study. I also explained I was giving a $25.00 Amazon gift card at the end of the second interview to express appreciation for engagement with the study. The procedures consisted of participants committing to two interviews. I chose multiple interviews because it provides the opportunity to establish a researcher-participant relationship, assist participants in reflecting on their experiences, and capture more in-depth responses regarding the research question. Having multiple interviews is further substantiated by Polkinghorne (2005), who suggests researchers should engage with participants a few times to produce worthwhile findings. If participants were still interested in participating after the screening interview, I e-mailed them an informed consent form (see Appendix C). After the informed consent form was signed and returned, I scheduled the first interview with the participants. IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 33 Table 1 Participant Demographics Ethnicity Location Children’ s Ages (Caucasia n Canadian) (Chinese Canadian) BC, Canada 8 BC, Canada 7, 5 40 (Black American) New York, USA 5, 9mos (Education Admissions) 2030 (Music Therapist) 22.5 Washington , USA BC, Canada 8, 5, 4mos Married Married (Administratio n / Marketing) (Executive Director) 2530 40 (Caucasia n American) (Caucasia n Canadian) (Latin American) (Caucasia n Australian ) BC, Canada 7, 5, 3 BC, Canada 2 Pseudony m Ag e Education Marital Status Occupation Title Beth 39 Certificat e Married Entrepreneur Laura 44 Bachelor’ s Degree Married 3540 Linda 30 Married Rebekah 35 Bachelor’ s Degree Master’s Degree Healthcare Project Manager (Customer Service) Married Anne 29 Bachelor’ s Degree Rose 34 Joy 40 Bachelor’ s Degree Bachelor’ s Degree Commo n Law Work Hours / Week 40 18mos Note: mos stands for months Participant Selection During recruiting, maximum variation was used as a specific purposive sampling criterion to promote heterogeneity in participants’ backgrounds, such as marital status, occupation, and ethnicity (see Table 1), reflected in the seven participants’ diverse backgrounds. Ages ranged from 29 to 44 years, with a mean age of 35.9. The highest education level was mainly analogous, as most participants had a bachelor’s degree. Participants came from reasonably diverse backgrounds with citizenship representing Canada, the USA, Australia, and Mexico. The majority of participants identified as Caucasian, although three participants identified as Chinese, Latin American, and Black. IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 34 There was a range of hours worked per week, with three participants working full-time (40 hours) and four participants working part-time (20-30 hours). Four participants worked remotely from home, while three participants worked on-site. All participants had spouses or partners. At the time of the interview, three participants had one child, two participants had two children, and two participants had three children. Initially, I recruited and interviewed eight participants. However, after the first interviews, a participant was excluded from the data analyses because she did not meet the inclusion criteria of engaging in paid work when children were five years old or younger. She was still debriefed and given a $25.00 Amazon gift card for participating. This removal resulted in seven participants in the data analysis. Removing the participant from data analysis lost variation in the sample, as she was the only divorced participant. I determined that I needed a smaller sample size to meet my study’s objectives. Since I chose to use narrative inquiry as my method, my aim was to collect interviews from “exemplar” participants who could provide an in-depth account of developing a working mother identity. I saw these “exemplar” participants as case studies, which aligns with narrative inquiry’s aims (Riessman, 2008). Using a case study approach allows for contextdependent knowledge that can help grow disciplines and knowledge. Additionally, a case study approach with a smaller sample size allows the researcher to focus on detail and the complexities of participants’ narratives (Riessman, 2008). Guided by a matricentric feminist pragmatism paradigm, I also desired to have a strong quality of dialogue, which was more attainable through a smaller sample size. Feminist pragmatism advocates for a strong researcher-participant dialogue that situates research within daily problems and solutions (Caine et al., 2021). Strong dialogue occurred via semi-structured, open-ended interviews IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 35 and the opportunity to have two interviews. I also purposively used maximum variation to achieve a diverse sample of participants. Therefore, I determined that six to eight participants were sufficient to meet my aims for the present study by providing deep and contextualized understandings. I had no prior relationship with any of the participants. Three participants came from colleagues who informed them about the study. One participant learned about the study through the research pool of a study that examined working mothers during the COVID-19 pandemic. The remaining three participants saw the poster advertisement on social media. Here is an excerpt from my audit research journal that highlights what I learned from the recruitment process: I got a decent amount of interest, around 12-14 interested participants. When I started calling participants it was interesting. One participant told me that she was a “content working mother” but “hated it.” However, she wanted to participate in the study. I agreed, but I felt so weird about it. So, I called her back to just check in and she said that she was being facetious and did identify as being content. I called a colleague to ask her opinion, and she said it was probably just the participant’s style of speaking, and it would be how her friends would talk about it too. Another participant was going to interview and cancelled last minute as her brother passed away, and it just reminded me how life just happens. The same thing happened with two other participants, who had to reschedule due to their child breaking a leg, and another had a snow day and had to reschedule the interview. I think this helped me realize that moms do need a lot of flexibility and do not typically subscribe to set hours or times. It was a bit of a hard realization for me as I contemplate motherhood because I think I am more rigid in my expectations of what it means to be a good worker, and I am realizing that integration of work and motherhood, I think anyways, needs a lot of flexibility (T. Carmichael, personal communication, December 9, 2023). Exclusion & Inclusion Criteria Participants were selected based on whether they met the study’s inclusion and exclusion criteria. The inclusion and exclusion criteria included working mothers who: (a) have a child(ren) or could speak to working when child(ren) were aged five years old or IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 36 younger, (b) are able to communicate in English, (c) are currently in some type of paid employment, and (d) self-identify as being content in paid employment and mothering most of the time. I developed the criterion of having a child(ren) or could speak to working when child(ren) were aged five years old or younger because there is a gap in the literature that looks at working mothers and identity development during this stage. Numerous studies examine working mothers' identity development during pregnancy or returning to work after maternity leave (Ladge et al., 2012). There are fewer studies during the infant to pre-schoolaged years (Hennekam et al., 2019). I thought this age-group was pertinent to examine as there are notable challenges to parenting in this stage, such as children being more dependent on parents and there is generally less access to publicly funded childcare. Initially, the criteria consisted of only having a child aged five years or younger, and there was no clause to include participants who could speak to the subject with older children. However, a few potential participants reached out and shared that they had older children already, but wanted to participate in the study because they could speak to the subject as they worked when their children were younger. I adjusted the criteria to be inclusive of these participants and follow a more relational approach. There was no exclusion for the type of paid employment. Part-time and full-time work, self-employment, working at home, or currently on maternity leave were all considered forms of paid employment. The criterion that participants self-identify as being content in paid employment and mothering most of the time describes the identity integration piece of the study. I used the word contentment to describe identity integration in layperson’s language. I chose IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 37 contentment to represent integration because it represents a satisfied attitude toward working and mothering. The subjective sense of integration for participants was pertinent to include because it does not rely on other’s definitions of integration. Therefore, it is not based on a certain standard, actions, or performance. Relying on the participants’ subjective sense of integration is an appropriate strategy when studying individuals whose identities are intersectional (Adler, 2018; Mitchell et al., 2021). This approach promotes a more flexible view of identity integration, acknowledging that each person has an optimal level of integration with different levels of self-continuity (Mitchell et al., 2021; Schachter et al., 2005). Collecting the Data I collected data via interviews between December 2023 and February 2024. Interviews were conducted via Zoom and recorded. Interviews ranged from 47 to 90 minutes, with a mean time of 66.3 minutes. I worked from a semi-structured interview schedule developed to follow the aims of narrative inquiry (see Appendix E; Riessman, 2008). I designed the interview process in a way that allowed participants to construct answers that were meaningful to them and enabled depth. Riessman (2008) proposes that asking openended questions, attuning emotionally to participants, and engaging in dialogue aids narrative inquiry. In the first interview, I began by inquiring about the participants’ contexts and details about their current families, work situations, and how they defined contentment. I chose to ask about contextual pieces first to develop rapport and participants’ comfort before moving to the narrative component. I then moved into the narrative component, where I asked participants to share their stories of developing a working mother identity where they were IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 38 generally content with both working and mothering roles. In the narrative component, I asked participants to address a.) their early experiences of thinking about becoming a mother and work before they were a mother, b.) their early experiences of becoming a mother and thinking about how mothering would coincide with work, and c.) their early experiences of merging work and mothering to the present, and the process of becoming content in work and mothering. I chose these particular topics to ask participants because researchers have found that participants find it easier to talk about specific timeframes rather than a wide-open time frame (Riessman, 2008). These topics also influence a natural sequence of the beginning, middle, and end of constructing a working mother identity. I used the interview schedule quite flexibly. Narrative inquiry aims to produce detailed accounts (Riessman, 2008), so I took opportunities to probe interesting issues that arose during the interview. Some participants began sharing their stories before I could share the narrative component script. I followed their trails, which aligns with narrative interviewing that gives up control of a fixed interview format. After participants shared their narratives, participants completed a demographics questionnaire, which gathered information about their age, ethnicity, marital status, occupation title, hours worked per week, children’s ages, location, and education (see Appendix D and Table 1). The interview commenced by asking participants for their choice of pseudonym for the data to maintain anonymity and confidentiality. Data Analysis After the first interview, Zoom recordings were downloaded and transferred to a password-protected USB for confidentiality. I used Otter.Ai to transcribe the interviews. I edited the transcribed interviews by listening to the Zoom recording while comparing it to the IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 39 Otter.Ai transcript until the transcript matched the audio to my satisfaction, which consisted of listening to the whole interview between two to three times. Checking the transcripts against the original audio recordings helps to ensure fidelity and increase familiarity with the data (Braun & Clarke, 2006). I then polished the participants’ narratives by removing my dialogue, editing, and rearranging the narrative. Narratives were rearranged to include a short introduction of the participant and a chronological plot sequence of who they were before being a mother, becoming a mother, and merging work with mothering. I developed this plot sequence to attend to differences in time and place, which are relevant to narrative inquiry (Riessman, 2008). Additionally, I de-identified the data to ensure anonymity. After constructing the narratives, narratives were analyzed using an adapted version of Braun and Clarke’s (2006) six-phase thematic analysis method. Braun and Clarke’s (2006) thematic analysis procedures were adapted to uphold narrative inquiry values. Narrative inquiry values consist of using prior theory to interpret themes while searching for novel theoretical insights, keeping the sequence of the story rather than coding segments for themes, and attending to the time and place of the narrative themes (Riessman, 2008). Additionally, narrative inquiry focuses on cases or units of analysis. The unit of analysis for the present study is working mother identity construction and integration. Thematic analysis was used in the present study to identify common thematic elements across research participants’ identity construction. The first phase of Braun and Clarke’s (2006) thematic analysis is becoming familiar with the data. I familiarized myself with the data through interviewing, editing the transcribed narratives, and constructing the narratives. Braun and Clarke (2006) suggest manual transcription of the data assists familiarization. Since I did not manually transcribe IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 40 the transcripts, I extended this phase by reading the narratives multiple times and journaling my impressions. Additionally, I read each narrative with my supervisor and journaled our joint impressions. I compared and contrasted our joint impressions to my initial impressions and noticed areas I tended to over-emphasize or de-emphasize. The literature regarding thematic analysis and narrative inquiry does not necessitate multiple researchers or interreliability, as researchers produce findings and situate themselves in the findings (Braun & Clarke, 2022). However, I included my supervisor in this phase of the research process because of my feminist pragmatism paradigm. I wanted to ensure there was plurality and strong dialogue throughout the analyses. By this point, I felt immersed enough in the data to move on to the next phase. In the second phase, I produced initial codes. The coding process identifies the features of the data that the researchers find interesting (Braun & Clarke, 2006). I coded the narratives manually through Microsoft Word. I created a table with two columns. The first column contained the code. The codes consisted of a letter to represent the participant, a code number, and a short description of the code (e.g., A.1. Trial & Error). The second column contained the narrative excerpt. In thematic analysis, researchers are supposed to work systematically through the entire dataset and ensure they give equal attention to each data item (Braun & Clarke, 2006). However, I wanted to keep a narrative lens in the coding process, so I coded each paragraph or “mini-story” that ended with a natural coda rather than coding line-by-line segments for themes (Riessman, 2008). This approach kept the narrative intact and resulted in multiple codes for narrative excerpts. I completed this phase after coding each narrative in its entirety. IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 41 During the third phase, I began searching for themes. Searching for themes occurs by analyzing the codes produced in the second phase and considering how the codes may combine and form a theme (Braun & Clarke, 2006). Before searching for themes, I decided what would constitute a theme and considered prevalence, description of the dataset, theoretical versus inductive approaches, and level of interpretation as recommended by Braun and Clarke (2006). For prevalence, I decided that a theme needed to be across the majority of the dataset. The majority of the dataset meant being present in four participants’ narratives minimum. Regarding the description of the data set, I chose to do a more detailed account of a particular aspect rather than a rich description of the entire dataset. This approach allowed me to describe the themes that spoke to the process of constructing a working mother identity in detail. I took a theoretical approach to producing themes because I noticed the influence of the literature when I would journal. Additionally, I wanted to answer my research question versus changing my research question through an analytic process, which follows more of a theoretical approach. When it came to interpretation, I chose to take a more semantic approach by taking what the participants shared at face value. This decision was more of a personal preference and respecting my comfort level in interpreting the data. After making my decisions about what constitutes a theme, I began the process of searching for themes. Searching for themes was a manual process. First, I printed out the Word document from the coding phase. Then, I cut each code with its corresponding narrative and placed these extracts into a pile. I decided to parse my research question into two parts: The process of identity development and the surrounding context. Then, I went through the codes and combined them roughly into piles that aligned with my research IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 42 question, which consisted of creating piles of main themes, subthemes, miscellaneous, and a discard pile. This coding procedure formed a set of candidate themes (see Figure 1). Figure 1. Phase Three Coding – Candidate Themes Following producing a set of candidate themes, I moved on to the fourth phase of refining themes (Braun & Clarke, 2006). Refining themes occurred by reviewing all the coded data extracts by rereading the collated data extracts and confirming that the extracts fit the theme. Once I confirmed that the extracts matched the themes, I ensured that the themes reflected the data by rereading the entire data set. I then moved to the next phase of defining and naming themes (Braun & Clarke, 2006). To do this, I revisited the collated data extracts for each theme and organized them into a consistent account supported by the narrative excerpts. I then wrote a detailed analysis that identified the important facets of each theme and how the themes fit into the overall story of the research question. Then, each theme was named. Debriefing the Study IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 43 After constructing and analyzing the narratives, I e-mailed participants for a followup interview. Follow-up interviews took place from March to July 2024. Interviews ranged from 30 to 62 minutes, with a mean of 44.5 minutes. During the follow-up interview, I read the narrative to each participant and asked for their feedback and reflection (see Appendix F). Participants shared their feedback and whether their narrative needed editing to reflect their experience. Then, I shared with participants how their narrative compared and contrasted with the findings. Afterward, I debriefed the study with participants to ensure participant care and provide resources if needed after completion of the study (see Appendix G). After each interview, I incorporated participant feedback regarding their narrative and experience with the research process. None of the participant’s feedback changed the research findings, although the feedback did influence how I portrayed and communicated the findings to subsequent participants and colleagues. For example, two participants shared that they wished their narratives were more grammatically polished and refined before being included in the thesis document. I made these changes and made further edits to the narratives shared in subsequent participant debriefing interviews. Regarding the theme “Avoiding Emotional Incongruency,” a participant shared insights that assessing negative emotions, such as anger and resentment, and making decisions to minimize negative emotions was not done to avoid being uncomfortable, but to protect one’s relationship with their children. Thus, I incorporated feedback from participants in how I communicated the findings. Trustworthiness Rigour Qualitative research has varying tenets of what makes research valid and rigorous based on the paradigm, method, and study’s aims (Mertens, 2020). Influenced by the IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 44 paradigm of feminist pragmatism, I aimed to conduct this study in an open, transparent, and democratic manner that shared my power as a researcher with participants and colleagues. I shared power through semi-structured interviews that followed what was meaningful to the participant and incorporated participant feedback. Additionally, I kept a reflexive journal and audit trail of my research decisions. I aimed to make each research decision conscientiously. During data analysis, reflexive journaling helped me understand and elucidate my views when analyzing data. I held my preconceived views lightly by maintaining an open stance, questioning discomfort, and taking note of exceptions in the participants’ stories. To incorporate relationality and dialogue in the study’s design, I included various points of contact with colleagues and friends to ensure that this project did not develop in isolation. I held a focus group with four colleagues who were working mothers in July 2023, asking potential interview guide questions, and listening to their experiences of being a working mother. I also asked for feedback on my project from working mothers in my circles and listened to their experiences of why work and mothering were personally meaningful to them. Before data collection occurred, I engaged in three pilot studies where I interviewed personal contacts. These pilot studies helped me train and familiarize myself with the interview protocol before interviewing participants. In the spirit of democracy, I incorporated the feedback from the pilot interviewees. I worked with Dr. Deepak Mathew, a narrative inquiry researcher, to develop a narrative interview protocol that would be easy for participants to engage with. This decision is demonstrated in the following audit research journal excerpt: IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 45 I talked to Deepak (Dr. Deepak Mathew) about my interview guide because I am finding that the interview guide is a bit hard for my pretend/pilot participants to engage in, or that’s kind of the gist of feedback that I’m getting from them. I thought he would be good to talk to since he’s done narrative and identity research at UBC. He mentioned that identity is just such a hard construct to ask about, and that I shouldn’t necessarily use the word “identity” but ask about their experiences about becoming a working mother and work out the identity piece in the analysis. He suggested that I first warm-up the participants by asking about their work/mothering contexts and details, and then also ask them to self-define what contentment means, and then go into their story portion. I thought this was a great idea, and I am planning my interview guide to fit this approach by scrapping the original questions I had that asked about identity and asking more about their experience. This is basically how it went with the second colleague I pilot interviewed, and it went a lot smoother (T. Carmichael, personal communication, November 15, 2023). IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 46 CHAPTER 4: FINDINGS Through narrative thematic analysis of the seven narratives, 10 rich themes were generated that describe the identity construction process of working mothers who selfidentify as being generally content in their working and mothering roles. To keep aligned with narrative inquiry principles (Riessman, 2008), I describe these themes in a way that tells a story of the findings and follows a narrative plot of beginning, middle, and end. To do so, I organized the 10 themes into identity construction processes. These processes consist of developing an expectant working mother identity, experiencing identity disruption in becoming a mother, establishing integration of working and mothering, and maintaining integration of working and mothering. These processes loosely correlate with the interview questions (see Appendix E), while the themes elucidate the responses to these questions (see Table 2). Excerpts of the participants’ narratives are included to elucidate the themes. I purposively included longer excerpts to keep the participants’ narratives intact. After discussing the processes of identity construction and associated themes, I situate the participants by highlighting their personalized contexts and resources. Lastly, I share an integrative summary of the findings at the end of the chapter. IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS Table 2 Processes and Themes Process 1: Developing an Expectant Working Mother Identity Theme 1: Reflecting on Childhood Mothering Experiences Theme 2: Avoiding Emotional Incongruency Theme 3: Reflecting on “I Didn’t Know” Theme 4: Finding Identity Anchors Theme 5: Accepting New Limitations Theme 6: Developing Values and a Narrative about Shared Caregiving Theme 7: New Flexibility and Changing Work Situation Theme 8: Identifying with Mothering and Working Theme 9: Adjusting to Accommodate Change Theme 10: “I’m Not at My Ideal Yet” Process 2: Becoming a Mother Process 3: Establishing Integration of Working and Mothering Process 4: Maintaining Integration of Working and Mothering 47 IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 48 Process 1: Developing an Expectant Working Mother Identity The narrative identity model proposes that individuals make sense of their identity through autobiographical reasoning (McAdams, 2011). Autobiographical reasoning promotes identity integration because it allows individuals to bring their past, present, and future selves into a coherent whole. Autobiographical reasoning creates a temporal sense of integration. I found that participants reflected on their childhood and present and future emotional states when constructing their working mother identity, which are reflected in the themes below. Theme 1: Reflecting on Childhood Mothering Experiences In the present study, the past events that participants reflected on was their childhood experiences of having either a mother who worked or did not work. After anchoring their reflection into their childhood experience of having a working or non-working mother, participants engaged in a meaning making process of what that experience meant for them, and whether it was negative or positive. For some participants, having a working mother was a positive experience that aided their identification with being a working mother and there was little conflict between working and being a mother, which is demonstrated in the following excerpt: When I was a child, my dad worked fulltime, and my mom worked only part time. So, I never went to daycare. She did work, but she had a lot of time to spend with us. Back then I remembered most of the moms not working where I lived, so it was quite different. It was positive for me growing up. My mom working wasn't a stressful thing. It wasn't a resentful thing. I came from a pretty content family where my parents were both very involved, and my mom would work on the days that my dad was off. It really worked out for us as kids. The messages that I had were pretty positive. Because even though my mom only worked twice a week, I still saw her as a career woman. I was aware that she worked full time before she had me, and she worked in an office that she still works at now, actually, almost 40 years later, and we would get to go there and visit her sometimes. I always admired her and thought that that was really cool that she had this professional job. For me, it was positive. Maybe that helped. I didn't grow up with a stay-at-home mom, even though she was at home IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 49 with us, and we didn't go to daycare, I didn't perceive her as a stay-at-home mom. Being a working mom was always a positive thing in my mind. – Beth For other participants, having a working mother brought up memories of difficult childhood experiences, which created conflict initially with identifying with being a working mother. Thus, based on their childhood experiences, participants shared whether they chose to incorporate or discard what they saw modelled by their mother. Additionally, participants shared how their past experiences influenced their values toward working and parenting. Participants then found opportunities that aligned with their working and parenting values, as shared in the following excerpt: Finding the balance of working took me a bit to figure out with knowing how many hours I wanted to be working as a working mom. I grew up with my mom working all the time. Most of my day-to-day memories, she was at work, and my dad was too. My dad was a youth pastor, which didn’t pay much, so he worked two jobs. My mom was the primary breadwinner as a nurse. She was in charge of a nursing home and dementia unit, which made her hours all over the place. The value we saw communicated to us growing up, which is a little sad, was that work was more important than us and more important than family. Even though when they weren't at work, we were solid and had a really good time, the message communicated to us was work hard/play hard. . . I felt like if there was an emergency at mom's work, or if something happened in the youth group, that we were secondary. That did not feel good, and that’s why I never want my kids to feel secondary. I love my mom dearly, but what was communicated was that work hard/play hard message. We've talked about it, and she shared that's not at all what she meant to do, and they just needed the money. I understand and am not blaming her at all. . . For a while, I had the mentality that I'm going to be content working or not working at all. I went to the extreme of thinking that I would be home all the time. I did that for nine months, which wasn't that long. I found that I was not happy. I realized that I needed to work and have something outside of the home. It was difficult when my identity was only in taking care of the kids. I needed to find a balance of what work and being a mom looked like for me. I knew I didn't want to work full time out of the house. That felt too much, but I also didn't want to do nothing. I had to figure out where I landed. These last couple years, I figured out that around 20 to 30 hours a week is perfect for me to be able to have something to do because I can work mostly during the school day. – Rebekah IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 50 Participants had different, personalized experiences of having a working or nonworking mother. However, this theme represents the participants’ reflection of their childhood and experience of being mothered by a working or non-working mother as an important process in their identity construction and integration of being a working mother. Theme 2: Avoiding Emotional Incongruency Participants reflected on their personality traits, motivations, and characteristics and made choices that felt congruent with themselves and their values towards parenting and working. When reflecting on the future, participants reflected on what emotions might occur if they made choices that were incongruent with themselves. Participants shared making choices that would minimize experiencing negative emotions, such as anger, resentment, and regret. For example, Anne met both present and future mothering and working identity needs by choosing to work part-time. By working part-time, she could be present for her children’s younger years while maintaining career ambitions, which can be read through her narrative: Another factor is that I have some older women in my life, such as my mom and women of my mom's generation who paused their career to be home with their kids. I think that's a wonderful thing. I’m not against that. But now in their 50s, I see a lot of regret. It's hard to see what the other option was, but there's a lot of sadness. My dad’s career has gone somewhere that he is proud of, and I compare that to my mom, where she was really good at her job and loved her job and had to give it up. It's becoming more of an issue now in her 50s, then I ever noticed it being in childhood. I think seeing that I realized that I love my child and truly do love being home with her, but I don't want to fully give up my career. I wanted to keep something at least part time. I don't want to find myself years down the road wishing I had accomplished more and could tell people what I do for work. . . The woman I worked for as a lab assistant; she worked three days a week while her kids were young. I got to talk to her daughter, and she said that she didn’t mind it when her mom was at work. . . As the child of this woman who worked three days a week, she expressed it as being good for her to have a working mom and that she loved it. I also talked to this woman directly, and she had no regrets. I told her that I was unsure what to do because I've spoken to women who have regrets either way. I remember this one woman I spoke to who regretted working as much as she did because she felt like she missed out on some parts of their childhood, and she was blaming herself for the problems that her IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 51 kids were having now because she wasn’t there when they needed her when they were younger. And then someone like my mom who sacrificed her career, and there's some regret there. I'm like, “I don't know how to choose a middle path. I'm trying to find the middle path to have no regrets.” And the woman I worked for was like, “I have no regrets at all. I loved working three days a week, it worked so well for me.” – Anne Participants did not seem to assess and avoid negative emotions for the purpose of avoiding being uncomfortable. Rather they chose to assess negative emotions, such as regret, anger, and resentment and make choices based on experiencing these emotions that protected their well-being and their relationship with their child. This is demonstrated in excepts taken from the following narratives: When I realized that pursuing the Olympics was something I wanted to do, I had to ask the question of whether or not I was willing to put motherhood on hold for that. . . To reconcile that choice, I projected myself forward. If I had made the choice not to pursue the Olympics, conceived at that time, how would I feel having a kid? I got a clear intuitive message back that I would regret it. I would regret not taking this opportunity because I wasn't too old. I was definitely on the upper end, and by the time the Olympic qualifying events came around, I was the oldest person trying to qualify for the Olympics, male or female from any country. I saw this as the last thing that I was able to do. Even though I've been a competitive athlete for a very long time, I didn’t feel I had put everything into it. I never had the financial resources to drop everything and pursue it. I still didn't, but I was earning more than I ever had before. With my board’s consent, I was able to go part-time at work to pursue it. . . I had a few different process goals for that pursuit, and one of them was to see how far I could go if I put everything into it. . . Even though I didn't end up getting to the Olympics, I put everything into it that I could. I trained more than I've ever trained in my life. I was in the best shape I had ever been in. Coming back to the motherhood piece of it because I hadn't put 100% into it previously, it was always a question of how far could I have gone if I made this a singular pursuit, and put all the effort, time, energy, and financial resources in? If I had the opportunity to do it, and I didn't take it, I didn't want to be resenting my daughter for choosing her over this other thing. That was how I reconciled it through knowing I'm going to be a better mother, if I can do this now, and I won't resent her for it because I've taken it as far as I can take it. – Joy When we're able to go out and do stuff, we all feel better. That's a key part of being a mom. I had friends that became parents and then their life stopped. They were fully focused on their kids, which isn't necessarily bad because that worked for them. IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 52 However, I knew that I couldn't do that. If I did that, I would probably start resenting my kids. It was something I just knew and could feel. So how I coped with that is that I didn’t see kids as stopping my life or doing the things I love to do. Like, why can't we have our kids and go out? Why can't we travel with our kids? Why can't we do crazy adventures with our kids? We can, and it's different for sure. Vacations aren't super relaxing anymore, but they're fun. I find it worth it to go on these things and adventures with them. – Rebekah This theme of choosing to work to minimize incongruency and negative emotions demonstrates the weight that participants assessed for negative emotions when making choices regarding their role as mother and eventual construction of a working mother identity. Process 2: Experiencing Identity Disruption in Becoming a Mother Giving birth to a child seemed to disrupt most participants’ prior sense of self and create an interim period of constructing a new identity as mother. This process of becoming a mother and experiencing instability in one’s self-concept is reflected in the theme, “I Didn’t Know.” Theme 3: Reflecting on “I Didn’t Know” Several participants described having a child as being an entirely new experience, which resulted in feelings of shock and overwhelm. Having a child was described as an event where the majority of participants did not feel like themselves and felt ill-prepared for the identity change. Being disconnected from their prior self while constructing a new sense of being a mother presented a period of a temporary identity disruption. Since becoming a mother and having a child was a new experience, participants did not seem to have past experiences to compare with becoming a mother. Thus, participants did not use autobiographical reasoning to combine their past self into their present self. Instead, IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 53 participants focused on their lack of knowledge and experience during this phase, which is evidenced by the following quotes: When I was pregnant, I didn’t really know what I would need or the resources I had access to. I didn’t even know that I needed friends at that point. I didn’t know that I needed other like-minded people until I realized that would have been helpful. – Laura This was probably the biggest thing for me about motherhood is I thought I knew what it was going to be like, or at least had an idea of what it was going to be like. I had no idea. Like, zero conception of what it was gonna be like. – Joy Theme 4: Finding Identity Anchors To cope with the identity disruption of becoming a mother, participants described participating in activities that helped them connect to their sense of self. I describe these activities as identity anchors, as they helped participants identify with being a mother or with other facets of their identity that were important to them. These activities were unique to each participant, but they were similar in allowing participants the space to decouple from their child and focus on themselves as individuals. For some participants, connecting to their former sense of self through participating in activities they enjoyed before helped them connect to their new identity as mother, which is demonstrated in the following excerpt: I think it was three days postpartum when I told my husband that I needed to spend some time by myself for a couple hours. I went out to my favorite spot in the woods. I did a hike that I was doing all the time by myself beforehand. I just needed to feel like I still had me. I did not enjoy being pregnant. I didn't feel myself. It's not about being thin again. It was about just wanting myself back, wanting my physical feeling of myself back. I felt so free after I had the baby. It just felt really good. I needed to get out and spend that time by myself and know that I still have Beth. Like, she's still here. . . Also getting out with my friends again and doing activities with them. I had a few people I knew that were not super close to me and had babies the same year and what worked for them was to join mom groups and meet new people. For me, that was not what I needed. I felt like as soon as I could just feel like myself again, the better it would be. So that's going out with my friends that didn't have kids, because they were my best friends. They accepted me as a mom and wanted to hear about my son. . . For me, it was all about getting back to normal and living a life. Being myself IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 54 but also being a mom. Making sure to keep my identity the way it was before helped me accept that I was a mom. – Beth For other participants, rediscovering their sense of self through participating in new activities helped the transition into becoming a mother, as shown in the following excerpt: A few months after my son was born, I signed up for a marathon. I felt like that was what kept me going. I was also looking at getting a certificate to see what I could learn while I was at home because I just felt like I was staring at a baby, but I also felt like I couldn't blink, and I couldn't miss a thing. Then running became my thing. I remember seeing moms jogging with strollers and being like no, running is my thing. That's when I leave my baby. When my husband comes home, I can go for a run. My workout time was where I got that outlet of me. That was my self-care. I love being outside. I think just feeling strong and I didn't want to lose my fitness or my strength. So, that felt like me, it’s one thing that felt like me. – Rose For other participants, participating in mothering activities, connecting with other mothers, or going back to work helped them align with their new identity as mother. Although all the activities were unique to each participant, the attempt to find something that helped them feel connected back to themselves or to their new identity as mother after experiencing an identity disruption in becoming a mom was prevalent. Process 3: Establishing Integration of Working and Mothering After becoming a mother, working mothers had to figure out the task of how working would work with their newfound mothering role. I call this process establishing integration of working and mothering, and this theme has one main theme, which is titled, “Accepting New Limitations,” and two subthemes, titled “Developing Values and Narrative Toward Shared Caregiving” and “Changing Work Situations.” For these particular themes, I struggled with whether I should name these themes as identity work, and ultimately decided to include these themes as identity work, as demonstrated in the following audit journal excerpt: I’m struggling with how some of these experiences are connecting to identity, as the participants are really looking at how they changed as a person and are giving practical, reified examples. Participants are sharing that they are realizing how they IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 55 now have limitations, choosing now to not over-extend, how they set boundaries, and be present at work/home-life, and making actual choices and decisions that showcase that change in real life, e.g., changing work, working at home, using nannies or daycare etc. These are the things they “did” that showcased there was a personal, inner change. The internal affecting the external environment. I think I will include this as a theme because it showcases how they “enacted” their new identity and priorities (T. Carmichael, personal communication, April 27, 2024). Theme 5: Accepting New Limitations Becoming a mother caused participants to recognize the new limitations on themselves, such as their time and energy. Instead of focusing on trying to be the same as they were pre-child, participants spoke to changing their self-concept and shifting their goals and priorities. For some participants, the experience of conception and childbirth was the beginning of realizing limitations, which is exemplified in the following narrative: There was a definite adjustment period, both mentally and physically in the conception process. I had gone from this ultra-disciplined, elite athlete. The word I used to describe it as was hard. My body was hard with muscles. My mind was hard with the discipline. My belief, or maybe it's a rationalization of the fact that it took seven months, was that I needed time to soften. My body and mind needed time to soften. Once I was able to do that we conceived. I wanted to work with this trainer through my pregnancy to make sure that I could stay in the best shape I could be in. I started working with her, and we only had a few sessions, and I realized I didn’t want that discipline. It was not the softness that I needed right now. So, I ___ for fun with friends. I was definitely still in good shape, but it was completely different from how I had been ____ before. I didn't take risks. I was showing up in my sport very different. I call this period in my life, the softening, which continued through pregnancy. . . I didn't have a traumatic birth. My daughter was born at home, kind of intentionally and unintentionally. . . We were prepared for a home birth, but I wasn't designing it to be a home birth. I was kind of going with the flow and letting it be what it will be. Again, the softening. I had some birth injuries. Compared to some people, they weren't significant, but for me, they were significant. For somebody who has had a very strong relationship with their body, I was surprised at having been in such good shape going into birth that for the first week, I was basically lying in bed. By the end of six weeks, I was starting to get restless, but I still had a lot of issues. It’s not what media portrays, that you get your six-week clearance from the doctor and you're back at it. That was not the case. As I learned, it's not the case for many mothers. The ones who can do that are the exception rather than the rule.” – Joy IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 56 Recognizing the new limits was an active process for the participants, where they accepted their new status as mother, which influenced their outlook on how working and mothering would coincide. For most participants, developing a “good enough” mentality toward mothering and working was an important process in deconstructing idealization of either role. Regarding work, the majority of participants reported breaking from the ideal worker mentality that suggests that a good worker requires long hours, ability to commute long distances, and be continuously available (Williams, 2000). Having unnecessary stress was no longer appealing in the work environment for participants. Becoming a working mother changed how participants viewed their responsibilities to work, as shared in the following quote: Motherhood made me realize that I just have to give what I can give. When at work, I realized I couldn’t be giving all of myself to my company and stress myself out. I just have to do the best I can and leave the rest. It’s hard on me to try to impress the whole company, by working overtime, which sometimes I would do because I liked to get a good review on my profile. But over time, I saw that even those reviews aren’t the most important because you'll get all those five-star reviews when you can still do your job and know that you did a great job. So being a mother, I just stopped impressing so much or should I say adding so much energy. I will do just my work, and do what I'm asked to, what I'm supposed to do, but I won’t over-extend myself because I don't have the time. I can only do the best I can. Trying to displease myself just to please someone else is something I just couldn't be doing anymore because I have a family and kids to take care of. Being a mom sharpened me to be a little bit selfish sometimes. Working overtime doesn't matter anymore. If I still meet my target given to me at work and I still do my work effectively, then it's fine by me. – Linda In a similar manner to deconstructing from the ideal worker mentality, several participants also shared deconstructing a “supermom” mentality as they could not do it all with working and mothering. These new limitations caused participants to lower their expectations of themselves and focus on manageable parenting and home tasks that could be attained, as shared in these narratives: IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 57 I have learned that I do have limitations. I can't do everything, so having to prioritize is important. I started doing project work when I came back to work, and I started applying those project principles to my own life too. Such as, this is the project, and this is what I'm doing. Having that organization helps. I thought I was organized before, but I don't think I was. Now, I feel like I'm more organized because I have more of a project plan for our daily life, our adventures, and goals. I’ve learned to evaluate what's worth my time and energy because I have very limited time and energy. If my time and energy isn’t going into my work, it’s going into my kids and family, and vice versa. Also, I learn to recognize when I am putting too much energy and time into family stuff and I should be putting some more energy into work, so it kind of goes back and forth. With the limitations, I have also learned that your house doesn’t get any cleaner, even though I’m working from home. That’s definitely what I've learned, you think that you have more time to clean the tub or whatever working from home. No, I do not. I've learned to walk over the mess. That's kind of my boundary, I will put one house thing I need to do during the week. This week it’s wrapping presents. At some point this week, I'm going to wrap presents, but I'm not going to spend every minute cleaning up everything. My husband also encouraged me to set those boundaries because he thinks my expectations are quite high. So yes, I have learned to be okay with the mess. I'm not a neat person anyway, so having to clean up is not a huge priority for me. It's learning to let it slide and prioritizing getting dinner prepped for tonight or buying the Secret Santa present because I totally forgot about that. So those are my priorities and I'm going to leave this mess here, and I'm not going to even touch it. – Laura Another example is that my daughter this week asked me, “Can you go to the next hot lunch?” I've actually never been to one of the hot lunches. I'm like, “Yep, I can do that.” I’m off on Fridays, so I can organize myself to make sure that I'm there. I can also go and volunteer. I don't do it that often, but I can be at PAC meetings. Again, I'm not there for everything. I don't think I have to, but I like being able to when I can, and it matters. If more people were involved, I might feel like I was missing out. But, because not every parent is very involved, I don’t. If I felt like all the parents were there, and I wasn’t, I think it would matter because then she would feel like I'm not there. But right now, it's being able to pick them up, and ask them how their day was. Sometimes if I can, I'll come to school, and I'll park in the school’s driveway to pick up the kids. I try to park because then I can stop. I don't have to rush them into the car, and I can ask about their day, and hug them if I need to hug. It’s not stressful to do things like that because of my work, they like me at work, I like them. I’m trying to think if there's anything more, but that's kind of like what matters to me. I was able to go to like a field trip one time with them. If they really want it, then I can make it work usually. If it doesn’t matter, I don't have to be there every time. I think it’s what they remember. – Rose Becoming a mother caused participants to reflect on the new limitations they had on themselves, energy, and time. Having limitations influenced participants to reflect on their IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 58 values, priorities, and what was worthwhile of their time and attention. Reflecting on their new limitations influenced the participants to focus on what was manageable versus focusing on attaining either side of the spectrum of ideal mother or worker. Subtheme 6: Developing Values & A Narrative Toward Shared Caregiving A major, practical task that participants had to complete with returning to work was finding a caregiving situation that met their personal needs and family’s needs. Finding a caregiving situation presented a major task in their identity construction as working mothers because it caused participants to parse out their beliefs toward caregiving. For several participants, developing a narrative that shared caregiving was a value of theirs to support them as working mothers and their child’s development was a crucial process. For some participants, shared caregiving was a value they seemed to already hold and there was little conflict toward shared caregiving. For these participants, caregiving was seen as a shared task between partners, families, and the community, exemplified in the following quote: Before returning to work, I was able to spend time with my daughter at her daycare. We did a transition week right before I went back, which helped me feel connected to where she was going to be when I wasn't with her. She's there three days a week. My mom takes her one day a week, and my partner takes her one day a week. I felt she had a nice balance between socialization with other kids and forming attachment bonds with other adults while still having the family connection for the majority of days. Having that transition time felt really important, as I felt I had a connection to her teachers. They also have an app to send you pictures/videos and message the teachers. I still love it now, but that was a big piece early on of feeling connection when I wasn’t with her by seeing pictures of what she's doing. They log when she eats, how much she ate, gets a diaper change, and when she naps. It was nice to feel that connection. Because of that transition week beforehand I never really felt, like I missed her, for sure, but I never felt anxious about it. I knew what she was doing, where she was, and what was going on. And obviously I have complete trust when she's with grandma or dad. – Joy IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 59 For other participants, developing a narrative toward shared caregiving was an arduous process mixed with ambivalence. Arriving at a position where these participants could trust other people with their children took time, as shown in the following narrative: It was really hard for me at first. I didn't want to employ a nanny because I didn't know who to trust with my kids. I didn't know who would be good. I really found it difficult at first. I had to do everything on my own. I was always by myself trying to take care of a baby and meet their needs. Also, having the other one disturbing me while working was hard. At some point, I was really breaking down. I just had to sort of succumb into trying to get someone real quick. My friend helped me get the nanny that's with me now. It was really hard for me at first, but now I'm adjusting perfectly. – Linda An important part of shared caregiving that parents spoke to was being able to communicate with the other caregivers about their parenting preferences and child’s needs, and having those caregivers respond appropriately. I sense that this communication enabled participants to feel that other caregivers respected their parenting choices and that they were in charge of their children’s care, and evidenced in the quote below: It was surprising to me how much I enjoyed starting work again and doing that transition. I was less stressed because I knew that my in-laws had her. I knew that she was with people she loved and who loved her. She was familiar with them, and they would do anything for her routine. I've heard of moms being, “Oh my gosh, our child was on two naps, and I had to get them down to one nap for daycare.” But we didn't have to worry. She went down to one nap when she was ready because her grandparents will accommodate anything. That was another piece that took a lot of stress off me. – Anne To work through the ambivalence toward shared caregiving, some participants engaged in cognitive reframing toward the role of caregiving, as demonstrated in the following quote: It's hard to be a working mom. Even working part time is hard because of the societal expectations. I talk about this with my mom friends all the time, of the expectations that as a mom, you should be the one to take care of your kids, do the pickup, drop off, and be present all the time. If you're not, there's a lot of mom guilt that can happen. That's hard to break down. I've worked really hard to bring those down. IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 60 Because we're a partnership, the kids are not just mine, they're my husbands too. We work really hard to do 50/50 of the caregiving. I do school drop off and pick up more than him because he works an office job. But then he does bedtime more than me. It balances out. I recognize that we have different gifts, and we'll work with the kids differently and that's cool. I’ve learned to lean into those things and realize I have a capable partner. He can do it. Breastfeeding the baby is the only thing that I can do that he can’t. Other than that, he can do everything else. That has helped a lot with getting rid of the mom guilt. – Rebekah Although some participants developed a shared caregiving narrative more quickly because it was congruent with their personal beliefs, other participants struggled to get this point. However, shared caregiving was a practical aspect that assisted working mothers with their new limitations on their time and energy, as well as protected their personal well-being. Developing a narrative that shared caregiving was beneficial was an integral component that needed to occur to aid their integration of working and mothering. Subtheme 7: New Flexibility & Changing Work Situations After returning to work after becoming a mother, participants in this study reported a tandem process: Becoming flexible and, therefore, needing to adjust or change their work situations. Adjusting work situations related to the mothers’ identity development because the new responsibility of mothering presented new limitations and a greater need to be flexible in meeting their child’s needs. Subsequently, changes in becoming a mother created new needs for workplaces that could offer flexibility and support mothers’ responsibilities. Thus, participants adjusted their external environment to reflect the identity change that had occurred at their internal, personal level. In the integration literature (Mitchell et al., 2021), changing the situation to minimize effects on identity is often a strategy that people use, and in this study, working mothers did that through changing their work. Through changing their work environment, participants IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 61 integrated working and mother into their identity by adjusting their working identity to accommodate their new mothering responsibilities, while still valuing their work through a commitment to continue working. Changing workplaces was a practical outcome that reflected participants’ active identity construction processes, where participants evaluated their parenting responsibilities, values toward work and parenting, and the sustainability of their well-being as a working mother, as demonstrated in the following excerpts: Since I have changed three jobs in the last couple of years, it made me really evaluate what I want to do with my work and the type of work I do. It made me evaluate whether working is worth it. Whether it is worth the stress of going to the office every day. Whether it is worth the logistics and childminding. It definitely made me reevaluate working full time or part time as well. I don't have to work full time, I do, and I haven't looked for a part-time job, because we have childcare. But if we didn't have childcare, that would be a different issue, and I would have to re-evaluate even more. I don’t have to go down that route anymore, since now I do have the flexibility, different work from home options, and understanding team members. I would go down that route if I had to. I've finally have found a team that I enjoy, I can handle the whole day to day, and it doesn’t make me want to quit having the opportunity to be a good contributor to the workforce. – Laura I was working as an online English tutor before I got my customer service role. It wasn't that flexible. I had different sessions, tutoring, meetings, teaching different sessions, so it wasn't that flexible, but it met my needs. But seeing how everything was going, I had to quit that job at some point because it was stressing me out. Then, I got the customer service job, and it was very flexible. – Linda Some participants changed their work situation by changing the hours worked and moved to part-time working agreements. Other participants moved to virtual work agreements, where the majority of working took place at home. For the full-time working mothers working 40 hours per week (see Table 1), working at home was a viable option that helped them achieve balance in both their roles. When I went on mat leave, I wasn't looking to change jobs. A new opportunity came up, and after I came back from mat leave, I went to this new job. I accepted the job because it was 100% remote work, which offered better balance, flexibility in being able to run my household, and looking after my daughter. It was also less IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 62 responsibility. Everything was on me when I was the executive director. There was less flexibility in what I could do with my time. So being one member of a team, as opposed to “the person” appealed. – Joy These experiences demonstrate that participants valued workplaces that were flexible with them and supportive of their roles as mothers, so they could be free to meet their children’s needs, such as attending to sickness, appointments, or important events. Mothers in this study were active in finding workplaces that offered flexibility and support and reflected their identity change as working mothers. Process Four: Maintaining Integration of Working and Mothering After establishing integration of working and mothering, integration was maintained by participants through meaning-making strategies and adopting a flexible and growth mindset. Theme 8: Identifying with Working and Mothering In this theme, participants shared why being a working mother was meaningful to them. Participants maintained integration of working and mothering through seeing both roles as being mutually beneficial work, aligning with their values, and providing opportunities for personal growth. Several participants spoke to the importance of having meaningful work. An important aspect of meaningful work was having work which aligned with the participants’ values. Participants also spoke to the importance of having work that was enriching. Enriching work was seen as being rejuvenating and helpful to participants’ role as a mother. Therefore, work and mothering were seen as compatible and mutually beneficial roles. This is demonstrated in the following excerpts: I love my job. I'm really passionate about non-profit work. I've been working in that sector for a long time with little forays out of that sector, and every time I keep coming back to non-profit because I love the work. I love the people, where values IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 63 align. I admire folks who can work in the frontline, but that is not me. I love being able to put systems and structures in place to support their success. I'm having an indirect, positive impact on folks who need it. Even if I'm not the person delivering services, I'm supporting, and that is meaningful for me. I wish that I could do it less. Honestly, the balance for me would be four days a week of work, and three days a week of everything else. I can't do that right now. Although in the back of my mind it is something to work towards. But doing zero work, I would not be a good person, mom, or partner. It focuses me. It also frees me that when I'm not working, I can be with my daughter. – Joy The biggest thing for me is my internal conversation. I feel like I have the best of both worlds. I have friends that are full time moms and love it, like some moms that are fully stay at home, “I want to homeschool my kids even.” I have friends that work full time while being a mom. Seeing what each of them can or cannot do, I think for me, I just love being in the middle. I feel like I can relate to both. I feel like I get a lot of time with my kids. And then I have that extra. I get a little bit of the best of both worlds and home, but I'm still kind of keeping a foot on career if needed and being able to support. – Rose Participants also shared how being a working mother aligned with their values of parenting. Several participants spoke to the importance of modelling working to their children. In this sense, participants demonstrated integration of working and being a mother as these two spheres were seen as benefitting each other rather than being in conflict, as shared by the following participants: Also, I'm working for my kids, really. We're doing it for ourselves to have a better lifestyle for us. We're working not just for the food and rent, but also to create core memories that they're going to remember. . . That’s why we need to continue working so that we pay for these things, that they have a sense of that family tradition, and family culture of we work so that we can have fun together. Also, I want them to see that women can work. That's an important thing to balance responsibilities between the males and females in the family. I do all the planning work in the house, but I can do all the planning work at work, too. My husband does lots of the cleaning and cooking in the kitchen, and I don't. There's got to be that balance of males/females. The kids understand that I plan stuff for their school or neighbourhood project. I do all this planning for work, and also for family like planning trips to Great Wolf Lodge. That’s my strength and I want them to see the value in that. So, they see the value of me going to work, and paying for the ferry to go to these places. We tell them, if you want to ride to school, then that's gas money that we can pay for to go to school, or we can use that gas money to drive up somewhere else for fun. We're IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 64 trying to put that value of money into them and the cost benefit ratio of things. That is the endgame of why we do the things we do. – Laura . . . And then being able to have fun with the kids and also incorporate them into what I'm doing. For example, my oldest has wanted me to show him colleges and I’ll talk through different colleges. They're not going to understand college admissions but having the opportunity when they come and ask me to look up colleges that have animation because they want to make cartoons and being able to show them that has been fun. That has made me more content being able to have them be a part of things. My husband will also take the kids to the office every now and then and show them what he's doing. It feels really fulfilling to incorporate our kids into what we're doing at work. It helps them understand what we're doing and what working looks like. – Rebekah I want to instill those good values in him of living a life like that. That's what keeps me going in a way as well, knowing that I might be changing his future. – Beth Moreover, a few participants spoke to how work and mothering contributed to personal growth, such as becoming more confident and being able to relate to colleagues who were parents, which is demonstrated in the following narrative: I can't remember who I said this to, but I just felt this renewed energy or renewed ability that I felt being a mom had changed me in some ways. That's hard to put a finger on how it would have changed me. I think it made me a lot more confident somehow in what I already had, and I did notice a difference when I went back to work of feeling confident in a lot of those attributes and aspects of my job that jive well with motherhood. I felt bolder and more confident and certain. That felt good. . . I came back to work and wanted to start up some new programs. Before I had left work, I remember thinking, “I wish I'd push myself a little more.” My job is very selfdirected, and my manager never tells me what to do because the job is up to me to create the programming. I wished I'd done more of that previously, but I would think, “Maybe I just don't have the energy.” Being back at work, I was like, “Okay, I want to do this.” I had this idea for a new program that was going to be more visible to other staff and family members, which I wasn't very accustomed to. Usually, I'm doing my own thing on the units and don't have too many witnesses. That's kind of nice. It's always out in the open but the fear of judgment isn't very present. But this new program had to be out in the main area where the administrative offices are and I knew everyone would see, which made me nervous if it went bad. But I was like, “We're gonna do something new. I have a good reason for why I want to do it this way. I’m just gonna do it.” So, I didn’t necessarily become more confident in the nurturing aspects but had more confidence in general. And the new program is going great. People love it. The executive director came by my office after the first or second time I ran it, and she was like, “That was fantastic. Thank you so much. I want IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 65 you doing more of that.” Family members love it. Residents love it. Staff love it. It's been a huge success, which is really gratifying. Starting up and running that new program for the first time is a memory that sticks out of being that new feeling going back to work. – Anne This theme highlights how working mothers identified with both roles of working and mothering, which aided maintaining identity integration. Theme 9: Adjusting to Accommodate Change The participants in this study emphasized the necessity of being able to adjust and accommodate change. Life circumstances, such as the developmental needs of children, financial constraints, and whether workplaces were no longer an appropriate fit, caused participants to assess their needs and respond appropriately. Being able to adjust demonstrated the participants’ willingness to adapt to changes, rather than having those changes threaten their self-concept of being a working mother. Participants highlighted various strategies and mindsets that enabled them to adjust appropriately. For example, several participants highlighted that change was inevitable. Participants responded by accepting change and adopting a posture of continual learning, as shared in the following excerpt: There were physical challenges in becoming a mom for sure. Just having your body adjust to everything. There were also emotional and mental challenges with the new role of being a parent, but also being a wife as well, and being a partner in a marriage is a whole other dynamic. Navigating the world with a baby or being a parent is different at every stage. Now we are going into the school age stage. So, it is another whole new world. It's new learning in each stage. – Laura Additionally, participants highlighted that the process of learning was imperfect and required repeatedly trying new things and assessing what was working for them. Participants demonstrated a willingness to try new things, make mistakes, and adjust accordingly. Although participants tried to make educated decisions regarding what would be best for IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 66 them and their families, they acknowledged the many unknowns that required continual assessment and refinement. This state of learning is demonstrated in the quotes below: I guess reflecting on that journey and the process of being content in working and being a mom, it's a lot of trial and error. It’s not something I could look at and be like, this is it. I had to try different things and roles to see what kind of work was good. I would come home from my church job and be so tired, which made it hard to engage with the kids and be the mom I wanted to be. I was just so down depending on what happened during the day, and I didn’t like coming home and giving my kids my second best rather than my first. That's really important to me. – Rebekah There was also some educated guessing that went into it combining work and being a mom and trying to figure out what would work well. I knew from the beginning that music therapy would be a pretty flexible career. I did go into music therapy thinking about being a mom because I knew I could have a few contracts here and there. It's pretty hard to find a full-time position. They're out there, but just not too common. Most people have a bit of a mishmash of this contract, that contract or part time work, and then a couple of contracts . . . Anyway, it was a decently well guided guess that this was going to be what worked. – Anne To adjust to the constant changes that participants experienced, participants reported using strategies of preparing, becoming more organized, and being pro-active. For example, this participant shares: After my second child, everything felt a bit new. I had more job in my hand. Like taking care of a baby was a whole lot of new and more work added to the work I already had. It wasn’t easy to adjust, but I had to adjust and think okay, there is one more person added. I just had to try and make everything work. It wasn’t easy. I adjusted by always planning my day. Getting ready for the day's activities at night, by bringing out all the things that I need for the next day. For example, getting my children's clothes ready and getting everything ready long before the day runs out. I just make sure I prepare everything and everything is ready, and also know that in the morning, I just have to adjust as fast as possible. It's difficult to adjust, but as time goes on, it just felt like a normal activity for us. – Linda Similar to the process of learning, participants highlighted that the imperfect process of using strategies. Instead of focusing on the imperfections, participants focused on maintaining an attitude of perseverance, as exemplified in the following quote: IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 67 Another thing is, there's always times when things don't go well, and you're not organized enough, you didn't meal plan, and you didn't get your exercise in. But just pick up the pieces. I sometimes hear about people giving up, and I think no, don’t do that, tomorrow's a new day. It'll always be okay. Don't give up. Keep trying. Keep sticking to those things. That's been the reason I've managed to get through those times. Owning the business has made that a lot harder because there's less of a schedule. With my last job, I was able to be more organized, but things change for me now on a daily basis. Something might come up, and my schedule might change. That really throws a wrench in things. I've had to even become more open-minded to that. – Beth In this theme, participants demonstrated adaptability and flexibility in integrating their identities as mothers and professionals. Collectively, these excerpts demonstrate how maintaining a flexible mindset, coupled with strategic planning, resilience, and proactive problem solving were essential for maintaining identity integration and potentially a part of developing a working mother identity. These experiences also demonstrate that integration requires hard work and continual adjustment. Theme 10: “I’m Not at my Ideal Yet” This theme encapsulates the complexities and struggles that the participants still experienced when managing different facets of their identity, such as personal interests, career, and family. Most participants shared not being at their ideal place yet in these different areas and highlighted the ongoing efforts to improve their situations. Not being at their ideal state represents two potential aspects, a.) lack of resources to support identity integration, and b.) the liminal nature of identity transition. For some participants, not being at their ideal situation was a result of not having enough time and resources to support their needs as individuals. Not having enough time and resources dedicated to pursuits that promoted individual interests and well-being resulted in diverting attention from meeting the needs of the mother to focus on other pressing matters. IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 68 Most participants coped with being at their less-than-ideal situations by attributing the situations as being temporary. Participants saw these situations as not having a fixed status and being malleable to change. They also saw themselves as active agents in producing the changes needed to support their individual needs, as demonstrated in the following excerpts: I didn't have the oldest at daycare full time. I didn't want that. I think that's why I struggled with my youngest because he goes full time now and I feel bad about that. Because on my off day, I work at home doing my digital marketing work. Sometimes I still want to drop a day where I’m working. Eventually I’d like to job share with someone. I think that's why I'm trying to do this other thing on the side because then I can drop hours but still keep income coming. I feel like right now I'm in a weird transition where I love what I'm doing but I do want to spend less time doing it, but they need someone more at my work. I'm trying to find ways of making it work before bringing it up. – Rose I would not say that I have found the balance of everything that I need. That's definitely an ongoing struggle. I've been back at work just over a year now. I ____ one day a week, which when I was training, it was five days a week, and before motherhood, it was three days a week. Even if I’m not training for competition, it's important. It’s my love and passion. It’s physical exercise, problem solving, intellectually challenging, and important for my mental health. Although once a week was the right amount of time last year, I’m needing more. I don't have enough hours in the week to do it all. I'm trying to do a return to run program. Despite being more active than a lot of moms, I'm not liking how my body is evolving with less exercise. My partner and I do intentionally make time to be together as a couple, but it's dependent on other persons being available and I’m conscious of how much we're asking of other people. Then the only alone time that I get at home to just sit, read, or do whatever I want is if I wake up at three in the morning, and I can read for a couple of hours, and then go back to sleep because my daughter is a low sleep needs child, so she doesn't go to sleep until 10 o'clock. . . I guess the other thing is the mental load of running a household, which is so real. My partner does not notice the same things that I notice around the house, and I manage the house. Also, making time for life administration and paying bills. When do I have time for that? We’re working on all these things. I don't think they're things that make me discontent. Again, with that whole mindset around continuous improvement, continuous learning, continuous growth, it's I can be content now, but there's a lot of room where things could be better. So, I'm going to continue to work on those. We’re all doing the best that we can. I'm not in crisis mode. – Joy As demonstrated previously in Theme 9, “Adjusting to Accommodate Change,” participants reported a major part of their identity construction was learning to adjust and IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 69 adapt to frequent changes. The reality of constantly adapting and being in a less-than-ideal state might signify the liminal, evolving nature of identity construction and integration, as demonstrated in the following quote: I am probably still transitioning with the changes in becoming a mother. I went from being completely independent to now everything has to depend on me. I'm the one organizing everything or dealing with things. With COVID, I got more used to staying at home locked down, and now working from home. It's not so bad. It’s not like I hate working from home, I love it. But it's very much a different perspective that I don't have the freedom to pick up and go, and I’m still getting used to that. I know travelling is a bit on the back burner. I'm not traveling now, but as soon as the kids get older than I know it's possible. I have friends that tell me that when your kid turns 8, 9,10, you could just go with one of them, and I see a future of doing that. – Laura Recognizing the liminal nature of identity integration required participants to acknowledge that changes take time, and they may not be able to get to their ideal circumstance immediately. Navigating this period necessitated maintaining the balance between accepting the reality of limitations and lack of resources and support, and actively coping with being in a less-than-ideal state while holding onto hope for improvement. Overall, these excerpts reflect the theme "Not at my ideal yet" by showcasing each individual's recognition of their current challenges of identity integration and their ongoing efforts to achieve a better integration in their lives. Despite not being in their ideal situations, they reported striving for improvement, change, and growth. Contextual Themes These next themes situate the participants in their unique contexts and highlight the different supports and resources that supported them as they constructed a working mother identity and integrated working and mothering. Workplaces IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 70 Participants reported that flexible, family-oriented workplaces was integral in merging working and mothering. Workplaces that were willing to accommodate participants’ schedules and needs as a mother supported working mothers’ identity integration. For example, participants shared the importance of having workplaces that allowed them to leave early to pick up kids from school and daycare and take time off or rearrange work when children were sick or had special events. Joy highlighted her workplace’s policy that ensured she could take time off without effecting pay. Another participant, Rose, shared that she was able to negotiate her hours with her workplace to be more well-suited to her family life. Additionally, several participants spoke to engaging in work-at-home arrangements to better balance work and home responsibilities. Regarding maternity leaves, participants in Canada reported that having an extended maternity leave (12 to 18 months) allowed them to adjust to being a mother and supported their postpartum recovery. Moreover, having clear maternity leave policies were helpful in assisting participants make choices regarding leaves. Participants in the United States spoke to engaging with part-time or virtual work post maternity leave to cope with shorter maternity leaves (8 to 12 weeks). Regarding work environment, most participants highlighted the social aspect of work as bringing enjoyment and satisfaction to work. Participants reported appreciating colleagues and employees that were positive, understanding, and supportive of them as individuals and mothers. The participant who was self-employed reported the importance of having reliable employees. Additionally, participants highlighted being aligned with their company’s values and finding personal fulfillment in the work they did. Participants also shared that IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 71 unsupportive workplaces or work that impeded on their personal and family time, were not worth pursuing. Families & Partners Participants highlighted the importance of having a family (partner, parents, extended family) and pseudo-family (friends) network in helping them with caregiving and household tasks. Generally, participants reported having partners that were hands-on with parenting and household tasks. Having a supportive partner also aided identity development for most participants as they felt less overwhelmed in meeting both roles resulting in less conflict between identities. Caregiving Situation Participants shared that having others share the caregiving responsibilities was pivotal. For some, this need was met through family and friends. For others, it was met through formal daycares. The themes that participants spoke to in helping them adjust was having caregivers that were willing to accommodate their children’s needs. Additionally, feeling connected to their child’s caregivers was shared as being an important factor. Summary Through narrative thematic analysis, 10 themes described the process of working mothers’ identity development and integration of working and mothering roles. These themes represent various identity tasks and processes that working mothers in this study reported experiencing. For example, the first process, “Developing an Expectant Working Mother Identity” consisted of themes that highlight participants reflection on childhood experiences of having a (non)working mother and how emotions influence their ideals and decisions regarding being a working mother. The second process, “Becoming a Mother” described how IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 72 participants often experience an identity disruption when becoming a mother and how they cope with this transition by seeking out identity anchors to be reconnected with their selfconcept. The third process, “Establishing Integration” described how participants recognized new limitations and changes in themselves with becoming a working mother and how they accommodated to both identities through practical tasks, such as changing their work environment and developing a narrative toward sharing caregiving. The last process, “Maintaining Integration” described how participants viewed being a working mother as beneficial, continued to accommodate to changes, and recognized various struggles that hindered identity integration. These themes showcase that developing a working mother identity and integrating working and mothering is a complex process that often consists of reconciling ambivalent emotions, values, beliefs, and experiences. The findings of this study have important implications that are discussed in the next chapter. IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 73 CHAPTER 5: DISCUSSION The purpose of this study was to examine how working mothers with young children, who are generally content in motherhood and work, construct a narrative working mother identity and the process of integrating mothering and working into their identity. By examining identity integration in working mothers, this study was able to examine the strategies that working mothers take to establish and maintain identity congruence, which gives a fuller understanding of identity development in working mothers and provides implications for counselling practices and workplaces. Many of the themes outlined in the findings align with the extant research on working mothers and identity development. I interpret these themes and discuss their similarities and novel contribution to the extant literature (refer to Table 2 for processes and themes). I also outline theoretical and practical implications of the findings to counselling psychology and workplaces. After discussing these implications, I reflect on how my perspective has changed through engaging in this project. I then acknowledge limitations of the present study and opportunities for future research. Significance Process One The first identity integration process, “Developing an Expectant Working Mother Identity,” describes how the participants in the study perceived who they were before being a mother and how that influenced their future ideal sense of self of being a working mother. The first theme, “Reflecting on Childhood Mothering Experiences,” demonstrates how participants used autobiographical reasoning to make sense of their values by reflecting on their past experiences of being mothered. A small amount of research attends to how mothers IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 74 use autobiographical reasoning to make sense of their identity development by predominantly focusing on how mothers impact children and adolescents’ development of autobiographical reasoning (Bosmans et al., 2012; Habermas et al., 2010; Habermas, 2011). Therefore, this theme offers novel insights into how women reflect on their own mothers well into adulthood when constructing their identity. When asked about their early experiences of thinking about being a mother and working, most participants began their reflection in childhood. They recalled their experience of being mothered by a mother who worked or did not work. There was not a direct pattern that demonstrated whether participants of working mothers saw being a working mother as positive and vice versa, which is somewhat inconsistent with the literature. In the literature, various studies outline the importance of role models in becoming a working mother (Hennekam, 2016; McGinn et al., 2018). Instead, the participants in the present study shared the complexities of having either a mom who worked or did not work and how that influenced their values and ideals as working mothers. Participants reflected on their mothers’ decisions and the outcomes of those decisions in their mother’s life. By taking all the information from their mother’s narrative through the course of their life, participants then reflected on what they wanted for their own life as a mother and individual. For some participants, this meant aligning with some aspects of their mothers’ choices. However, for most participants, this process spoke to their individuality and how they contrasted with their mother’s choices by finding creative solutions to fulfill their own unique desires. Most participants anchored their stories of what influenced them as working mothers by beginning their reflection in childhood and gathering information from their IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 75 mother’s experience, but overall, crediting their development of a working mother identity to their agency and choices. This theme of reflecting on childhood mothering experiences emphasizes the identity work women undergo when constructing their values towards being a working mother, which includes assessing their childhood experiences and developing values towards being a mother long before they become a mother. Additionally, this identity work showcased how individuals take their own mother’s experience, story, and wisdom, and generate a lifestyle that aligns with their ideals. This finding extends our knowledge of how women develop a working mother identity by demonstrating the identity work that is present throughout a woman’s lifespan, as the present literature focuses on early adulthood, pregnancy, and postpartum experiences (Bataille, 2014; Garcia-Lorenzo et al., 2023; Ladge et al., 2015). The present theme may add more nuance to working mothers’ identity work, as it emphasizes the participants’ unique interpretation of having a working or nonworking mother and how it informs their identity construction. Regarding the second theme in the process of developing an expectant working mother identity, “Avoiding Emotional Incongruency,” the relationship between emotions and identity work has only started to be studied in the last decade (Winkler, 2016), which might elucidate why this theme is a particularly novel finding to the literature that examines working mothers’ identity development. In the present study, engaging with emotions was an integral factor in the participants’ identity work. Throughout their narratives, the participants shared the emotional labour involved in developing a working mother identity and integrating working and mothering. Participants shared concerns about feeling anger and resentment towards their children and a sense of loss if being a mother required giving up IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 76 integral parts of their self. Many of these concerns occurred before participants became mothers, as participants assessed how having children might change their lives and identities, particularly, their working identity. Trettevik (2016) and Stets (2005) propose that individuals experience emotional intensity when there are discrepancies between their perceived identity and how that identity is enacted in daily circumstances. Moreover, Trettevik (2016) suggests that emotions play an important role in motivating individuals to actively eliminate identity discrepancies. Perhaps, participants in the present study observed potential identity discrepancies and corresponding emotional states motivated them to construct a working mother identity that aligned with their perceived sense of self. Ladge and Greenberg (2015) reported that many postpartum women who return to work experience uncertainty. To cope, Ladge and Greenberg (2015) propose that these participants used elaborate future work, which describes envisioning how they will be as a mother or working mother and their corresponding emotions, behaviour, and understanding of self. Similarly, the participants in the present study engaged in identity work by assessing their emotional concerns and individual identity needs and how that might coincide with becoming a mother. Scholars propose that emotions are integral for individuals to reconcile identity conflicts and are also a way for people to understand themselves (Winkler, 2016). Participants in the present study may have assessed their emotional concerns to preemptively reconcile working and mothering identity conflicts or because they already understood their unique, individual needs about work and motherhood. These emotional concerns seemed to influence participants in developing a working mother identity that honoured multiple aspects of self, which included continuing to work after having children. IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 77 Moreover, by engaging in emotion-focused identity work, participants also deconstructed “the intensive mothering narrative” (Hays, 1996) by including their own identity needs in the equation of being a mother. These actions may contribute to identity integration, as the participants in the present study assessed what emotions may be present if mothering and working identities conflicted and how that would affect themselves and their children. This current theme is significant because it demonstrates the importance that working mothers attribute to emotions when constructing a working mother's identity. Recent studies are examining the role that ambivalence, rage, and resentment play in mothering experiences and highlight the importance of understanding these emotions to better help and support mothers’ identity development and mental health (Billotte Verhoff & Hosek, 2022; Chapman & Gubi, 2019). Process Two The second process, “Experiencing Identity Disruption” after becoming a mother, is consistent with the extant literature. Experiencing identity disruption when becoming a mother is a well-documented process in the literature (Bataille, 2014; Chapman & Gubi, 2019; Garcia-Lorenzo et al., 2023; Ladge et al., 2015; Laney et al., 2014; Laney et al., 2015), and aligns with the third theme, “I Didn’t Know.” In this theme, most participants focused on their lack of knowledge and uncertainties regarding being a mother and feeling ill-prepared for the identity change. Participants spoke to the large gap between what they thought encapsulated being a mother and their own reality. Experiencing this disruption may have been a natural consequence of being in the newborn stage, as participants spoke about the intensity of mothering and being responsible for an infant’s well-being. This finding aligns with Laney et al.’s (2015) research, where participants described identity loss as being the IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 78 most intensive during the period of caregiving for an infant, which required constant and vital care. During this stage, participants struggled to meet their needs while attending to the needs of their children. Laney et al. (2015) described this period as catalyzing the development of maternal identity, as new mothers may fracture their previous self-concept to make space for children. Chapman and Gubi (2019) found that fracturing one’s sense of self to make space for children can sometimes lead to feelings of loss and resentment towards one’s children. Participants in Laney et al.’s (2015) study shared that doing and identifying with mothering work, rather than only giving birth, caused a gradual confidence and internal sense of being a mother. Previous research has outlined that new mothers eventually regain a sense of self back (Chapman & Gubi, 2015; Laney et al., 2015), although limited research has documented how this occurs over time. The present findings may provide some insight into this process by examining identity work in mothers with children under age five, highlighting an important and novel contribution to the literature. Participants sought what is labelled in the fourth theme as “Identity Anchors” to re-stabilize a sense of identity. Identity anchors consisted of activities that helped the women in the present study connect back to themselves or their new identity as mothers following experiencing identity disruption. Laney et al. (2015) described that mothers regain a sense of self once mothering becomes less time and energy-consuming as children grow older. The present research highlights that this was not an unconscious process by mothers, but instead the participants actively worked to restore a sense of who they were before motherhood. Within the identity integration literature, seeking identity anchors could be similar to what is known as identity exploration (McLean & Syed, 2016), where individuals explore new questions about themselves and what they want IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 79 following identity disruption. For most participants, exploring identity anchors occurred during maternity leave, which coincided with the disorientation in becoming a mother. Regarding their working mother identity development, several participants reported returning to work felt like a natural, consecutive step in returning to their sense of self. Thus, for the participants in the present study, having a professional identity seemed to be an integral part of their self-concept before motherhood, which they aimed to preserve and help reorient the participants to their sense of self post-birth. This finding is similar to Bataille’s (2014) study which found that after becoming a mother, participants engaged in identity work aimed at preserving a sense of pre-motherhood self, which for many participants included enacting their sense of professional identity. This theme tentatively proposes that enacting a previous professional identity can be a helpful conduit for mothers who struggle with identity shifts in becoming a mother. Process Three The third identity integration process, “Establishing a Working Mother Identity” describes the shifts that women went through to incorporate working and mothering into their self-concept after becoming a mother and returning to work. The themes in this process align with identity integration literature that describes the strategy of “accommodating” one’s identity to new life circumstances (Mitchell et al., 2021). The first theme in the process is “Accepting New Limitations,” which describes how working mothers in this study incorporated their new mothering identity and child responsibilities with working. Although several participants in the study explored and used “Identity Anchors” to preserve a sense of pre-motherhood self, this current theme describes how most participants accepted their reality had changed after having children. By accepting IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 80 limitations on their time and energy, participants reported breaking from narratives that idealized motherhood or working. Instead, participants focused on being “good enough” in both work and mothering roles. This finding aligns with previous research by Johnson and Swanson (2006) examining how stay-at-home, part-time, and full-time working mothers all construct different narratives of what comprises a good mother. In the present study, working mothers who were generally content in working and mothering constructed narratives that reported letting go of idealistic versions of self and emphasized the imperfect balancing act of mothering and working. This aligns with Spiteri and Xuerub’s (2012) findings that showed that working mothers often change their priorities after maternity leave, which included valuing quality family time over completing household tasks. However, this “good enough” narrative is somewhat inconsistent with Garcia-Lorenzo et al.’s (2023) study that found that working mothers comply with societal expectations by attempting to maintain high standards in both areas. Garcia-Lorenzo et al.’s (2023) study did not specifically look at integration, which might explain the difference between studies. Accepting limitations might be an important facet for working mothers in achieving integration and contentment in dual roles. When establishing a working mother identity, participants in this study had to contend with the logistics of merging work and mothering responsibilities. I argued in Chapter 4 that these practical tasks were a result of an identity change in participants, where participants adjusted their external environments to reflect the changes that happened to participants’ identities at the internal level. The subsequent themes, “Developing Values and Narrative Toward Shared Caregiving” and “New Flexibility and Changing Working Situations,” describe the relationship between participants’ identity integration work and the logistics of merging working and mothering spheres. These themes may represent localized IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 81 findings, as many notable studies on working mother identity development do not speak to these themes as being important in identity work (Garcia-Lorenzo et al., 2023; Hennekam et al., 2019; Ladge et al., 2012; Ladge & Greenberg, 2015). Instead, when these themes are present in other studies, these scholars merge these themes with higher-order processes or label these findings as contextual pieces. However, in the present study, women reported that developing a narrative about shared caregiving was an important process in deciphering their values toward caregiving and their role as working mothers. Although developing a narrative toward shared caregiving has not been documented as identity work, studies have demonstrated that working mothers develop caregiving narratives that support their ability to work (Christoper, 2012). Moreover, developing a shared caregiving narrative demonstrates deconstruction of master cultural narratives, such as intensive mothering, which have correlated with poor mental health and well-being outcomes (Rizzo et al., 2013). Therefore, developing shared caregiving narratives is potentially adaptive and protects the well-being of working mothers. Moreover, all participants in this study adjusted their work environments after becoming mothers, signifying the relevance of context to support identity integration. Participants shared that becoming a mother required them to become flexible, which required them to find workplaces that would mirror their new needs for flexibility. This finding is similar to Ladge and Greenberg’s (2014) study, which found that flexible work environments helped new mothers feel less uncertain about their efficacy at work and about their maternal identity. In Bataille’s (2014) study, women who integrated working and motherhood engaged in “enacting,” where women acted out a harmonious sense of self by making decisions about childcare options, staying in the same profession, or changing careers. Similarly, I propose IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 82 that themes of valuing shared caregiving and adjusting work situations demonstrated how the participants acted out their congruent sense of their working mother identity, which required making decisions about childcare situations and finding workplaces supportive of how they wished to be a mother and professional. Process Four The fourth identity integration process, “Maintaining a Working Mother Identity,” describes how the participants maintained their working mother identity past the initial postpartum period and into the period while working with young children. In the first theme of this process, “Identifying with Being a Working Mother,” participants described making meaning of their working mother status. In particular, participants highlighted how work and family domains enriched each other and themselves, and how they valued modelling being a working mother to their children. This finding is similar to Christopher’s (2012) work, which found that working mothers developed narratives that showcased employment as having personal benefits to them and their children. Moreover, this finding aligns with literature that examines how identity issues coincide with experiencing work-family enrichment (Wayne et al., 2006). A recent study conducted by Rossen et al. (2024) also found that working mothers who coped well during the COVID-19 pandemic derived a sense of meaning and purpose in both home and work spheres. Highlighting the positive attributes of being a working mother seemed to help participants in the present study maintain an integrated working mother identity that viewed both roles as enriching to themselves and their families. The themes “Adjusting to Accommodate Changes” and “I’m Not at My Ideal Yet” align with the identity literature, where identity work is considered a lifelong task in developing and dealing with identity issues (Erikson, 1968). In the theme, “Adjusting to IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 83 Accommodate Changes,” participants spoke about how being a working mom required constantly adjusting and engaging in trial-and-error until finding an outcome that worked for them. Instead of allowing the constant changes to threaten their self-concept as working mothers, participants maintained their identity by incorporating the mindset that changing and adapting is an inevitable part of being a working mother. Similarly, the third theme in maintaining a working mother identity, “I’m Not at my Ideal Yet,” also demonstrates the evolving nature of developing a working mother identity. In this theme, participants shared areas that did not meet their idealized version of being a working mother, such aa having inadequate time to pursue self-care practices or wishing to cut down on working hours. By acknowledging areas in their working and mothering lives that were less than ideal, participants indicated facets of their identity needs that were unmet and that they were working towards meeting. However, most participants reported not having the resources, time, or support to meet various identity needs, which also shows the challenges that working mothers experience in their identity work. This theme of not being at an ideal state may show that mothers do not necessarily have to meet every need to be content in their working and mothering circumstances. Participants coped with challenges by focusing on what they desired for the future. This type of identity work aligns with narrative identity research that proposes that individuals develop narratives to incorporate a sense of self over time, which includes past, present, and future selves (McAdams, 2011). Envisioning a future ideal working mother self signifies aspects of self that individuals held as being important, although they were not able to act out those current ideals. This finding may demonstrate that mothers ebb and flow in terms of being content but are able to adapt and find solutions that work to keep themselves content overall in mothering and working IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 84 spheres. Perhaps keeping hold of one’s vision helps maintain integration and contentment over time, even when there are certain times when integration and contentment are more difficult to achieve. This evolving nature of developing a working mother identity is a finding only recently documented in the working mother identity literature, which may potentially be because studies tend to focus on the earliest transitions to work and motherhood. A notable study that aligns with these themes is Garcia-Lorenzo et al.’s (2023) recent work, which found that working mothers developed narratives that emphasized that the transition to motherhood is a constant, ongoing process without an endpoint. These themes exemplify this constant identity negotiation and potentially signify the specific identity work that working mothers undergo in their identity development, such as adaptability, perseverance, optimism, future mindedness, and the openness to try new things. In summary, the majority of the findings of the present study demonstrate theoretical consistency with the literature’s knowledge of mothers’ and working mother’s identity development. Areas of novel contribution include how working mothers attend to their childhood memories of having a working or nonworking mother, the emotional labour involved in working mothers’ identity work, and the active process of engaging in identity work to develop a working mother identity. Regarding how working mothers constructed a narrative identity where they were generally content in both roles, the following scripts emerged: Shared caregiving was an important value which resulted in deconstructing intensive mothering narratives, deferring from supermom or ideal worker scripts and emphasizing “good enough” mothering, and adopting a flexible, adaptive mindset as being a working mom constantly changes over time. IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 85 Implications The identity development literature has largely neglected the experience of adult identity development, especially within motherhood. The present research indicated various areas that are pertinent to working mothers’ identity development but are under-researched topics in the identity literature. These topics include the emotional labour of identity work, using autobiographical memory of their own mothers to elucidate their working and parenting choices, and balancing preserving a pre-motherhood self with accommodating a new mothering self-concept. Researching these distinctive aspects of identity work in more depth is important to understand mothers’ identity development. The findings of this study could also assist women in their identity development as working mothers. Knowledge translation of this study’s findings could provide information, resources, support, and solidarity to women who are grappling with decision-making about having children or remaining childfree, expecting mothers, working mothers with young children, and new mothers who are conflicted about returning back after having a child. The general public could be informed about the research findings through webinars that explain the identity development process and offer useful suggestions about how to support one’s identity construction and status as a working mother. Additionally, the research findings could be disseminated through news anchors. Furthermore, this study has various potential implications for counselling psychology. As outlined in Chapter 2, identity integration is considered an important facet for well-being (Mitchell et al., 2021), and the findings of the present study can assist counselling practitioners who support working mothers. Specifically, for working mothers that are making choices about parenting and working or struggling with identity issues, counselling IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 86 practitioners may wish to engage with client’s perceptions of motherhood and a working mother. Understanding a working mother’s narrative about herself and her values can assist counsellors in noticing potential faulty identity conclusions. Moreover, counsellors can assess whether intensive mothering narratives are creating pressure and sensitively challenge areas that might detract from a mother’s well-being or interest in working. Practitioners can also explore emotions that are salient in clients’ narratives and explore values and salient identity conflicts that might be arising for clients. Counsellors may also wish to explore activities that help clients feel connected to pre-motherhood self, while acknowledging the grieving process of losing parts of self and accommodating to a new motherhood selfconcept. This study also indicates various ways working mothers can be supported in integrating a working mother identity. As demonstrated in Chapter 4, workplaces that were flexible and willing to accommodate to participants’ schedules and needs made mothering easier and reduced ambivalence toward having dual roles. Workplaces that wish to retain their employees who are becoming mothers may want to adopt policies towards having flexible schedules and virtual work options. Policies could include having formal statements of available options, so women are clearly aware of their resources. Workplaces could also explore developing work cultures that are family friendly and view working moms and children positively because participants highlighted that healthy work environments and colleagues were an integral part of enjoying work after having children. Moreover, Canadian maternity leave provisions between 12-18 months of paid parental leave were cited as being helpful for Canadian participants, as it gave mothers time to recover physically and adjust to becoming a mother. Potentially, other nations, such as the United States may wish to reform IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 87 maternity leave provisions to incorporate longer leaves to better support mothers and families. Moreover, these findings may indicate that supporting mothers and children is a crucial responsibility of communities and society. As the adage goes, “It takes a village to raise a child.” Participants highlighted how family and pseudo-family networks helping with caregiving and household tasks helped reduce conflict and guilt in mothering roles. Having formal daycare options that women trusted with their children’s care also aided reducing conflict with working. In various parts of Canada, quality daycare options are often lacking as there are long waitlists or unaffordable options. Current government policies are implementing $10.00 per day childcare subsidies (Government of Canada, 2024). However, various challenges at the provincial level have caused issues in the implementation of these benefits, which has resulted in many families being unable to access registered daycares. These issues demonstrate that provincial and federal governments need to continue to work and assess how policies and resources can realistically support mothers in the workforce. Personal Reflection In this section, I share with the reader how my scholarly and personal perspective has been transformed by engaging in this project. Jane Addams, a feminist pragmatist, proposed that researchers need to be transparent about how the research process changed themselves and their relationships (Caine et al., 2022). I now offer a summary of key points in my reflexive journaling. My undergraduate education was heavily embedded within the postpositivist paradigm, which states that researchers should try to limit subjectivity and aim for reliability. I did not realize how influenced I was by this paradigm. There were personal challenges I IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 88 had to overcome in pursuing a qualitative research design and method, within a feminist pragmatist paradigm. For example, interviewing the first participants compared to the last few participants, I noticed my style changed dramatically. I journaled how I became more relaxed and comfortable engaging with participants in a less structured way that followed their lead rather than focusing on postpositivist values of reliability and validity, which is demonstrated in the following excerpts. I wish I had paused during this part of the interview and asked her how it was for her to not know the process of becoming a mother, what it felt like to not know the process, and for being so surprised at the hard work that entailed being a mother. This was my second interview, and I just still feel such an internal pressure to ask the right questions or to follow my client that I think I missed some parts that would have been very meaningful. I need to trust that what my client is saying is rich and meaningful and stay in the moment instead of thinking ahead (T. Carmichael, personal communication, December 18, 2023). I think also my brain is so post-positivist still, like very regulated, which makes sense, it was like drilled in my undergrad experience, when we practiced research, we would practice our script and try to be the same every time, like very robotic, and I felt like that came through in my first three interviews. These interviews felt a lot more awkward, rigid, to me, and I felt uncertain about my presence (T. Carmichael, personal communication, December 18, 2023). This participant was so fun and such a joy. She was a talker, and oh my gosh did she talk and explain everything in detail. She hardly let me ask her a question and then she would just take off. I felt more at ease talking with this client and I think her ease just helped me break out of my internal rigidity and interview style (T. Carmichael, personal communication, January 11, 2024). As an undergraduate student, I was drawn to philosophical pragmatism and the works of William James and John Dewey. This project was my first opportunity to incorporate my values and beliefs within research. Pragmatism offers a way for me to approach research questions creatively in design and method. Through engaging in this study, I was stretched to learn the practicality and nuance of engaging in qualitative research. I feel more comfortable IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 89 moving between paradigms and honouring the confines and values that various methods hold, which is what I aspire to be as a pragmatist researcher. On a personal level, I have been profoundly impacted by my participants’ interviews while engaging with the data over an extended period. Through this project, the participants inspired me to begin my own identity work towards how I envisioned motherhood, and how working would be incorporated into my mothering identity. I mentioned in the introduction that I came to this project with a general naivete toward motherhood and the obstacles that mothers, especially working mothers, encounter in performing their roles. Engaging in this research opened a labyrinth of personal questions that I had to examine at intrapsychic, relational, financial, gendered, and spiritual levels. I did not know the extent of opinions and pressures that mothers face from social media, society, and personal relationships. I am in the age group where my peers are having children and making various choices of how they wish to parent. The simple act of sharing my thesis topic with friends and family would bring up debate regarding working mothers. For example, I was talking to an acquaintance who had just announced her pregnancy about my thesis topic, and she shared, “I don’t believe in letting other people raise my kids.” The tone and finality of her answer surprised me because in the early days I did not expect much controversy toward my topic, but these answers also demonstrated to me the judgement that women may encounter when working with young children. Experiences such as these cemented in me an increased matricentric feminist mindset that champions the rights of mothers and understanding the subjective experience of working mothers. Through becoming familiar with the participants’ narratives, I learned that society positions working mothers as the “balancing beam” of rearing children, work expectations, IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 90 relationships, and personal longings, and tries to blame mothers when something tumbles off the beam. Yet the mothers in this study either resisted being positioned as the sole beam that supports everything or they normalized the process of things falling and emphasized getting back up. This discernment between knowing when one is responsible and when one is not resonated with me. There seemed to be a constant dialectic in the mothers’ narratives that challenged me to become more open-minded and flexible towards what it means to be a mother. Through the participants’ narratives, I have become convinced toward the necessity of shared caregiving, which helped me deconstruct the intensive mothering narratives surrounding me. However, other themes were more challenging for me to comprehend. During data analysis, I struggled, in particular, with how the participants shared about the tandem between becoming a mother and learning their new limitations. This reality is something that I personally wished to resist as I find it difficult to accept limitations, and I imagine this facet might be an integral part of my future motherhood narrative and potential identity loss. It was also sometimes difficult for me to engage in the “process” aspect of constructing a working mother identity during interviews, which is demonstrated in the following audit journal excerpt. The process of getting this interview took a lot of patience and flexibility. We rescheduled two times, (due to forgetfulness, having a snow day with the kids at home) and when we finally did the interview we started in the morning and then finished the rest of the interview in the evening because of a work need that arose in the morning. I told the participant that I am learning that moms need a lot of flexibility, and we laughed about that. I enjoyed interviewing this participant too. There were a few moments that I found difficult, like her postpartum journey and sitting in the struggle with participants of trying to figure out their stories. I think there was a part of me that wanted to hear, “you can do anything.” And working mom life is so great, and what not, but I see the struggle that moms go through, and asking these fundamental questions of, “am I good mom?” “Am I making the right choices IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 91 for my kid and family?” and sometimes sitting in that is uncomfortable because it requires a wrestling that is hard for me to be in, because I want my participants to answer with a resounding yes or have closure around that question, but it doesn’t always happen, and sometimes they’re still in that stage of asking what is good for them (T. Carmichael, personal communication, February 1, 2024). Additionally, there was a piece of identity work that struck me personally, but which I did not include in the finding’s main themes because it was constructed at the latent level compared to the semantic coding that I chose to guide the findings. Most participants shared explicitly or implicitly about the aspects of developing a working mother identity which worked for them, while delineating that these aspects may not work for others. In this way, participants positioned themselves as making specific choices for themselves and acknowledging that this might not work for others, and they would not judge others’ choices. Hearing this perspective from participants made me curious. Did these participants share this caveat as a disclaimer because they had been judged for their choices and did not wish to impose judgment on others? Or was it because there is an aspect of identity integration that requires commitment to personally important characteristics while acknowledging this makes them different from others? Since there will always be opinions and cultural scripts toward mothering, it seems that an integral part of integrating working and mothering into one’s identity requires women to carve out their individuality while holding cognitive flexibility and respect for others’ choices. Hearing this internal processing from participants influenced me to be more confident in my choices and beliefs. Perhaps future research can examine this phenomenon of holding to one’s values and distinction in individuality while engaging in cognitive flexibility to hold space for others’ lifestyles. Although this project largely outlined my ignorance toward the challenges working mothers encounter, I was also personally encouraged by the participants’ narratives and IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 92 interacting with these mothers. I realize that being a working mother is hard and requires many layers of assessing values to integrate working and mothering. However, my experience with these participants produced hope, which I wish will not be limited to my engagement with this thesis, but also to any working mother reading this work. Limitations & Future Research I recognize the limitations of this study may provide opportunities for future research. This study was not purposively designed to be limited to participants with post-secondary education or heteronormative partnerships, but all of the women that participated in this study fit this demographic. Having post-secondary education may have precipitated more agency in developing identity integration of working and mothering. As documented, most participants changed their jobs or features of their job after becoming a mother to acquire greater flexibility in their work situations, which may have been made more possible as a competitive candidate in the job market, privilege, and access to resources. Additionally, all participants were in heteronormative partnerships, and spoke to having supportive partners, which potentially demonstrates a cultural change in gender norms toward work and parenting, but still fails to account for the experiences of single mothers and mothers in homosexual partnerships. Future studies may wish to examine identity development in these areas to mark differences or similarities in identity integration with these populations. Although the findings align with various aspects of the extant literature, which may demonstrate transferability and credibility of the findings, the design of the present research is exploratory and not generalizable to the population. The qualitative, narrative approach of the research design offers a rich theoretical approach to understanding working mothers’ IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 93 identity development and their subjective experience, yet is also confined to this set of participants’ localized knowledge. Future research regarding this subject may wish to examine the specific themes or processes outlined in the findings, especially the importance of autobiographical reasoning in women’s understanding of self and emotion identity work, which has been studied minimally. Moreover, using mixed method approaches for examining either themes, processes, or identity integration in working mothers could help bridge the gap between interpretative and positivistic approaches, and pragmatically, may aid the psychological well-being of working mothers by receiving support from psychologists, government, and policymakers. Additionally, using a longitudinal design to examine working mothers’ identity integration at different times would substantially elucidate the process and contribute to a greater understanding of identity development in women. Moreover, this study extended the literature by examining working mothers who worked when children were under the age of five, but future research could continue to examine motherhood throughout the lifetime, such as mothering experiences with pre-adolescents, adolescents, young adults, and adults. Summary This study examined women’s experiences of developing a working mother identity using a strength-based approach that focused on identity integration. Women did not report having an entirely effortless process in developing a working mother identity where they were generally content with mothering and working roles. Instead, the working mothers in this study described being actively engaged with issues of identity. Through their narratives, women participated in various aspects of identity work, which included memories, emotions, experiencing disruption, adapting to changes, working toward integration, and envisioning an IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS ideal future working mother self. These themes represent the perseverance of working mothers. 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Statistics Canada. https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/en/pub/75-001-x/2009103/pdf/10823eng.pdf?st=YTsd4FI4 IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS APPENDIX A: Recruitment Poster 109 IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 110 APPENDIX B: Phone Screening Interview Thank you for your interest in this study. My name is Tiffany, and I am currently a student in counselling psychology at Trinity Western University. The purpose of the study is to understand identity development in working mothers who are generally content with who they are as a working mother. Do you have any questions about the study? Do you mind if I ask a few questions to see whether you would be a fit for this study? ▪ Do you have a child that is five years old or younger? Or have you had a mothering experience (e.g., stepparent, foster adopt, etc.) in the last five years? ▪ Are you able to communicate in English? ▪ Are you currently in some type of paid employment? ▪ Do you self-identify as being generally content with who you are as a working mother? Participating in the study will require about 3-4 hours of your time, and we would meet twice. The first interview will be 60-90 minutes long and the second interview will be 30-60 minutes long. Both of these interviews will be audio recorded. After the first interview, I will be putting together your story into a narrative format. During the second interview, I will share with you your story in narrative format, and we discuss your identity development further. This will be an opportunity for you to provide feedback. As a token of appreciation for participating, I will provide you with a $25 Amazon gift card after the second interview. If you withdraw from participating after the first interview, you will still receive the gift card for your time and participation. At the end of the second interview, we will debrief and close the study. Do you have any questions for me? Are you interested in participating in the study? (If yes, and participants meet sampling priorities, arrange a date and time for the first interview. If not, or participants do not meet sampling priorities, let them know that you will e-mail them in a week’s time). Thank you for your time and interest. IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 111 1/2 2023-10-04 APPENDIX C: Informed Consent Participant Consent Form Working Mothers & Identity: Integrating Motherhood & Work Principal Investigator: Tiffany Carmichael, M.A. Student in Counselling Psychology, Trinity Western University. Email address: [redacted] Supervisor: Larissa Rossen, Ph.D., Faculty of Graduate Studies, Counselling Psychology, Trinity Western University. Email address: [redacted] As a graduate student, I am required to conduct research as part of the requirements for a degree in Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology. This research is part of a thesis and will be made public following completion. It is being conducted under the supervision of Dr. Larissa Rossen. This research is being funded by the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada. Purpose: The purpose of this study is to understand how working mothers narrate the process of identity development. Procedure: The study will require approximately 3-4 hours of your time. The first interview will be 60-90 minutes long and take place over Zoom. In this interview, I, the principal investigator for this study, will ask you about your identity development as a working mother. The second interview will be 30-60 minutes long and take place over Zoom. In the second interview, I will share your story in narrative format. There will be an opportunity to clarify any aspects from the first interview. At the end of the second interview, we will debrief the study. Both interviews will be audio-recorded. Potential Risks & Discomforts: Participating in this study may be challenging for you for numerous reasons. Although this study is about something meaningful and positive, you may experience some emotional discomfort while sharing about your story and life. All interviews will be conducted by the principal investigator (Tiffany Carmichael) who has training in counselling psychology. I will not provide counselling, but my training will help me create a safe place for you to share your experience. I will also provide you with a referral to clinical counselling services should any emotional distress arise. Potential Benefits to Participants: Participating in this study may be an opportunity for you to gain insight into your own experience of being a working mother and identity development. The information from this study may assist researchers to better understand the process of constructing identity for working mothers. This understanding may be used to inform clinicians who are working with working mothers who are struggling with their identity. IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 112 2023-10-04 2/2 Confidentiality: Any information that is obtained in connection with this study and that can be identified with you will remain confidential and will be disclosed only with your permission or as required by law. For example, audio-visual recordings and transcripts will be kept in an encrypted, password protected folder on the researcher’s personal laptop computer or on an encrypted, password protected USB. Audio-recordings and transcripts will be kept until the completion of the research. Following completion of this project, all nonanonymized data will be deleted from the computer/USB and shredded by the researcher. Confidentiality of information shared through participation in this research will be maintained under every circumstance, with exception only in the following situations: ▪ When there is a clear risk of substantial harm to yourself or threat of harm towards another person ▪ When there is reason to believe that a child or a vulnerable adult is at risk of harm, including physical, sexual, or emotional abuse, or exploitation ▪ When a court of law requires the release of personal information Token of Appreciation: As a participant, you will be provided with a $25 Amazon gift card at the second interview. If you withdraw from the study following the first interview, you will still receive this gift card for your time and participation. Consent: Your participation in this study is entirely voluntary. You may refuse to participate or withdraw from the study at any time (in person, via email, or telephone) until April 1st, 2024. If you choose to withdraw from the study before April 1st, 2024, any data that has been collected from you by that point will be destroyed. Your withdrawal from this study is not possible after April 1st, 2024, because the researcher has integrated your story into the dataset or anonymized your identifying information. You are asked to provide a pseudonym to protect your identity. Contact for information about study: If you have any questions or desire further information with respect to this study, you may contact Tiffany Carmichael, [redacted], or Dr. Larissa Rossen, [redacted]. Contact for concerns about the rights of research participants: If you have any concerns about your treatment or rights as a research participant, you may contact the Ethics Compliance Officer in the Office of Research, Trinity Western University at [redacted] or [redacted]. Signatures: Your signature below indicates that you have had any questions about the study answered to your satisfaction and that you have received a copy of this consent form for your own records. Your signature indicates that you consent to participate in this study and that your responses may be put in anonymous form and kept for further use after the completion of this study. Research Participant Signature Printed Name of Research Participant _____________________________ _____________________________ IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS Date _____________________________ 113 IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 114 APPENDIX D: Demographic Questionnaire 1. Age: What is your age? 2. Education: What is your highest education status? 3. Marital Status: What is your current marital status? 4. Parental Status: What is your parental status? (note: single, guardianship/custody arrangements) 5. Occupation: What is your occupation? 6. Occupational Status (note: employed F/T, P/T, on leave, etc.). What is your occupational status? a. b. c. d. e. f. g. h. i. Employed, working 1-39 hours per week Self-employed, working 1-39 hours per week Employed, working 40 or more hours per week Self-employed, working 40 or more hours per week Part-time employment Maternity leave Not employed, looking for work Not employed, not looking for work Disabled or sick leave, not able to work 7. Ethnic and Cultural Identification: How do you ethnically and culturally identify? 8. Location: Where are you located? (note: country, province, general area) 9. Family and dependents: How many children are you a parent or guardian for? (note: ages, if with current partner, and note if adopted) a. b. c. d. e. Age: Age: Age: Age: Age: Child with Current Partner? YES NO Child with Current Partner? YES NO Child with Current Partner? YES NO Child with Current Partner? YES NO Child with Current Partner? YES NO Adopted? YES NO Adopted? YES NO Adopted? YES NO Adopted? YES NO Adopted? YES NO IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 115 APPENDIX E: First Interview Guide Participant #: ___________________ Interviewer Name: ___________________ Date: ______________________ Interview Start Time: ___________________ Research Question: How do working mothers, who are generally content in motherhood and work, construct their own narrative of what it means to be a working mother? This research explores how participants have (a) developed their own narrative of what it means to be working mother, and (b) the process of integrating mothering and working into their identity. Introductory Script: Thank you for choosing to participate in this interview. Before we proceed, I want to remind you that, at any time during the interview, you may choose to disclose or not to disclose any information, depending on how comfortable you feel. You also may request to take a break or to stop the interview at any time. Informed Consent. A. Context/Background Information Preamble: The purpose of this study is to hear the stories of working moms with young children who are generally content, or feel like they’re in a good place, as a working mom. You agreed to this study because you’re a working mom with young children and are generally content with being a working mom. For the first part of the interview, I would like to get to know you. - To start, can you tell me a little bit of your family? o Potential prompts: ▪ How many children? Ages? ▪ What are the names of your children? ▪ When did you become a mom? ▪ Marital/partnership status? ▪ Guardianship? - Next, can you tell me about your work situation? o Potential Prompts: ▪ What is your work? ▪ Where are you working? ▪ How often do you work? What are your hours? How long have you been working in this occupation? ▪ Childcare situation? - What does it mean to you to be generally content with you are as a working mother? (If participant struggles with contentment as a construct, reword to: what does it mean for you be in a good place and doing well as a working mother?) IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 116 B. Narrative Component - In this next section, we are going to hear your story of being a working mother. I am going to ask you about your process of becoming a working mother, and we’re going to talk about who you were before motherhood, becoming a mom, and then merging work and motherhood. - When I ask for a story, please describe a scene, episode, or specific moment in your life that stands out as important to becoming a working mother. Please describe this scene in detail. What happened, when and where, who was involved, and what were you thinking and feeling? Before motherhood: To start, I would like you to think about your early experiences of thinking about motherhood and work before you were a mom. I am interested in any stories or significant events that may have influenced your process of becoming a working mom. Please tell me your story. o Potential prompts: ▪ What are your earliest memories of thinking about becoming a mom? When did you start thinking about motherhood? ▪ Was motherhood always a value or desire of yours? How did you develop a sense of motherhood before becoming a mom? ▪ What was your belief or worldview towards mothers who work? ▪ How did your family/culture influence your values towards work/motherhood? ▪ Is there a story or particular moment that stands out to you? ▪ Was there a change in self/work when thinking about motherhood? Becoming a mom: In this next part, I would like you to think about your early experiences of becoming a mom (i.e., pregnancy, postpartum, postadoption) and thinking about how motherhood would coincide with work. Like before, I am interested in any stories or memories that stand out to you as you became a mom. o Potential prompts (highlight the journey, process, and change in self) ▪ How did you process becoming a mom? ▪ What were significant milestones in becoming a mom? How did these milestones impact your sense of self? ▪ What were your thoughts about returning to work in that early postpartum/postadoption period? ▪ Probe into specific times. E.g., When you were pregnant with your first, do you remember what stands out to your during that time? Do you remember what stands out to you during postpartum? ▪ Is there a story or moment that stands out to you as a new mother? ▪ How did motherhood change/influence your work, or values toward work? Merging motherhood & work: In this next part, I would like you to think about your early experiences of merging work and motherhood to where you are in the present, IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 117 as a working mom who feels generally content in work and motherhood. Like before, I am interested in hearing stories or memories that stand out to you. o Potential prompts (highlight the journey, process, and change in self) ▪ What was your experience of becoming a working mom? ▪ What was it like to start/continue working after having a child/children? ▪ How have you navigated the challenges of being a working mother? ▪ What are the messages you hear about being a working mom? How have you developed your own values/messages about being a working mother? ▪ How have you become a working mother who’s generally content with who you are as working mom? ▪ How have you merged working and mothering to become generally content or do well? How did you get to this place of being content? ▪ Were there things you put into place to become content? Is there anything else that you would like to share about your experiences of being a working mother? Additional prompts for meaning: - What does that mean for you? - Is there a particular moment that stands out to you? Additional prompt for story building: - Please describe a scene, episode, or specific moment in your life that stands out as important to developing a working mother identity. Please describe this scene in detail. What happened, when and where, who was involved, and what were you thinking and feeling? - Also, please say a word or two about why you think this particular moment stands out to you now and what the scene may say about who you are as a person. C. Demographics Component (see Appendix C) D. Pseudonym a. What pseudonym would you like to be called in the data? _______________ E. Closing a. Thank you for taking the time today to share your story about a working mother. I will contact you in __________ to schedule the second interview and debrief the study with you. IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS Interview End Time: ________________ _________________ Length of Interview: 118 IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 119 APPENDIX F: Second Interview Guide Participant #: ___________________ Interviewer Name: ___________________ Date: ______________________ Interview Start Time: ___________________ Participant Pseudonym: _______________ A. Read participant’s narrative to participant. B. Second Interview Prompts: ▪ What was it like to hear your story? o What did you resonate with/or felt good? o Was there anything that didn’t fit? ▪ Since we last met, did you have further thoughts or memories regarding your identity as a working mother? Was there anything you became aware of since our last visit? Is there anything that you wished you had explained more, or differently? Since our interview, did anything shift in how you viewed yourself or felt about your identity as a working mother? How did it feel to share your story with me? ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ C. Debrief (see Appendix G) Interview End Time: ________________ _________________ Length of Interview: IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 120 APPENDIX G: Debriefing Script Thank you for your participation in this study! It is greatly appreciated. I wanted to take some time to debrief the study. The purpose of this study was to examine identity development in working mothers with a child/children approximately five years old and younger, and who report being generally content with work and motherhood. Debriefing Prompts: ▪ What was the experience of participating in this study like for you? ▪ Was there a part of the study that felt difficult for you? ▪ Do you have any questions or comments about your experience of participating in the study? As a reminder, it will not be possible to withdraw your data after April 1 st, 2024, because I will have anonymized your identifying information and integrated your interview into the dataset. However, if you wish to withdraw your information before April 1 st, 2024, you may do so, and your data will be destroyed. Should you notice that you have experienced any undesirable responses today, or at some point in the future as a result of these interviews, I have a list of counselling centres that offer free or reduced-cost counselling that I will e-mail you after this interview ends. As a reminder, if you would like me to send you the results of this study, I can send you the completed project. Please feel free to contact me at tiffanycarmichael.research@gmail.com. Thank you again for your participation in this study. I am grateful for your time and contribution to this research project. IDENTITY INTEGRATION: THE NARRATIVES OF WORKING MOTHERS 121 APPENDIX H: Data Analyst Confidentiality Agreement As a member of the team using Narrative Thematic Analysis to analyze transcripts, you will be in possession of transcripts consisting of personal and sensitive information. You are expected to keep all information confidential and dispose of all materials when analysis is completed. I, _______________________________, agree to maintain full confidentiality regarding any and all recordings and documentation received from Tiffany Carmichael related to her project on working mothers and identity development. Furthermore, I agree: - To hold in the strictest confidence the identification of any individual that may be inadvertently revealed in the transcribed interviews. To not make copies of the transcribed interview texts. To store all study related documents in a safe, secure location as long as they are in my possession. To delete all electronic files containing study-related documents from my computer hard drive and any backup devices once analysis is completed. I am aware that I can be held legally liable for any breach of this confidentiality agreement, and for any harm incurred by individuals if I disclose identifiable information contained in the files to which I will have access. ________________________ Printed Name ________________________ Signature ________________________ Date